. I don't think the tears can ever stop either, for me...Great job... Sigh, THREE simple words. Then the girlfriend was strong and understanding, "You don't need to say it back"...But the girl really wanted to, just that she "choked" on her words. And then girlfriend died...Gah, I don't know what to say really-let's just say i'm awed and just speechless-...Well done on portraying and getting the message through about "tomorrow is today"...It was an intense, eye-tearing, full of emotion story. The whole poem was just...beautiful, just magnificent...So great job on this, bravo!

This is so sad, and so intense.. I really loved it. Even though it made me cry. Very well written. xotasha

Just a few things to get out of the way: you used to word "advert" when I think mean "avert." And you forgot the letter "d" in "midst." Also there were just a few grammar/comma areas, mainly one that threw me off. So it just needs fine-tuned as far as grammar and editing.

With that said...I feel heartache for this girl. What I like is how it doesn't focus on the homosexuality, it's not condemning or praising it. That's not the point of the story. The point is that it's a love story, or rather, one that won't be able to be told.

At first I didn't like how the sex of the narrator isn't apparent until around the middle, but now I like it. It doesn't prepare the reader for a lesbian love story, because it's not REALLY a lesbian love story. It's just a story, and it is universal.

Wow. Great stuff. I love it... This is really amazing.

oo that was so sad.. The only thing that stopped me from crying is the thought that she would wake up and it would be a dream and she would wake up and tell her she loved her, and now im crying. 8'(

Wow. Being a lesbian, I cried so hard during this. I truly appreciate you writing this and I want you to know how much your words can mean to people. ::sniffle:: thank you.

Wow... That blew me away. Pretty intense and I love it. times all too short. Live for the moment. Wow.. the plot could be called very cliche but I have to say you pulled it off wonderfully. Very well done. Every word was rippleing with emotion. Well done, brilliant story. sos

This made tears well up in my eyes.. it was sweet.. really good.. Tomorrow is always too late isn't it?

Damn it, girl, you made me cry! MM, and I'm so manly admitting that...

But anyway, off the topic of my manliness, this is a really beautiful story! Such desperation at the end, such a way to capture emotion. I salute you! :o)

-Adam

I cried! I rarely cry for short pieces like this, but you have such a way of packing so much emotion into every word that I just couldn't help myself. Beautifully written, and so... intimate. Thanks for sharing this piece - it's gorgeous.

*sighs* I'd like you to have my new email, I think. E-mail me at ... it'll close out in about a month, but I'll only check it until I get an email from you. Thanks for the kind words, and I hope to hear from you...

.

Very true... you definitely can't depend on tomorrow. Believe me, I know. I love how you wrote this. Raw with emotion, just... amazing. If this is your debut on ffnet, I applaud you. Very very well done.

Wow. Remarkably well written. Moving story, lovely character(s). Great mental banter, if that made any sense. Keep it up.

-kif-

Damn that was good. I really liked it, a very beleivable situation, very beleivable pain too.

My only problem was that this vignette was powerful, and thus should end on a very powerful note. Your last line is good, but some of the lines before it seem to be more powerful, so it's almost like you go dodwnhill to finish it.

But this is a good solid fic. Tell you what, keep writing, and I'll keep reading it. ) you've got a fan.

o why, why did i have to read this? i think i might cry, its too sad...but i always love tragedy. i drink up anguish. anything to get me to feel...so i guess i love this story, and i guess i love you for writing it.

-morgan moonsphinx