|Reviews for The Unknown Defender|
| Heather the Great One chapter 2 . 2/4/2003
Still good, but I was a bit confused when Hilifer said: "Your manservant told us you were awake. The whole of the palace is in an uproar. What happened?" and then someone else says: "He was found, unconscious, outside one of the city gates."
Who is the mysterious gate waker explainer? Bla, you know what I mean. The second person. Was that Taugen or was the king supposed to be the one who said "What happened"?
Also, does the king have a name? If you mentioned it I missed it. Not using his name isn't a bad thing; if you refer to him as 'King' through the entire thing then it could be kind of a nifty little mystery... Or are you trying to say he thinks of himself as 'The King' rather than 'Bob' or whatever...Actually... The king without a name... nice ring...
| morrigaine chapter 2 . 1/9/2003
It seems a little unreal that he barely met this girl and he's in love with her. It is a story so ofcourse I am intruigued by it, but I think if you added a little more interaction between the two characters, his attraction to her might be better understood.
| Gwenuever chapter 2 . 1/9/2003
Wow, it's really good. I like this chapter better than the last. WEll the 1st one was good too. Yeah neways..oh wasn't the girl's eyes blue though? Or do they change color, (like some people's eyes are a mix and change according to their mood..or something like that)?
| ros chapter 1 . 1/9/2003
really good! Keep up the work...
| Prantis - Queen of Hearts chapter 2 . 1/9/2003
ok... didnt u say the chicks eyes were blue in chapter one?
| morrigaine chapter 1 . 12/8/2002
Cool start, it could use a little more character development, or maybe a little more lead up. Well that's what I think, but what do I know. Anyway it's an interesting idea and I hope you continue with it.
| Abinikai chapter 1 . 12/7/2002
good job, but I have to go take a shower, so I can't review more. Please continue!
| heather chapter 1 . 12/5/2002
Blue eyes, how come the blueeyed people get all the attention! wah! oh, well anyway, I thought this was really cute and fluffy... is mysterious savior wearing a mask for a reason or is it just one of those.. "whoops, I forgot to take it off, drama over" cliffies
| Gwenuever chapter 1 . 12/5/2002
Great story...I actually find that it's at a higher standard than the last story. There was just a couple of things i noticed odd in your chapter. One was just a grammatical mistake where you put "on" instead of "one" and then the other was a sentence that seemed like a mistake...perhaps you meant it to be that way but just write me if you want me to show you what it was. Keep up those creative juices!
| cian chapter 1 . 12/4/2002
It's really great! I'm looking forward to reading more!