Reviews for In The Eyes of The Damned
christinaxxyo chapter 1 . 6/20/2007
You had some grammar mistakes, but the chapter was still interesting. :D
Lady Psycho 14 chapter 3 . 3/3/2006
Very good. Gr8t story. Smilez
Lady Psycho 14 chapter 1 . 1/19/2006
Wow really awesome story I really luv it. Keep up the gr8t work.
blank chapter 1 . 4/9/2005
It's very enjoyable. The vampire is quite entrancing.
Rose Dark Thorn chapter 19 . 7/28/2004
Well, I can honestly say that I definitely found this story rather interesting. Although, I think it sounds unfinished, and would love to see it continued. Derrim's story was magnificant. I would've liked to see more on Derrim and Lydia, however. After he took her away, and her teachings, and whatever else may have happened. I would've liked to see that, but it was a great story nonetheless. I hope to see more stories like this in the future.
VampireGirl99 chapter 1 . 7/9/2004
hello. You are a great writer! Keep it up!
-VG99
TM3 chapter 9 . 7/6/2004
I'll be honest, I understand the whole format of the story is to be a "life story/drama" but this is just dragging on. Plus I'm kind of lost where the location is. I'm cetain this is somewhere in Europe but where? You did mention Greece but the rest is left in the shadow (unless your just purposely forgetting the historical or geographical details and focusing more on the actual drama of this tale).
Rose Dark Thorn chapter 17 . 7/2/2004
How touching. Tala survived it all, and hopefully, things will all wrok out. You're really good with suspense. You definitely have me wondering if Laden and Derrim are going to make it out together in one piece.
Something tells me though, that Laden will see a bitter end...
I can't wait for more.
TM3 chapter 8 . 6/16/2004
Revewing chapter 4 to 8:
You've assembled an interesting cast of characters and relationships. The story itself treads in a "been there, done that" territory but the characters help trancend that. The love between Bellium and Tiana could really be felt as well as thew hate and rage of her murder.
I admire your stuff and you've got one hell of a knack for creating the depressing and moody atmosphere.
TM3 chapter 3 . 5/31/2004
Wow! Now things are really starting to get interesting. Can't wait to see what else happens after that! Your descriptions are solid and never get me lost on where the scene is taking place. Good Job! A vampire raising a mortal child? Didn't see that one coming!
TM3 chapter 1 . 5/23/2004
Despite a few spelling/decription mistakes, it's a very intriguing and immersive chapter. It's constantly focused on the story and doesn't ramble off in multiple directions.
It shames to say this but I had passed your story a couple of times and idiotically dismissed it as just another boring, melodramatic vampire piece. Dammit, I was obvoiusly wrong.
Plan to read more. I would've read all the chapters and gave a big review, but I was anxious.
Good stuff so far, Mariuss!
Rose Dark Thorn chapter 15 . 5/17/2004
Interesting chapter. I really like the idea of this. It like a circle. The mistakes are happening all over again. I wonder what will become of Tala.
thechallenge chapter 1 . 5/16/2004
Hey, check out the story challenge!
Alfred von Schlieffen chapter 1 . 4/6/2004
Very nice, Alone. Now you can feel special having written 25% of the reviews on this story, all of them less than 150 words in length.
Hm... I've completely forgotten about fictionpress lately, besides my own writing. Stupid computer games. I've got to read further on this than chapter two.
Endless Nightmares chapter 14 . 3/31/2004
Hello-
Hmm...I noticed some places where commas needed to be placed such as,
"As we proceeded through the front doors I watched her eyes light up"
A comma needs to be placed after doors, because its a pause in the sentence.
So it should look like,
" As we proceeded through the front doors, I watched her eyes light up."
and a comma should be placed after the word around, in the line:
" As I looked around, my gaze met with Laden's."
Hopefully that will help in your future of this story. But the commas were your only flaws within this story, the rest of your story is great.
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