|Reviews for The House of St John|
| Nathan Ridge chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
Well, before I start my review, I must take a bit of a breather; that was a long stretch of reading!
I see you've labeled the first 'chapter', as FictionPress calls it, "Book 1" but it couldn't hurt to divide each chapter up as well, with the start of each book preceding the first chapter of that book. That's just my suggestion, take it as you will.
One thing I had difficulty with was the placement of the chapter divisions. Often, I felt as if the content from one chapter to the next was uninterrupted and flowed smoothly except for the announcement that the reader was in the next chapter. That kind of threw me for a loop because I'm used to a new chapter representing a shift in the progression of things. It may just be me, but I felt that the placement of the each new chapter was very abrupt.
One other critique I have to offer is in the dialogue used in the text. I may be wrong, but I thought that to be grammatically correct, a new paragraph must be started each time someone new speaks. You did it sometimes, but there were just as many times where I had to reread in order to find out who was speaking, such as when the three sisters were speaking with each other at the beginning.
It was a good read, and if I can find the time, I will continue reading and reviewing. I especially liked the whole Stephen King atmosphere, and the vocabulary was exceptionally verbose to say the least. Simply put, I liked it.
| SusinaSkye chapter 4 . 3/21/2008
WHEW! *letting out low whistle* What an ending! I think it would be great if you ever wrote a sequel to this...maybe about Desiree breaking the St. John sisters' curse, or something like that. It was quite a story, and I think you did a great job on it!
| SusinaSkye chapter 3 . 3/21/2008
Linda is definitely coming out of her shell, but in very much the wrong way. I wonder if getting all the way out to St. Louis for an evening will help lessen the curse's effect? Doesn't seem so...and it doesn't look too good for Linda. I'm hoping for a happy ending!
| SusinaSkye chapter 2 . 3/21/2008
Uh-oh, the curse is working on Linda but good! And I'm suspicious of Carlyle. He could almost be a love interest for Linda, except that he clearly has ulterior motives. It's gonna be very interesting to see where all this ends up!
| SusinaSkye chapter 1 . 3/21/2008
Hmm, an intriguing beginning! Three sisters and their curse, and the unsuspecting Linda Mayer about to walk head-on into it...you have got me into this all right. On to the next chapter. (Happy to help out with a few reviews!)
| Jesse Jacob chapter 1 . 11/30/2005
You have a wonderful imagination and true knack for writing. Your skill really rests in excellent description and key imagery. I hope you continue writing so I'll have more to look forward to.
-Jesse from work.
| Setsuna Sanada chapter 1 . 2/21/2004
*claps in appreciation of talent* That is very interesting...I wonder what will happen to her? Guess I'll just have to read and find out!
| MaryRose chapter 4 . 12/6/2003
That was a good story. I read it all in one sitting and I enjoyed it.
| BlueFire42 chapter 1 . 9/17/2003
soz can i ask summat? y r ur chaps like that? weird anyhows- shouldn't u be an author or sumthing? Meh- good story it took me ages to read this first chap though **sigh** yup!
-Kez- (feel free to view my horror)
| AnneKayley chapter 4 . 6/6/2003
Harry the story was extremely well thought out and detailed while being absolutely fantastic to read.
| Rogue Ronin chapter 4 . 5/31/2003
whoa, i've finally finished your fic. again whoa, nice way to end it. ever considered about writing another fic? 'cause this is really good.
| Rogue Ronin chapter 3 . 5/31/2003
wow, talk about having a split personality. lol you still have my inerest in the fic. keep it up!
| Rogue Ronin chapter 2 . 5/22/2003
hey, i really like the dream scene, very nice. and then the sudden change in personality, also smooth. again, not much on time, but one of these days, i do plan to finish this fic. lol
| Rogue Ronin chapter 1 . 5/16/2003
nice! i'm definately interested to read more of it. but unfortunately i'm running short on time. so i'll get back to it on the weekend.
| Juliet316 2000 chapter 4 . 5/5/2003
Nice Harry. Nice. Very good ending.