hey, nice story; i really like it. lots of twists and all that good junk. keep up the good work, and for some plans for revision, try adding some more detail; that would help a lot. have fun & update! Ja ne!

Col. Interesting plan, there. Nice guards. Old, though.

erm... I didn't read the last chapter..maybe if you divided it into paragraphs, though...

Other than that, 'sall good! I like the critters that celebrate whenever a kid drops down. Interesting. I've never heard that one before.

Col.

Augh! You jerk! I wanna know what happens! Please please please please write more? For your bestest friend?

~ME~

Hi. I haven't read the story yet. I just thought I'd drop a line, say Hi.

Hi.

Am I annoying you yet? If I am, tell me, so I'll do it more. My eyes hurt, because I was reading another friend's story, but I'm going to do yours.

Because, unlike SOME PEOPLE, I actually read the stories I say I will read.

So...I'll send you another review in, like five, ten minutes, whatever.

Hi.

Bye.

For now.

Gah! Write more! You should have Tzaron and/or Sarine at the chapel... it would make some drama! Mwahahahaha! Kay... I'm done now.

~ME~

AAh! I got shouted-out to! I feel so proud : )! Oh, and if you ever need anyone to proofread your stories, I will happily do so! Anyway, this is still really good. I'd read the rest but my dad is kicking me off the computer since I've been on all day. Keep writing! My email is - if you need anything writing-wise, just ask!

Well, it's a nice chapter you've added. I know because (unlike some people), I actually read your stories.

Guilty adn sheepish. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

cool story! i'm gonna put it on my favorite's list! update soon! :

WRITE MORE!

hey great chappy (as well as story but you know that _) can't wait for more i love this story i wanna know more about rini and tzaron :) well i gtg please update soon! keep up the awesome writing

Lauren

P.S. I Love Orlando Bloom ;)

Very neat characters and lovely language!

I like it!

But be careful of your grammer and spelling.

Such as: "Your right", which should be "You're right". Your is when you're saying "Your shoes" or something like that. It's not bad or anything, I used to do it too until someone pointed it out to me. Now my writing is heaps better .

Anyway, keep writing, I want to know what happens next!

Take care,

L.S.

Good! I like it! But you left it at a cliff hanger, so now i'm irritated. Try again, hm?

Like, write more.

short chappy but it's better than nothing i love this story it's awesome can't wait for more keep up the great writing!

Lauren

~ all that is gold does not glitter,

not all those who wander are lost;

the old that is stroung does not wither,

deep roots are not reached by frost.

from the ashes a fire shall be waken,

a light from the shadows shall spring:

renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

hi you need to write more... as in what tzaron says when he finds out shes the princess... ya know... k im done bye ttyl