Hello people,

I am Anna. I am not exactly comfortable with exposing my offline identity, so I'll rather be called TTK, Tensai-Teki Kuroneko or Anna-chan. I will be posting my life-rants, as well as mindless babble on politics, my views, various matters, social problems and whatever I think about; here and on fictionpress.

I live in India, and that's the only information you'll need to know, I guess.

The things can go highly personal or extremely professional, since I love being all cool, natural and sometimes expressionless.

It's basically my life events that I'll portray, which are so random and unexpected, that I get quite frightened. Things happen to me at the worst and the best of times - it may be unbelievable at first, but that is how my life is. It is also the reason why I hate planning - nothing ever goes the way I plan it!

I am very childish. Sometimes I get too far with a mere prank, or sometimes I am so ridiculous that it'll make you guys laugh. Sometimes I get all gloomy and feel very depressed and mean, other times I am as cheerful as a daisy. I am extremely sensitive and when I regret doing something, I curse myself for hours, cry rivers for some more time, and throw away every ounce of self respect I have to make up for my mistake - even if it includes embarrassing public apologies which do hurt, a lot.

I am really anti-aromatic - the most unstable personality you'll ever meet. I have a really short temper, and it's easy to piss me off - especially when someone accuses innocent people, and curses a whole section of the society for doing what they want. I am against any form of discrimination prevailing in the society, be it gender, caste, religion, or anything else.

A very important point. I am agnostic. I don't believe in a specific religion or form of God. I believe that God exists, but I don't know anything else. I don't claim that all the texts are wrong or something, but I do believe they have been highly altered. I don't believe in any of them, and it's my personal choice. I don't want to argue about it.

I have got a HUGE interest in science, especially Physics! I am planning on devoting all my life to it, so please don't get irritated if I use TOO many stupid irrelevant scientific/mathematical puns sometimes when I write. I am quite fond of Japanese music, anime & manga, so references from there are also possible.

HIATUS

“Hiatus: noun, a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc.”

If you expected another piece of my unrefined, and pathetic if I may add, poetry, I apologize. I was quite busy for the last few months… and truthfully, I would not be in a state to publish any of my works for the next few months too – until June. Please keep on reading, I promise it won’t be boring. I have attempted to express my not-so-beautiful soul in form of beautiful words of the English language. Here are my excuses;

I would state this truthfully: I have not studied a single letter since the last three months, due to certain events(one of them heartily described on here) in my life that left me disturbed, unmotivated, uninspired and sorrowful.

I wasn’t selected in an entrance as well as scholarship exam; that left me brokenhearted. I had my fair share of excuses though, including running for toilet for half an hour before the exam, having a migraine and stuff, but failure is failure. Well… my mortal enemy got selected, and that was certainly killing me emotionally. I wasn’t able to attend my classes too. For a whole month, I had constant migraines every evening I sat down to study. I was beginning to think I had a tumor or something! I am still not sure if the pain has ceased or my nerves have blocked it.

I also started to have second thoughts, and I still do now, about my goal. I really love physics, but I love reading literature (classics) and writing too! I like journalism, business and law! God, so many things. I don’t want to do engineering, that’s for sure, but I need to do that for job security – according to my mom. She said that I can do whatever I want, but I have to get a degree that would allow me to become independent. It’s hard to abide by her advice.

Time and again, I imagine my heart to be a broken lantern, with a small flame – just about to die. Unmotivated. Dead. The restless serenity that kills you and tortures you at the same moment. Then there is my physics teacher who actually says so many positive things about me! I am really grateful to him, from the innermost crevices of my heart. But there is ever so much that you can do for someone else. It’s inevitable for me to get low sometimes. But it’s alright. I am blessed to have his support.

My wavering self-confidence has wasted so much time that I can’t help but feel guilty about it. That is truly my fault, and mine alone.

But life keeps on going, and so must I. We can’t just mop around and pray for the floor to clean up itself! (Excuse my horrible attempt at pun.) So I need to make up for all that is lost now, no matter what. Time has never been easy on me, but it has taught me so much. Like fire that teaches you not to touch it, so does time teach you not to misuse it. But I have made mistakes, and time has actually been kind enough to forgive them. I hope it does so again, for one last time – so that a flawed person like me still gets its crucial support.

I have my ISC board exams in February and March (for those who are not aware, check this out: CISCE). They are so significant that it annoys me! I have to study quite a bit for this last exam of my high school. I need to maintain my reputation, for I boast not, I am quite an excellent student, no matter how little I study. I don’t want to let down anyone who is kind enough to place their precious faith in me.

With this, I bid you farewell, for I will not be on here for the next few months. But I will come back, with the story of my life, bared and unpolished, in form of poetry, prose, humor, pathetic puns and whatnot; and I wish you would be here then too. I am not going to get vain enough to ask you to wait for me, but if you would ever want to do so, I am truly grateful.

I know this wasn’t as interesting as “Lizzie Bennet’s Diaries”; but I hope someone out there read it.

I hope I succeed… and I hope you do too – wherever you are, no matter in what state, I hope Providence is kind to everyone with a kind soul and a true heart – even if that doesn’t include me, though I want to think it does.

I want the teeniest amount of your good wishes to follow me through this tough time. Even if you don’t wish to write it, please try to take a moment to send your wishes from your heart to mine. I am sure they would reach me. All I ask for is your kindness. Thank you.

Yours sincerely,

Tensai-Teki Kuroneko (Anna)