Reviews for Zenith
Amaris chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
I think.I'm sort of developoing a taste for your semi-depressing poetry. Just took me a while I guess. I liked the bit about Persephone for obvious reasons. "Her victims drop in triple time - with each beat of the nocturne," adds a nice, musical touch. Once again.a bit sad at the like I said before, you get a taste for this kind of semi-depressing stuff.
the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 12/1/2002
I love the imagery in this poem. The word choice is, as always, impeccable (what else can I expect from you?), and the idea behind this poem is original (how you explained the turning from night to day).

"Her victims drop in triple time -

with each beat of the nocturne."

What a terrific line. The last stanza is chilling as well "She'll leave no trace" - well, maybe not chilling so much as...mysterious.

Fantastic to see new poems from you! Keep writing and posting. Peace
peachykeen chapter 1 . 11/24/2002
Tres bien as always. I enjoyed this puppy, but as always, there are lots of words I don't understand. Umm,... pericardium...Persephone... anathema...umm, yeah, I think that's it. OH! aestival - it that a festival for aetheists? hmm, probably not. Anyway, nice imagry, keep up the good work, you crazy kid!
A.J.Peart chapter 1 . 11/24/2002
You know what? I really quite like this poem. In fact, it's about to become the second of the only two on my favorites list. That being said, I think I'll take a moment to reflect on the meaning of the poem...did I even need to say as much? I mean, isn't it generally assumable about most reviews from me? I know that last one was an exception, but hey, it's the exception that proves the rule!

I've come to the conclusion that I need to keep a dictionary close at hand whenever I attmept to review your work. It's a shame that I feel I have to admit this, but there's only so long that you can go about pretendind to know the meaning of all these words that, in truth, haven't been seen before. Oh well, at least you haven't (to my knowledge) made up any words.

Honsetly, I think the opening stanza jumps out at me the most. As it says, "They set the scene," that's what it does, but you've kept it separate from the rest of the poem, in a way. I don't know what you intended the second line to be a metaphor for, but I see the sky becomming dark at night. If that was your intention, I commend you for it, for it is a beautifully unique way of putting it. I would also assume that the whole idolizing thing compaired to Persephone would represent the onslought of winter; connected, of course, to November's mention later.

Just to save you some trouble, I'll try skimming a little more than usual.

The moon, the nighttime idol that looms in the heavens above, the zenith for a time before moving on across the sky...of course, I can't say that it's at the zenith here where I am, 'cause it's not often directly above, but hey, maybe someday it will be. Crap, that's the long version. I'll try to revise the length for the remainder...

Okay, stanza two:

The moon's movement across the sky. The halo, according to my dictionary, would be formed of either cloud or frozen ice in the air; the dewdrops maybe? Either way, the stanza suggests that the moon is the heart of the night, something like that.

Stanza 3:

Hey hey, November! Look at that! Okay, maybe not. Disease, the season perhaps. Night infects could be the cold temperature; it's pretty cold outside right now I bet, if only I'd open my window. Hello dictionary! Perhaps, as I seem to find that I'm unravelling these last two lines, this would be the transition from summer to autumn and then to winter ("Spring changed into summer, summer became autumn, and automn went into winter. Winter changed back into Spring, and spring gave summer and fall amiss and went straight back into winter." Something like that.)

Stanza 4:

"Cracked...off guard;" this is a wonderful description of the moon's surface! I really like it, in fact. Yet another reason for being added to The List. I like the twist on the general use of the image. Most times the moon is used for sorrow, melancholy, and/or plain sadness.

Stanza 5:

People falling asleep. I like the bouncing of "night" off the type of music...unless you meant something else.

Stanza 6-7-8: (might as well combine them)

Quick and easy; the coming dawn awakens the sleeping people, thus "nothing lasts" and "Aurora dims the stars," as the coming dawn. "She leave's no trace," I suppose I could argue against in that often there is the image of the moon still in the sky around 8 or 9 in the morning, despite the sun being up onthe other side of the cyclic horizon, but hey, who's taking 100% literal of everything that's said in poetry anyway? In other words, I'm not complaining, since, for the most part, the moon doesn't leave anything behind. Nothing, except maybe the memory of an eclypse for those who watched.

It's a great poem, and I'm quite liking it more as I work through it. Definitely on The List.

Now, I believe this ought to cover it:











That's so pathetic that I can't even be bothered to comment on it any more than to say it's pathetic, but if it turns out than at least I used tildas to make it.

Ille liber claudies, gladius rapies, et in meum cordem condies!

AJP
Obaaaake-chan chapter 1 . 11/23/2002
Wee! Me like the settings! Not very surprising from me. Heee... It reminds me of medieval times and the gladiators and stuff.

The second line of the second stanza, that is probably my favorite line of the poem. Kingdom... I love that word... In fact, I think I love the words that you used in this poem the most of all your poems.

Ha. Another brain-less review...
frenchfries chapter 1 . 11/22/2002
um ill review later im busy, hehe get it, never mind.
Impressionist chapter 1 . 11/22/2002
I love how your poetry seems to revolve around myths...fantasy...strange history. it gives me a sense that you were there at the time...which is...strange. :) this is absolutely beautiful, and I'm so proud of you. AAAnd...as far as I can see, this is the first review. *takes a bow* thankyou, yes, I'll be here all week. just kidding. but YOU...you'll be here for eternity, writing down words of poetic worth and wonder...amazing me forever.

yes! O_o
Lippy chapter 1 . 11/22/2002
I liked it. It reminds me of something of Poppy Z Brite's. It's dark and descriptive and has all of the elements of a good poem.