Elia L Dodd is just what you might call my 'pen' name. I just started writing though, I just made this account so I could R&R.

Silly stuff...

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look".

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

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QUESTIONS TO MAKE YOU THINK...

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?
If you dug a hole straight through the Earth and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
Is it rude for a deaf person to sign with food in his/her mouth?
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
Why is bologna round and bread rectangular?
If you go down the wrong lane in reverse, is it still legal?
Why is vanilla ice cream white and vanilla extract brown?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
Why are the little styrofoam pieces called PEANUTS? Where the heck did they get THAT one from?
Why does the Easter BUNNY carry eggs? Rabbits are mammals.
Where the heck did the name Jolly Ranchers come from?
Why do they always do tests of the emergency broadcast system, but didn't use it on 9/11?
Who on earth was Sadie Hawkins and why did she invent that cruel dance?
Are mattresses ever NOT on sale?
Are earthquakes on Mars called Marsquakes?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
What happens when you ask "Is it just me, or did that really just happen?" and everyone says "it's just you"?
Similarly, what happens when someone is asked to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and they say no?