Reviews for emotionless
Shadafakup chapter 6 . 2/11/2003
Warhhh- go on... i cant wait for u to continue.. why did u have to stop. u're good u know.. really good.. i like ice.. good description.. nice style- straghtfoward.. n NO, its NOT confusing.. how to review every chap.. its like- im a sucky reviewer.. but ur story is NICE... go on.. i cant wait.. u just had to leave it there right.. u JUST had to.. ok- im crappin on n on.. just continue writing n update frequently.. its good.. serious..
hiro0911 chapter 3 . 12/2/2002
hey, got your rev. as i promised - here's my review.

i haven't finished reading your work (because of loads - i said LOADS of pointless homeworks) so i have to stop after this review. you have a good plot, and good choice of words. however, i can point out one thing from your work. you tend to crowd so many speaking lines in one paragraph. the tendency is that the reader messes up one line said by a person by someone else (get what i'm tryin' to say?) so to improve that, you can put one speaking line in one paragraph followed by a short (or long, it depends on you) description on how that particular character rendered that line. that will make your layout better too - just like a real book. and your story is kinda fast too so mellow down. that's about it! but the rest is great! the speaking lines are fitted for the scenes. also, it will be better if you try working on character developments. try to make your characters grow: at first, point out their weaknesses and flaws, then after that, as the story goes, try to correct them (again, do you get what i'm talking about?) hehehe...

sorry if i'm being in such an "editor" state! Well, that's really the way to review works, right? You've got a long way to go! Thanks for my reviewing my work, BTW.

"Zero Dragon"

. ?storyid1027750

"Eternal Finale"

. ?storyid1086468
etna chapter 5 . 11/13/2002
scary darius. *pokes* owellz. but he's poor thing too... -_-... yeah interesting plot ahead. ) And evil writers block. I know how it's like. *stabstabstab*


and thx for reviewing my fic XD!
SaturnActingChick chapter 4 . 11/3/2002
this reminds me of an anne rice book, "interview with the vampire" and I must say, I am totally liking the idea od vampires pretending to be mortals, pretending to be vampires. It's such a funny concept, I just love it. Anyway, keep it up! _~ ::hugs Darius:: I hope he knows that if he supresses his hunger, he'll just go on a mad killing spree or starve...anyway, continue asap?

aznchick chapter 2 . 10/26/2002
aww...:( now i feel sorry for darius. bad past neh?

i just noticed u had really long you use MS Word? if you doesn't quite work out as well ne more _ just a heads up.
SaturnActingChick chapter 3 . 10/26/2002
_~ vampire? nice...I always thought Darius would make an intersting vampire, with his red eyes and pale skin. In my opinion, red eyes and pale skin are trademarks for a successful vampire...well not really. Interesting. Please continue when you have the time. Ja.

aznchick chapter 1 . 10/26/2002
pretty good. i like the description of Darius.
Fantasy Cat chapter 3 . 10/26/2002
Ya know, I havent read any original fanfiction in a really long long time, but this...THIS KICKS ASS! Oh pretty please continue soon!
SaturnActingChick chapter 2 . 10/24/2002
_ I like this. Keep it up? Update asap, please! _

hiro0911 chapter 1 . 10/23/2002

i think you really DO hate going to school...

guess what? we've got something in common (yeah!)

what you wrote is very expressive (contrary to the title of ur work). i guess we're all just being true, huh? some teachers really s just 'weird'.

keep it up. it's your first work and i think you're doing great. i'm just new here, you see, and i'm reading some interesting entries around this site and i think yours is really unique.

feel free to read my story too. i'm into adventure stories - "Zero Dragon" by hiro-0911