|Reviews for You Don't Know Me|
| hifun55 chapter 1 . 12/13/2003
I really liked it, though I think it is sad that she ended up killing herself. The suicide note was really real, it made ME feel as if I was reading a suicide note that a friend of mine would write. In fact that made it even sadder for me, but I loved it!
| Moofegurl chapter 1 . 8/7/2003
Wow. That's a really sad story. Very...interesting. It would be even better if you explanded it to include more about how she feels. It sounds like you know the exact thoughts and feelings that are going through her mind; I get the feeling that you could write ten more pages describing her situation!
I really, really enjoy your style. Keep up the good writing!
| kaika switched chapter 1 . 7/24/2003
Yeah, life sucks. Sucks too that the Ling girl had to resort to suicide, but that's life too. The suicide note was very raw - holding a lot of the same views people voice every day. You could have described the dagger better...instead of dagger-like, because well, of course a dagger is dagger-like, but hey, that was the only thing I found sort of...odd about this piece. It's very raw and emotional. Keep writing!
| NewBlueChampion chapter 1 . 7/6/2003
... well its good, and kinda angsty, but it really isnt very morbid, and down to earth... very real, and all that...
... inspiration ho!
it would be better morbid... but thats only my opinion
thanks for the review and i gotta go write my idea
| Lady Ezri chapter 1 . 4/29/2003
beautiful! Mariko! it is sad how ture this is...good job!
| Nanuri chapter 1 . 12/8/2002
*Whistles* Wow... you really have a way with words, I can tell exactly how the character is feeling and I can feel every bit of her pain. You're a great writer, I hope you keep at it!
| the weird kid chapter 1 . 12/6/2002
Ooh! Angst, angst and more angst. Even though it seems kinda weird that the person's going on about their name. I didn't think people were that stupid to judge by people's names. Oh well, seeing who makes fun of you weeds out the loosers from potential future friends. Dudette, I'd suggest for u to ask Christine to read you her birthday poem. It involves a suicide attempt so noturally, you'll be interested.
But, dudette, I think the recap on the end isn't needed. You don't have to say how the person died, just make it a little more mysterious. But I did like the line sleep and never wake, or what ever it was. And try not to be redundant. (like me -_-' )
*pats her on the head* Good job! _
| flamingshe-dragon chapter 1 . 11/11/2002
oh yeah, i noticed some typos. maybe you should scan over this again to see if you can fix most of them (if you feel like reading it again, that is...)
wow... dude, some of that sounds familiar, not just applying to you. i think that all of us've gone through something like that. hm..
~ your cuz, Flaming She-Dragon
| jaredphau chapter 1 . 11/11/2002
A good effort.
But not exactly angst, though. Try to add to the intensity of the scene. I might be wrong, but to evoke emotion from the reader, the author needs to transport the reader into the story.
I wasn't exactly 'transported' into Ling's world.
But it was a good effort. You write pretty well.
| Purple Colored Auora Petals chapter 1 . 11/10/2002
Very interesting. The suicide note was oh so very true...makes you think about some things that note did...in fact...I'm still thinking...it's a shame the girl killed herself, a real shame, but, that's life.
Very nice, good job, I found nothing wrong with this wonderful peice of collected words.