|Reviews for Song for the Dying Pessimist|
| Ghost-Kun chapter 1 . 12/26/2002
I haven't touched the computer in about 10 days... And it seems like there's been a virus. I didn't even know. How sad.
Problem of today... Yay!(As in somebody realises it. Not 'I love problems!' Uh-huh...) I don't have analyzing skills... but I do(a so-so %) understand this.
I am seriously thinking of becoming a world-reknowned tyrant(change everybody's mind in a good way. Ya. Like that's possible). Although I don't like tyrantry... Not a word.
| Commie chapter 1 . 12/24/2002
EEEW RHYME! (yes yes, I had to say it again)
Anyways, that was nice...Not much to talk about.
Good work, but the last stanza seems a little unfinished.
| Amaris chapter 1 . 12/24/2002
I liked the other ones more for some reason. This is still good though. I liked the last stanza the most. It has the same number of syllables and it rhymes too. Good job! hehe hey...stupid me. I just realized other thatn the first stanza they all rhyme. And sort of scan too. Practice a bit on your meter, I'm sure you'll improve with the amount of time you put into your poetry. Good job.
| frenchfries chapter 1 . 12/22/2002
sorry it took so long to review! i like this poem. The "the present comes to claim its full receipt." is cool i like the wording. even though i dont understand ur poems i still like them.
| peachykeen chapter 1 . 12/15/2002
I am just so confused. I like the last couplet - it made sense to me. Again, no words to be defined, but I'm just so confused. How does it all fit together? Is it just really abstract, or am I retard. HELP ME.
| the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 12/15/2002
A sonnet! A sonnet! *jumps up and down in glee* And lemon chip cookies on top of that! It really *must* be Christmas!
The last couplet sums up the poem very nicely. Ooh dear, must dash, I'll continue this later. Ta!
| A.J.Peart chapter 1 . 12/14/2002
Hehe, despite you're note at the top, I'm going to contest your statement. I don't think that it's that the world hasn't *improved* that would appease a dying pessimist. I think it's that the world hasn't *changed,* in general. I mean, I am pessimistic, and when I die if I'm told that my passing will have litterally no affect on the world, that would be a good thing. In other words, I think you're half right. Improved or been worsened would be the whole of it.
This seems very much like the last couple; perhaps it's a running theme. I know I've gotten them, especially in that most of my poetry is, in fact, almost entirely about me and the feelings revolving around my seemiungly perpetual sadness. It's healthy, I suppose, to find so many ways to express the same thing, then bounce them off each other. Also, sometimes one is better than the next, so you find better ways of expressing things as you go until you've got a perfected product...now I'm just ranting about nothing in particular, and since I'm doing that I'm guessing that my mind isn't in the right port right now. For that reason, I suppose it would be best for me to hurry this up and then hit the hay.
Yeah, I think I summed this all up almost entirely in the last review, though because this is a different poem there are some differences that I should probably address.
"No, I'm Sparticus!"
"No, *I'm* Sparticus!"
Now, if I'm not mistaken, the Spartans were simple people, so to speak. They lived simple lives. Therefore, we live simple lives too, or at least try too. The relationship between children and ourselves is great, 'cause children live simpler lives, like I was saying about Charlie Brown. And again, games played. Children are the best game players, becoming immersed in a fantasy world so easily. It's a shame we can't do that anymore, not the same way at least.
Praise, reflects on what I was saying in the last review about striving to succeed. How do we know we've succeeded unless someone praises us for it? This pursuit will destroy us in the end, in "the lonely chamber of deceit." People becoming slaves to 'reality' is what society is, a conformed group of people living out lives that are confined by the rules that our governments have constricted us too. There are always ethics, personal rules and the knowledge of knowing right from wrong, but we don't necessarily live that way, do we? We live for the game, nothing more, save love.
The end justifies the means; Machiavelli, I do believe. And the end killing the means, that's a neat way of picturing the whole death thing making all of life seem worthless and meaningless. I like it, in fact. Aged people (fermented grapes), aged and learnéd people who know about life, have experience with living, but they're not worth what they should be because the "rules of life" (treaties) that have been developed by society (neurons) have made them so. It's all part of how society has developed through time to the modern sort of patheticness that we deem life. It's also a very pessimistic view of it all, which fits perfectly.
And yes, there are merging societies as young and old come together as more equals. But in so, not that it's a bad thing, the aged are maybe treated as less than they are. People comming together, being grouped together, labels them and causes society to determine their future. Therefore, by hanging out with certain groups of people detrermines how you will be placed in society, and in many ways it's something that cannot be controlled. But then...
Okay, I think that's enough ranting. I suppose I could go on, but I'm not sure where I'd be going with it, and I am tired. I didn't want to be up this late, but here I am so what's done is done. I'll just call it quits here and be merrily on my way to slumberland, where you can always by fresh cut wood from crooked snakes!
Good stuff, once more, though at times it seemed like the meter itself was off. Rhythm's fine, and so might the meter, since I know it's flexible, but...oh, forget it. I can't even remember where it was that I noticed this. It might not have even been this poem...maybe even one of my own that I'm confusing with... oh well, soooooo sleeeeeeepy ppppppfa faaaaaaaaaaaaa...,faf...oops, my fingers fell asleep at the keyboard. I guess that means it's time to go -
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/13/2002
without it we would not play at these games
| Glass November chapter 1 . 12/13/2002
First off, the title is what drew me here. It's wonderful - almost kind of ironic, because in actuality it wouldn't happen...Anyway, it was wonderful, and very fitting. And now onto the poem...
I'm not sure what I really can say other than that it's great...and I'm sure you'd like more specifics, so here goes. I like the first part about Spartan values as the reason that we "play at these games." It's so very masochistic and true :) The second stanza was fitting...often my pessimistic view of the world.
The last stanza is kind of a summary of the poem...I'm sure you already know this, but I don't know. I think that it's the perfect finishing touch, simple and eloquent.
BTW, thanks for all of the reviews...it's nice to be welcomed back!