I like your idea, and I like your style. But I noticed a few errors in your rhythym. Try reading it out loud; if you have to speed up at the end of a sentence to make the words rhyme correctly, you should rearrange some words, take some out, or add some.-Julie

man why do you have to write such awsesome poetry! lol

Crystal Mew: O_O;; Why can't I write like that?

Elecmon: I just don't have a clue.

CM: Silence, muse!

Elecmon: -_-;;

CM: e_e Uh...anyway...I'd love to say something that compliments this wonderful piece of work, but it is almost, according to my clock, 12:00 midnight and I would like to get some sleep before I start to write run-on sentences. (reads what she's just written) O_o;; Too late. Oh, well. I'll finish this by saying: I liked it! _

TD: I jus realized something... you and I write almos exclusively Yu-Gi-Oh...

YTD: WAY TO BREAK THE TRADITION!

TD: She MEAN she luve it -.-

YTD: YAY! NO MORE SETO!

TD: *sigh* What happened to my first love... I sorry Luke... I din mean to forget ooo...

YTD: I apologize for my tired abyou... O.o Luke Skywalker?

TD: *changing subject* good poem. nice an patriotic

Hiya, my name is Anime and I just wanted to tell ya that I really liked your poem and can see why you got first place. Congrats, and good poem. If you ever write any more be sure to update me ok. See ya.