|Reviews for Drown|
| Wandering Oukami chapter 1 . 2/3/2005
Very powerful words! Why is the boy so sad? I think I can picture that icy gaze of his. So sad, yet so comforting. I know how it feels to want to drown. Emotions are a trivial thing. Great job on this poem. Thumbs up!_
| Sithy Chan chapter 1 . 12/5/2004
'Strange unatural and unholy,' That was my favorite line. Wow this is an awesome poem, its awesome. Keep up the good work. I can sort of relate to this poem, but only a bit. Well anyways, good job.
| faerie-gumdrops chapter 1 . 4/8/2004
Wow great work, I love the last line especially 'so I don't drown'. To be really penickity (is that how its spelt - i doubt it) and now hypocritical you've used the wrong your instead of you're at a few points. Anyway yeah its a brilliant poem - lol I know exactly how you feel!
| First Lady chapter 1 . 8/5/2003
WOW! This is fantastic! Why would I ever flame it? I can totally relate to it... Keep it up girl!
| Caden Torseck chapter 1 . 3/14/2003
Your poem is very emotional but a lot of your opposing forces in your story are brought out too quickly. I think if you went on about him/her being a stranger in the first two stanzas, then about how you feel like you know him/her in the next. Then about how they act, and why it is so scary and yet so familiar..so drawing.
This is just a suggestion, something I think would make it flow better. But you could leave the poem the way it is if you prefer. As you see, a bunch of people already like it the way it is.
And you used the wrong "you're" and spelled different incorrectly. But that's not much of a problem.
Please review my story. D Thanks.
| Savak chapter 1 . 1/19/2003
Wow! I'm very impressed. Another reviewer already remarked on how it cam straight from th heart, but I think I'll just repeat that (hee hee). Anyway, I like this alot. There are some minor little tiny thingies (Like your instead of you're) that I only noticed the second time, because I was too busy being awed by the poem itself.
| Bienfoy chapter 1 . 11/8/2002
'Your ice cold stare drowns me' -i really loved that line; this is a gorgeous bit of writing...hope it works out for ya honey!
| Phoenix Flower chapter 1 . 1/23/2002
Wow, that's really good. It's very moving. I like it a lot! Good job!
| Adar Daath chapter 1 . 7/22/2001
Ooohhh... I likey a lot. Kind of reminds me of the relationship that developed in high school between my fiance and I. Hell, actually. Considering she was the adoring poet and I the jaded, naive psuedo-philosopher without a moment to spare (I did grow up... really), I don't know if I should encourage your persuit of him or suggest you not go through the torment I put my angel through. Hopefully, he's a better man than I. Uh... so that's my life history, splat all over the internet. I'll shut up now.
| Selena Benilo chapter 1 . 1/7/2001
Nice. Not one of my favorites but still beautiful.
| Marian Darkke chapter 1 . 12/28/2000
It sounds like it actually comes from the heart; those are few and far between. I hope everything works out for the best. Good luck. ~md
| Asclepius chapter 1 . 12/8/2000
I totally liked this one cause I somtimes ask myself these same questions. I wished I knew someone who looked at me that way. Keep on writing...