Reviews for Manifest Destiny
Obake-chan chapter 1 . 12/26/2002
Nyu, I'm an antitranscendentalist, whatever that means... I got the Lord of the Ring DVD, and can't get it out of my mind...The second stanza reminds me of Boromir picking up the ring. And only that. Shame on me.

Second stanza, third line, assonance! Whippeee! I learned it in Creative Writing, and I'm not even sure I'm right! wAHAHAHAHHAHhahaha.

Yep yep. Itisgooooooood.
Commie chapter 1 . 12/24/2002
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And you were doing so good too, up till you started rhyming again...AAAAH!

Yes, I am one of those don't rhyme kinda people.

And now on to the review!

Manifest Destiny Nice title, but it's correlation to the poem really doesn't take hold till say the second or third stanza.

Also, the conclusion you draw from this poem is good, however it could get convoluted with all the imagery. Whether that's a bad thing or not is up to you.

As well Imagery is always cool with me, so keep it on up. I'm not really sure what "grounded by gravity undetected" is for, but perhaps you refer to forces beyond our control? This is definitely one of those things you know.
Amaris chapter 1 . 12/24/2002
I think this one is my favorite poem of yours so far. I also like the fact that it rhymes, but I like it more for content. I liked the third stanza but then I got to the end and found I liked that one a lot more. I think the last stanza is what makes it my favorite. Because...it's true...no matter what we do while we're alive, nothing we do, nothing we think can allow us to escape death... Sad, isn't it? Depressing to think about in depth... ( On a brigher (if it can be called that) note. You spell grey the British way. Just a random comment. But, yes...this is my favorite because of that last stanza. I usually can't relate that well to your poetry, but to that...I can. Considering I'm an atheist as well and sometimes find myself thinking about that.
frenchfries chapter 1 . 12/22/2002
grey and grace dont rhyme. i liked "But death makes daily house arrests " that was cool. Later days.
peachykeen chapter 1 . 12/15/2002
Tres bien! We're reading The Scarlet Letter right now in English. I feel the Hawthorneness. It rhymes! Yay! Why is it called Manifest Destiny? - I know what the term means, but I don't understand the relevance. There aren't any words to be defined today, bummer rama for you.
A.J.Peart chapter 1 . 12/14/2002
This poem seems much like the last one...or was it the one before that? After a certain point you lose track of what you've written, and I suppose it also applies to people who read that work. You know you've gone too far when you start confusing actual myths with what you've poeticly done to them, and then make an ass of yourself in class when you try talking about it and realize that you've confused your own creativity with someone elses. Then, though, once you've gone too far, there's no turning back.

Now what was I talking about? Oh yeah, it's a lot like one of the previous ones. It's all a matter of never actually becomming the best, always runner up, getting a "consolation prize," and having the world taken out from beneath us by someone or something more keen or better equipped to take on life...which I suppose would then be life itself. I figure I'll just do the ranting form this time, as opposed to my usual line-by-line.

It's like you're saying that life, nature, or a person's life in particular, that it's capable of so much more; ever life has such potential for something so much more, but something is always there to hold it back: Nature and the seasons for your trees, for example, or the delay in the internal clock that causes you to miss the bus in the morning.

Inevitable. That seems like a very important word when it comes to this and the other poem that I was refering to a moment ago. The cycle of nature, the seasons, the weather. You show the rain, being water that cycles from the air to the earth and back again, pulled by gravity to pour down on us. It's inevitable, and though there's no visible reason to explain it, there it is. There's not always going to be an explaination in life, like a coincedence or something. I said to you a few minutes ago that it's sometimes hard to ignore all the coincedences in life, but they're there and there's no denying that they're coincedences. There's just no explaination for why they're there except either God or life or both. I generally choose to ignore them, though, like I said, it's sometimes hard to do so.

And society, trying to be something more, trying to be something they're not...geeks hanging out with jocks, kind of thing. There are such boundaries that makes exansion practically impossible. I think of "Finding Forrester" here, 'cause Jammal, the lead char., is suspected of cheating because he's a basketball player. He's a "jock" so how could he possibly be a "geek" too? something like that. But it happens, there's no explaining it, but there's an exception to nearly every rule that we don't make ourselves. We assume one thing, but eventually something is going to come along to prove us wrong; I suppose it's a fact of life: nothing's certain.

And then, people put their heart and soul into living. They do what their hearts tell them to do, or what their parents tell them to, and they work real hard at it, and for what? Everyone has a story, and everyone has an audience. Life is a stage indeed, and everyone want's their production to last as long as Shakepeares will, so we work our asses off to make some mark in the world. And then death comes to take it all away. And death doesn't discriminate, so the jocks and the geeks will go just the same, regardless of whether they through a fifty yard pass or developed a skincare product that sold millions.

And, of course, there's no way of actually winning at the game of life, despite whether you retire to "Countryside Acres" or "Millionaire Estates." We create a game for ourselves, playing it out with our peers as our opponents, though we don't realize that everyone else has done the same thing, created their own little game to compete. No one has the same partiticular goals with the same obsitcals to get them there, so it is to say that no one game in really the same as the one being played by the competators, so how can there be a winner. Perhaps they won before beginning the game, so we're all winners...but that's too optimistic to possibly be anywhere near sensible. Besides, despite whether winning prior to the game, just starting the game would be cause for degredation within the soul, thus causing the player to lose.

Hmm, it's surprising how easy it is to rant about this sort of thing. Anyway, I'm feeling the early stages of tiredness itching at the middle stages, so I'd better get to work on the next one.
the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 12/13/2002
Huzzah, first to review! *does a little jig*

The last stanza is very chilling. On the whole, I noticed that each stanza's first two lines are sort of a statement, and then the last two lines are a hidden, darker meaning drawn from the first two. It's a very nice set-up. The poem flows right off your tongue (sounds especially nice read aloud, I might add), the imagery (as shown in the first stanza) is, as usual, gorgeous, and to top it all off, it rhymes without sounding awkward!

Very different from your usual poems. This one's all structured and nice and neat...what with the iambic tetrameter and all. However, I commend you on staying close to your usual writing style, even though the structure of the poem is different.

*gives you a chocolate chip cookie for a lemon chip cookie* Yum...:)