Reviews for Because of What I Did
The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 9/14/2012
I really like how you start and end with a realisation because it makes the entire poem read as a sort of epiphany and that makes it all the more engaging.

I don't like how you've used the line [but worth it in the end] in the middle of a "sentence/clause", much less the poem because it holds a sense of completeness in it. Perhaps if you put a dash, it would have segregated it from the next line a little better, but as it is the meaning/power can be rather diminished.

[Every little girl will be treated as a precious ruby] - I think perhaps a line break should go after "treated" - I think it emphasises the imagery/meaning around "ruby" better.

I also like the story behind this poem. Beautiful, and especially since I learnt something new from it. :)

Ohana from the review marathon (link in profile)
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 7/27/2010
Congrats on winning the Review Marathon! Here is your prize review:

Wow, Mini's first uploaded poem o

I like the topic of it, how it's all about her knowing the consequences of what she's doing. It always seemed to me that she really didn't-she just wanted to have her own rights, she didn't seem to be starting a movement-but it ties it in more with fate and karma and such the way she just "knows."

I also like the way you work in her name. "It will bridge the gap between every race." "Every little girl will be treated as a precious ruby/regardless of her color." Very creative.

I won't get too nitpicky because this is so old. Very nice piece. It's a powerful political topic, but at the same time I think you do a good job maintaining the nature of a girl.
Keree chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
This is very powerful and insperational. I really like the words ...a cover for racists who burn crosses... It means something to me. It really does.
Chasing Skylines chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
[Soon education will take African Americans everywhere

just like a sail moves ships.]

I like these lines; I thought the latter line was an allusion to how African Americans came to America back then.

[No longer will the darkness of midnight

be a cover for racists who burn crosses.]

Whether intentional or not, I liked how "the darkness of midnight" could be relating to skin color, and then in this part, with the last line:

[There will be no more words

for white people to shoot at me

like bullets.]

It could be referring to African Americans being attacked by gunshot.

And then:

[Every little girl will be treated as a precious ruby

regardless of her color.]

The correlation between rubies and color.

I liked how everything sort of wove together, and the resolve and absolute determination of the narrator.

- for the Review Marathon, link in profile.
May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 1/16/2009
This is a powerful well-written poem. Kudos! Peace.
Sexy Vampirechick chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
Sorry again!This is a make-up for my previous review not fulfilling the requirements.I chose one of the oldest ones 'cause I think I did most of your recent ones

I liked the metaphors in this the one where you described that soon they would accept the line:"Soon education will take African Americans everywhere

just like a sail moves ships."I really liked this a lot.

What bothered me a little was the rhythm of the didn't flow too well and I think in some parts you were missing some words...or am I wrong?
loversdream17 chapter 1 . 9/26/2008

sorry i haven't reviewed in a while been busy with my kids and omg do they keep my busy. I really like how you captured the moment. Great explainitory piece with a spectular topic the changed our history. Great job.

radioactive stanica chapter 1 . 9/15/2008
Wonderful point to put across. I love it.

Lexi Matthews chapter 1 . 9/14/2008
I like it! It flows easily, as if you're holding a conversation with the reader. Great job!
blue-dan chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
lymli chapter 1 . 6/10/2008
this brings me hope, I mean it's as if everyone can do what they wanna from this life.
dragonqueenc chapter 1 . 6/6/2008
Wow, this is so beautiful. T_T
DreamSweet chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
That was such a beautiful concept. I felt uplifted after reading this.
scarlet stars chapter 1 . 3/30/2008
I like this. Ruby bridges was my hero when I was little. My favorite parts were-

"No longer will the darkness of midnight

be a cover for racists who burn crosses.

There will be no more words

for white people to shoot at me

like bullets."

Beautiful...So, overall, I think the beginning and end were extremely dull and simple, but the middle was really good and made up for that. Nice job!
lordelfy chapter 1 . 12/10/2007
aww this is really cute!
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