Hello, you've unfortunately stumbled upon my profile because you've read my attempt at writing fiction. If you managed to finish the story and wanted to see what kind of weirdo is behind it, thanks for your interest! If you got to the second word, couldn't go on because your brain would explode from the FAIL, and wanted to glean as much personal information from the profile as possible so you can track me down and personally stab me in the eye with a blunt spork for creating the piece you just read, thanks for your interest!

All I can say is, if you are reading this and have for some bizarre reason left me a review, or even, a POSITIVE one (!), then please know that the 30 seconds of your life you'll never get back, and could've spent doing something productive like biting your nails, you took to encourage or insult me and my story is greatly appreciated.