|Reviews for Deus Ex Quietus|
| Safety Canary chapter 3 . 5/30/2005
What was Elysium? I never understood. Was there something else of yours I had to read to understand this? Because Aaron was a character in another short story you did, from the summary of something else... so... unless, I'm wrong...
| Safety Canary chapter 2 . 5/30/2005
You really are an exemplary writer. I'm fascinated by this...
| Electra Fairford chapter 3 . 1/23/2003
Wow...very cool...still a little confused, I must confess.
Have you read the Gunslinger/Dark Tower saga by Steven King? A little reminiscent, in all the best ways.
I liked a lot of the imagery. I don't know if it's because of the medium(I don't read many screenplays), but very well done
| Loganberry chapter 3 . 1/23/2003
Must admit that I don't really like reading screenplays, but the fact that I stuck with this anyway probably says something. Got a bit confusing at times, though - I could have done with a short Dramatis Personae at the start. (At this point I expect a lot of people involved in the fiction industry will bury their heads in their hands, but I *like* the things, so long as they're kept short - Lindsey Davis does it just right.)
| Whisper to the Water chapter 3 . 12/20/2002
Well, Tim, I've finally rolled around to reviewing this. Since you explained it to me (I know, I'm soooooo desparately dull) I have no other option to recognize it for the work of genius it truly is. If I ever have the privelege to see it onscreen someday I am sure I will pick up on the whole Cage/Sam thing much more quickly (not giving anything away!)
I wouldn't worry about formatting too much. The dude who gave you your first review is some kind of formatting-nazi. Even I'm a stickler for accuracy, and I say pfftt.
You are a freakin' genius. Keep rolling this amazing work out.
| Anumati chapter 4 . 12/7/2002
Weird. It's good, but strange.
I like it.
I notice that you do a lot of "Smash cuts," which tend to be diconcerting if you do it too much. Other than that, I am appeased: the detail flows much better than before.
You had better explain the last scene or else I'll move to Texas and give you a beat-down Kenpo style. And also, I've changed my mind: The Sam/Cage and Dreyden/Amaiya relationships have different dynamics than they seem to have at first glance.
Keep it up!
-The Feather Walker
(ps, if steal my ideas, I'll give you an Etheryn enema. ;D)
| Anumati chapter 2 . 12/5/2002
First, I must say... WHY IS CAGE DESCRIBED IN ALMOST THE SAME DETAIL AS DREYDEN? AND WHY DOES SAM SEE VISIONS LIKE AMAIYA? It was like Deja vu... Creepy.
Whew. Now on to the review.
The descriptions were detailed but written out like a textbook; the structure was joyless to read. Make it more story-like, and drop all the camera stuff (It's tempting, but if you look at a sample of screenplays, you'll see that they rarely put them in. What you describe directs the camera movements).
Trust me, I know how aggravating screen writing is, because I have two of them in the works right now (Mostly static because of Rogue, but being worked at nonetheless). I think that this has been a noble effort thus far. Scene 6 was quite lovely, a good mix of visuals and dialogue.
-The Feather Walker
| Jack Bullions chapter 1 . 12/2/2002
You could use a lot help with the format and structure. It's a major turn-off for readers, especially script readers, when the writer chooses to go with screenplays but do not research how one would go about writing one. It's dismissed as lazy writing. That said, you should re-write this.
By the way, get rid of the first page with the author notes, and character descriptions. Author notes are irrelevant and pointless. A reader wants to picture the character INSIDE the story, not have it told right away by the writer.