Claire Gerdes
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since: 09-18-11, id: 800014, Profile Updated: 05-19-13
country: USA
Author has written 32 stories for Life, Essay, Humor, General, Love, Mystery, and Historical.

Hello all! Claire here.

As you probably guessed, I write fiction (and sometimes ranty essays) and am an amateur editor and critic, because I like being a judgmental bitch? Kidding, kidding. I'm no writing guru, but I know what I'm talking about (sort of) and am happy to share any of that with others.

In case anybody's curious . . .

My favorite authors are Victor Hugo, Stephen King, David Sedaris, and Alan Moore.

I like Marilyn Manson and Wagner.

I'm also a fan of the web comics:

Romantically Apocalyptic

Scandinavia and the World


Notice: My other account "Claire Gerdes- Account the 2nd" is up, and Superiority: A Rant has been moved there. I'm posting all essays there.


You can contact me through my email: clairegerdes_writing@yahoo.comfor editing, writing help, or because you want to pester be with the mundane details of your life.

Have a good one.

-Claire


1. Sinners
Seven short stories, seven sins. Nanking, China. December, 1937. (warning: Non-graphic depictions of rape and violence)
Fiction: Historical - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,042 - Published: 5-21-13
2. Over and Over reviews
It seems like the weekend is all I live for at work, and vice versa on the weekends. Same old thing. Over and over.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 718 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-30-13 - Complete
3. Kind of Gay reviews
30 word prompts, 30 sentences. Using the characters from "Popcorn & Toast" and "Not-Girlfriends", companion piece, not necessary to read those first.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 724 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4-23-13 - Complete
4. Lies reviews
Everybody lies.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 395 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-23-13 - Complete
5. Viva Computer Superstore
Brian had nothing but his name tag, 8 cents in his pocket and a pick-up truck named Katherine, but he was feeling better than he had in a long time.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 334 - Published: 3-9-13 - Complete
6. Kitchen Mishap
A short, slightly funny flashfic about serial killers below the Mason-Dixon
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 321 - Published: 3-9-13 - Complete
7. On Her Own Terms reviews
Caroline Fisher is completely and utterly done putting up with other people's crap.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 287 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-2-13 - Complete
8. Last Rebellion of a Leper reviews
Sticks and stones may break Eve's bones, but shame has taken her voice. (loosely based on the story of Jesus healing the ten lepers)
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 417 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-28-13 - Complete
9. Sexy Sadie
It's Sunday evening, whatever the question is, the answer is 'why the hell not'
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 246 - Published: 2-5-13 - Complete
10. Walk On reviews
Writing contest entry with the theme "heroes among us" or something. Not sure I like how it came out, but whatever. [REPOST, as I accidentally posted my full address and sh*t. Yeah. Good job Claire.]
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 452 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2-3-13 - Complete
11. Just Cesse reviews
The mental musings of a prostitute who doesn't want to be saved.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 827 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-21-13 - Complete
12. For the Best reviews
There was no once upon a time because their life was not a fairy tale and their relationship, whatever it was, was not condoned. WARNING: contains incestual themes
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 347 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-13-13 - Complete
13. Hate Crime reviews
Mandatory essay I had to write for the essay contest "Do the Write Thing" with the topic of violence. Stupid # %*ing essay contest. Anywho, thought I'd post it here. Give me your thoughts if you want. Or don't. Doesn't matter to me.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 524 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-8-13 - Complete
14. Not-Girlfriends reviews
They were complicated and dysfunctional, but they couldn't bring themselves to care. Femslash (under 100 words challenge)
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-2-13 - Complete
15. Family Matters With Dick and Jane
(written on my flight to Minnesota) She would tell her that she hated her, but that wouldn't be lady like.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 459 - Published: 12-27-12 - Complete
16. Tuesday reviews
It is just another Tuesday and I am craving cheese.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 385 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-12-12 - Complete
17. Snails in Love reviews
Some snails can sleep for up to three years at a time. Three years is forever when you're a snail.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 372 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-12-12 - Complete
18. Popcorn & Toast reviews
Emily finally has the day off, and Karen always seems to have day off. Short Thanksgiving oneshot, femslash if you squint.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 743 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-22-12 - Complete
19. Pity the Fool
How many times have you heard "There's always somebody worse off than you?"
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,094 - Published: 11-4-12 - Complete
20. Nostalgia reviews
Highschool was terrible for 1/3 of us. Thirty years later the gym was still the worst.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 302 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-3-12 - Complete
21. Lover Crows reviews
"Webs of wrinkles trace around his mouth and face, and a pair of crows have landed on his eyes. " She wonders when they got so old and when it took so much grief just to retrieve a stupid jacket.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 600 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10-7-12 - Complete
22. The Five O'clock Man reviews
A suburban mother contimplates her neighbor's secrets.
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-2-12 - Complete
23. Until Death Do Us Part reviews
She knew he was dead, but that didn't stop her from hoping.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 420 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-2-12 - Complete
24. Bloodstained Love
I saw you, I loved you, I ate you.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Published: 8-2-12 - Complete
25. The Payphone Out Front reviews
Matt Morison is drunk and content. Kevin wishes he was drunk and content. The only thing they have in common is the payphone out front. T for gay-ness and creepy buisiness men
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,539 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6-29-12 - Complete
26. Forget Your Worries reviews
The average Joe in 2045 America converses with a homeless man who people forgot existed at all. This is America afterall.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 372 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-25-12 - Complete
27. Number Two Lead reviews
A conversation between a pen and a mechanical pencil. (AKA: the one with the awkward dialogue tags)
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 336 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 5-24-12 - Complete
28. As I Lay Dying reviews
A dying boys last thoughts. Death wasn't really as exciting has he'd expected it to be.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,040 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-10-12 - Complete
29. Prozac and Painted On Smiles reviews
A short little all dialougue fic on anti-depresants.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 287 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4-23-12 - Complete
30. The 17 Commandments of Jerseyism reviews
A parody of the ten commandments, Jersey style. Based off of a demented skype conversation with my friend Gracie, (Ko Rioth).
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 274 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-16-12 - Complete
31. When the Sun Goes Down reviews
Essay on mass hysteria (I think?) end of the world prophecies, and superiority.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 997 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-11-12 - Complete
32. Schizo reviews
A poem about schizophrenia.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-20-11 - Complete