|Reviews for Lovin' You: Danny and Matt Vignettes|
| serwaverider chapter 9 . 8/11
The best intimate scenes I have read I found in a story called The Shakespeare Couple by Lapari Caprise here on FictionPress.
| serwaverider chapter 10 . 6/23
Love your stories. Re: writing certain types of intimate moments I would highly recommend reading, if you haven't already, an author here on Frictionpress by the name of Lapari Caprise. The title is "The Shakespeare Couple." The thoughts, emotions, motivations, words, and actions I find to be very male and successful in conveying the type of story the author is telling. Fantastic choices in language create a style of communication that is direct and simple about complex situations and choices.
| Normac chapter 10 . 11/25/2012
I find myself truly agreeing with JHeartbreak on some things. The first story was absolutely amazing. It was perfect. The second story had a few noticeable holes in it, but was still really good and sated the desire for finding out more about Matt and Danny. The set of vignettes is really throwing me off though. They're interesting, but both Matt and Danny seem really out of character. I really enjoy your writing, but I think that something isn't quite meshing with these vignettes.
Again though, you did an amazing job with the first story. It was fantastic!
| JHeartbreak chapter 7 . 10/19/2012
Okay, so. This story. The third in the Matt and Danny series.
In the second story I mentioned that the looser, less structured plot was causing trouble, but you surmounted it with your 'light touch', as I called it. Here, the structure goes entirely out the window. Each of these vignettes is so unrelated to the last that you could have made these a series of one-shots and people would believe you. And some of them (this chapter in particular) don't have much in the way of a structure at all.
It causes me concern. Characters are nothing without the stories that they are in, and the more tightly wound the story, the more brightly the character shines. "Confessions and Fireworks" was not ABOUT Danny and Matt, it was about itself, and Danny and Matt just happened to star in it. The story expressed something on its own - the freshness of first love, the brilliant sensations of youth, the triumph of honesty over denial. But the vignettes of Lovin You express nothing, or next to nothing. It's like they are a grocery list. "Well, I should show the reader that they love each other, but things aren't perfect, so..."
What I suggest is that you start over with a new story and new characters. If you feel a kind of anxiety around letting them go, don't worry. Your new characters will probably be Danny and Matt in different skin - that's how it is with most writers. But making them anew allows you to play with them some more. Like, what if "Confessions and Fireworks" had been about two jaded, embittered teens? Or what if they had faced a much more difficult situation, like the one they experienced at the beginning of Lovin' You?
Well, take my advice or leave it. I want to see you grow as an artist, but I'm not here to reach over your shoulder and tell you what to do. I just hope my words have given a kind of perspective on your work that you didn't have before.
| mustard hen chapter 10 . 6/28/2011
I just read all of the stories with Danny and Matt, and I love them! They're so sweet, and I love the way you show the development in their relationship over time, as well as the conflict between Danny and his mum, because of her faith. This last part is something I'm writing into a project I'm working on at the moment, so it's interesting to see how another writer handles the same subject, if you see what I mean.
Anyway, I really enjoyed these stories, and I wonder if you're planning on writing any more? I know this is quite a long time after the original stories...
| MAGICAL.NARRATOR chapter 10 . 8/9/2009
gosh. I love your fluff!
I think It's your specialty.
| MAGICAL.NARRATOR chapter 2 . 8/9/2009
i just read the other two stories and they were the possibly the sweetest stories i have ever read.
So where did this come from? Don't get me wrong, I love these two. It just seems like a big gap from kissing at the farm house to cutting themselves.
I still adore them though ]
| mia5081 chapter 10 . 12/30/2007
Aww, I love them so much :D
| i-see-faeries chapter 10 . 7/7/2007
Cute and funny. Loves.
| Cokii chapter 10 . 12/22/2006
well i guess i was a little late asking for a continuation but at least it all ended nicely
| rainbowskye chapter 10 . 3/22/2006
Aw, it ends on a happy light note. Of course the fact that it ends isn't that great a note but c'est la vie. It's be a wonderful journey from when they first met to this point, and I'm glad I got the chance to have a look in on their lives. So thanks for writing it, it's been a delight to read :)
| rainbowskye chapter 9 . 3/22/2006
*giggle* handcuffs, yay! I bet they looked so hot all punked out like that *sigh* This was a fun piece to read. Well, they all are so.. yay
| rainbowskye chapter 8 . 3/22/2006
Adorable! Hehe.. yay for food related scenes like this _~ Just.. I need a thesaurus since all I wanna do is yell "They are so cute! So adorable! Made for each other!" Hehe.. well, since it's true I'll just say that and be thankful that you can write such greatness
| rainbowskye chapter 7 . 3/22/2006
That was.. brilliant. Just the caring, loving nature of it all. It worked really well for the boys relationship. Just more proof that they are perfect for each other _
| rainbowskye chapter 6 . 3/22/2006
That was so amazingly sweet and heart warming. I've said it before (I think) but I love your boys and I love your writing. It's just so.. sure there's angst but that is overshadowed by the fluff and the sweetness and all that is good in the world :)