“It’s best that I be as clear about this as I can—I want you to understand that my basic belief about the making of stories is that they pretty much make themselves. The job of the writer is to give them a place to grow (and to transcribe them of course). If you see things this way (or at least try to), we can work together comfortably. If, on the other hand, you decide I’m crazy, that’s fine. You won’t be the first.”

~Stephen King, On Writing

Frequently Asked Questions:

Do you have a Name? Call me Gaki, or Theo, or Mittenpaws...

Where are you Located? IN A BOX...under a freeway overpass...with a laptop...okay, I'm lying, but you'll never get it outta me! NEVAH!

What is your current Age? I'll give you a range: 12-56 There's your range, go for it.

Are you a short person? Yes...I'm exactly 5.03ft tall.

Five feet tall, you've gotta be light! Yes, yes...my thighs don't touch when I walk.

Are you a dude or a chick? Cheep, cheep!

WHAT...is your Favorite Color? Green...blue...wait...AAAAAAAAH!! ("Would that be an Afrian swallow or a European swallow?")

Do you have a Favorite Food? I like to eat babies.

Do you have a Favorite Song? Piano Man

Then I suppose your favorite musician would be... Billy Joel hands down.

Do you have a GaiaOnline account? Gaki Toki

Myspace? I hate myspace. I have a facebook.

What do you think of the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer? Now this one is a question worth more than a sentence. I think the writing style is that of a fifth grader. Considering I never got past the first one due to technical difficulties, i.e. my eyes bleeding, I will only comment on the first book. Ahem. The first hundred pages or so were so boring I had to call people in the middle of the night just to have them reassure me that it gets better. It never did. James was my favorite character, he was introduced way too late in the book and he was killed incredibly too quickly and easily. Edward Cullen makes me want to punch him in the face and/or dive off a cliff. He has no flaws--totally unrealistic and incredibly dull. "Oh but his flaw is that he's a vampire." Hello guys, it's not a flaw if you LIKE it. Everyone said they hated Bella so I expected to like her--well that went down the shitter. I hated all the characters except James and Carlisle. And I especially hated Meyer's deliberate disregard for vampire lore. Bram Stoker rolls in his grave every time you turn the pages. Edward isn't a vampire, he's something else, so call him something else. Vampires don't sparkle, for God's sake. Note to fangirls: Feel free to pretend to claw out my eyes. Note to the men: Thank you, that is quite hot isn't it?

So then, if you're not crazy about Cullen, who is your favorite literary character? Well this is a hard one. I'm going to have to go with either Jay Gatsby or Roland Deschain. Jay Gatsby because I totally fell in love with him when I read The Great Gatsby. He was just a beautifully made character and he was just so perfect and so devoted. He's the only character in that book who deserves to be loved, other than the narrator, Nick. Jay would be so easy to pluck out of that book and marry. Especially after he finds that Daisy isn't all he remembered her to be. sigh I love you Jay Gatsby. Ah, and as for Roland. Nobody would marry him I don't think, but I love him for his incredible endurance and his cute naivety. To be in his ka-tet would be such an honor. I would follow him to the Dark Tower no matter how many times I had to die for him to succeed.

So do you have a favorite series? Durr, the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Seven books of pure awesome. I love nearly all the characters, including Mordred! (I just want to give that little werespider a hug! If he promises not to eat me that is.) The adventure is nearly nonstop and there were times when I had to remind myself to breathe, that's how awesome it was. I wasn't sure about it at first but after I got through the first book I was hooked. I couldn't stop, even through that tragedy in the beginnig of the second book, I put it down and an hour later I had to come back, it was nuts. I almost pissed myself at the end of it too 'cause I'd had a dream that totally went with it like the day before I read the end. Haha.

What about your characters? Who do you like best out of all of them? Jay. Omg, Jay Reddick. Haha. I know a lot of readers prefer Ren but I can't help but love Jay more, he's just so shy and adorable. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be working on Ren's story, but that doesn't mean I like him better. I like Jay because he was my first real character and he has a very nice character, he's believable even if his story isn't.

What is your current story fixation? Well I'm supposed to be working on Angel of the Crimson Halo (the rewrite), and I have a lot of it done...okay, only about half of it done. It's got 98 Word pages and about 57,000 words right now. A little over that number actually. It is my current fixation, I suppose. I have a lot of scenes, now I just have to string them together. While I stall sometimes writing that I'm currently working on the second installment of a series of short stories based on something I call "black water." They're just short little things, about 11 pages, and the first one is set on a farm, the second one in a mall bathroom, and a lot of the stories are based on my direct childhood memories--all except the horror parts anyways. Haha.

Do you find yourself often battling with Writer's Block? Actually not really anymore, no. I got out of a little bout of writer's block over the summer and I haven't had any problems since knocks on wood. I mean, yes, there will be somewhat dry spells but it's really just because I'm not trying hard enough.

What is your greatest fear? Tornadoes.

What do you want to be when you grow up? I'll grow older, but I'll never grow up. I'd like to be a high school History teacher. They alway seem to know what they're talking about.

What's the funniest thing you've ever written into your stories? Uh...Ren has a discussion with Damon about period blood once. Other than that...I dunno. I suppose just Ren in general. He's pretty funny.

The creepiest? Ren again I would say, when he tells Jay he's going to cut off his fingers with hedgeclippers and then eat his brain with a spoon. Or, if we're talking any story, in the first of the "black water" stories I describe this really creepy creature that's pretty awesome.

"Musicians want to be the loud voice for so many quiet hearts."

~Billy Joel

"No, it's not a very good story - its author was too busy listening to other voices to listen as closely as he should have to the one coming from inside."

~Stephen King

"Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian."

~Herman Melville