Reviews for The Garden
Amaris chapter 1 . 2/23/2003
so this is it. This is my last review until you write more. I have managed to review every single one of your poems. I don't know what change occured in me, but I appreciate your poems a lot more now. Looking back on my past reviews all I said was I thought your poems were really scary and morbid. That they were far too depressing and that you should write about something happier. I don't know why I don't think that now, but even your older ones seem to have a lot more depth to them.

I mentioned this before, but I think poetry holds a lot more meaning if it is written about something cultured. I like how most of your poems give references to other works of art, or how you write about certain figures (like Adam, Even and Lilith in this case). I liked "The universe expands . suppose is that?" It's and more knowledge is available, and yet most people are ignorant and stupid. They refuse to see things in the bigger picture, and so it is a shame. It's a shame that we always want what we do not have. When we had few resources, we longed for more and more knowledge. And now that we have much more (although I'm sure there is much to come), most no longer attempt to know anything.
A.J.Peart chapter 1 . 11/12/2002
Holy crap!

I think that nicely sums up my initial impression of this poem. It strikes me as the kind of thing that would appear in poetry books, even with the occasional slips in rhythm (I'm not actually critisizing this aspect. I should be the last to do so.)

Frankly, I don't know where to start and part of me is telling me not to bother, that I'll give myself a heart attack of get some kind of hypnotic sickness from staring at the screen for too long. Maybe I'm just cut out for bouncing on pogo sticks and making fun of giraffes. At any rate, I'm willing to give a stab at this, but if I do you'll have to bear with me since a lot of this will probably be far fetched.

I suppose the best place to start would be the beginning.

Adam:

The first line is quite significant, I think, so I'll have to come back to it when I figure out why. I feel as though time has stopped for this part of the poem at least, "seasons lie in slumber when he wakes." It seems to suggest, though you don't say he's awake, but I suppose it can be assumed for all intents and purposes. What that has to do with anything, I don't know, I'm just putting a thumb tack where I figure one should go for safe keeping.

It's musical in a way, something that carries slightly into "Eve." The difference between the two being that "Adam" has songs revealing disorder when the unmentioned music is disordered in "Eve." I'll get to that later to try and make it more understandable.

"liars blame the Genesis of fray," Adam lies, does that mean he's blaming "the Genesis of fray" too? Just a thought.

"he lives to die again;" "deep within the grave." Suggests either reincarnation (Christ?) or that "Adam" is really just pretty much men in general or all of mankind. These things, in that case, that are mentioned about Adam are infact qualities or aspects of mankind. Lies, breathing, life and death; sin of man, jailed mistakes/his bitter children; fruitless will, referring I suppose to free will, mentioned again in "Eve," which suggests the squandering of it.

On a limb, I'd have to say that "Adam" is about mankind as it is today. Especially with all the crap about war in Iraq and all the other killing and death and whatnot that's been going on around the world. It just seems like it's about man[kind] going around doing as we please, waving free will around our heads crying, "Yeeehaw!" Maybe that's a little far fetched, but probably not as much so as when I finally get back to that first line...I'm still working on that, but I'll take a stab:

I suppose it could be saying that in our (mankind's) efforts to imprint a sort of disillusionment upon itself, it is in fact subjecting itself to a different kind of delusion. Taking my interpretation into account, it's like we think that what we're doing by attacking people who are "wrong" is sane, straight-forward, and entirely justifiable, when the decission to do so could actually be just as bewildered and delusional as deciding to do something otherwise.

I don't know, that's maybe just one way of looking at it.

Eve:

I suppose, to bounce this part off of "Adam," the first could be more the agressive side of humanity while this is more the sensual or affectionate side. That kind of shows in the wording, something that I've been told (grilled, more like it) into understanding as one of the most important parts of poetry or verse. "Eve" is a much more "tame" section than "Adam" where there are much less harsh images and words.

You've also brought a more religious tone to the poem here, suggesting that the affectionate side, perhapse the more rational side, is where the belief and love of God exists. However, calling it rational would go against that whole first line thing from "Adam" in a sense. That line I think also attaches itself to the fact that light cannot exist without dark, good without evil, rational without cosmic, et cetera. Therefore, regardless of how rational "Eve" is, there's still cosmic aspects. Although, I'd have to stress that "Eve" seems to be more prevelent in the rational whereas "Adam" is more so with the cosmic side of things...if that makes any sense at all. I'm not even sure what relevance that has.

I'd argue that this second part of the poem is a reflection of "Adam," just as Eve and Adam are, in a sense, reflections of each other (by reflection I mean opposite, writting viewed backwords, that sort of thing).

It's in the second stanza that the cosmic begins to show it's ugly head more; it's not quite as prevelent in the first stanza. Dreams are not ever considerably rational, I don't think. It makes sense, I mean, it's not like they always make sense or anything. Her dreams are also disjointed; "syncopated" being something like a change in rhythm for music. It makes her dreams seem like musical scores or something, which are maybe falling apart (this is where the tie to the music in "Adam" comes into this, if that helps with the understanding part).

All in all, I think that "Eve" is about the religious rational side of mankind fighting against the cosmic side, but finding that it itself is cosmic as well and that the battle between the two sides is hopeless - that there really is no rational or cosmic.

Far fetched, I know, but in my strange little world I'm starting to find some sense to this.

Lilith:

I'm wondering if Lilith actually has some importance in this part...hmmm...

Judging by the length of this already, I'm going to see if I can spare you the longevity of my ramblings and cut it short. After all, "brevity is the soul of wit" is it not? (Sorry, that's my English major side sheading itself of it's overgrown egotistical quotational prowess... i.e. inane behaviour)

I think I can sum it up fairly quickly, so here goes:

I see "Lilith" as "The Garden" (Earth), it had to be in here somewhere, eh? It surpasses the cosmic and rational, and thereby exists outside of the two, trying to cope with it. "In lands of ardent chaos she will reign / until the tides of vagrant seas unite." That line almost seems to my who aregument about "Lilith" into a two line simplicity as opposed to my rantings.

Anyway, as for my comment about Lilith, I think I could apply her by arguing that she's like the third wheel. She had Adam snatched away from her by Eve by means of love. Then, applying it to the poem, she does it again by causing the two being cast down from paradise, the Garden of Eden, or the Lilith of my interpretation.

Now, Wasn't that a mouth full? I hope I wasn't to unnecessarilly excessive or whatnot. I did get kind of carried away at times, for which I appologise, but I couldn't help myself. I got on a roll.

Now, I think because this is such a good and complicated poem (something evident more so in the reviews than the actual poem actually...okay, maybe not, but you get the picture), I'm going to have to throw some more tildas at you:

I think that should be about the length of the usual review, so it's like two reviews in one!

Again, pathetic on my part...I gotta stop being so weird.

Anywhoo,

I now shall take my leave
Obake-Chan chapter 1 . 11/4/2002
Wee! This time, I was able to review!

I like second stanza of Eve's. Don't ask me why. I don't know what that word is, but all I can think of is: true. Yeah. Kinda hard to explain.

I already said this, but the irony in the first stanza's in Adam's. I like(But then you think veeeery deeply and it's not ironic. Oh. Weird me).

Another one of my pointless review! Yah. Sorry.
Guest chapter 1 . 10/26/2002
Well let's see...let's just call it creation. Since I'm in the middle of Clockwork Orange, I'll deal with such a thing as a real extensive review. The one thing I did like, is that you didn't rhyme.
sylvijove chapter 1 . 10/26/2002
Lilith... sounds familiar. The stanzas about Adam and the ones about Eve especially... are beautiful. Kind of... a revolting... beauty... exhalting in evil and death and destruction... but hey, the beauty is the writing style.
Gao-M chapter 1 . 10/26/2002
Very nice poem, deep ideas, nice rhythm and style. Good job! you're getting better and better. Erm... maybe you want to do an uplift and a downfall two part poem, i think you'd do that well (at least the downfall), and maybe you should try to make the beat a little faster.
the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 10/24/2002
*head spinning, feels like Alice in Through the Looking Glass: "It seems very pretty. Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas - only I don't exactly know what they are!"*

That pretty much sums up what I feel every time I read one of your poems. It's hard to delve into them, because your metaphors are so thick...that's not to say it's a bad thing; on the contrary, it's a good thing in poetry.

I *sort* of understand the Adam/Eve sections, but I don't see how Lilith ties into it. Do explain the poem sometime to me, I'd love to know what it means.

Please keep writing, I'm suffering from lack of poems from you! Peace
Impressionist chapter 1 . 10/17/2002
Interpret? No thankyou. I'm much happier reading this and living in my own dillusions on what it could mean. I must say, it's absolutely beautiful. The portrayals of Adam and Eve are brilliant. Such sadness you see in them...a due sadness...obviously...seeing as they caused the downfall of the world. But we can always rely on hope, ne?

I've been waiting for a while for you to post something new. And now that you have, I am no disappointed. You write wonderfully, and this piece I think is one of my favorites. I'll admit that I don't know much about Lilith, but I do know a great deal about Adam and Eve, and this piece is perfect. well done, my friend.
peachykeen chapter 1 . 10/15/2002
Tres bien overall E-dog. When did you read the Bible? Have your poems rhymed before and I just haven't noticed, or is this a new thing? I really enjoyed many phrases and I understood most of the words this time!