Reviews for preordered tombstone
Kirney Slate chapter 1 . 10/20/2002
well, there it is man...

that was brilliant.

I could see your poetry in it, and your prose is thick and elegant. I loved it. It's a wonderfull feeling that you give.

Okay, my suggestion is to either explain the wife's (the Wife, great capitalization) role more, or downplay it. Right now, that passage sticks out. But everthing else is really brilliant.

-kirney
Kievsky chapter 1 . 10/20/2002
I've been offline for a while, but I'm happy to see that I didn't miss your first prose piece!

This is good. It's sad and quietly elegant, undeniably tragic, like even the words are veiled in black. You've also made it sound very real-the dialogue, the plot, and the emotion are all true to life.

The only possible improvement I could suggest is to vary the sentence length a little; they're consistently short. Most of the time this enhances the flow of thought in the story, but a few of the sentences could be combined just to make the narrative less choppy.

Your ideas and gift with words are commendable in both poetry and prose; I encourage you to keep writing in both forms.

(P.S. Thanks for reviewing the poems.)
Piper Cub chapter 1 . 10/19/2002
Excellent job, Rose!