Ha ha ha! That was a good April fool's day joke! I'm glad your not discontinuing your story! It's too good to do that!

I knew it was an April Fools joke as soon as I got to the second line of your authors note. Muahahaha. I'm just glad you're still continuing this, though.

I couldn't do any pranks (well, I did, but unfortunately no one fell for it as I had thought they would)nor did I get pranked but ah whatever.

Hope you had a safe April Fools Day!

gulistanlik

you, missy, suck. that was a cruel, cruel joke. you authors, always playing your readers like little puppets.

Oh My Gosh.

THIS IS AWESOME! WITH A CAPITAL A!

YOU HAVE TO UPDATE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!

PLEASE!

you cant just stop! keep going plz!

it's good can't wait to read more in the future, keep up the good work, you're not dropping the story right?

*points and laughs at James*

Dude, hilarious last section. He's all like "Damn it! Make it stop!" lawlercaust

Wow...This is a brilliant story, spent the last few hours reading it. I hope you can write another chapter, just to let me know what happens. :D It's a brilliant story!

I really like your story and hope that you post another chapter soon.

A.

Brilliant, brilliant story. Breath of fresh air in a genre written out. You've managed to take the cliche and turn it into something new and creative, and I applaud you for that. I love the characters, love the story, and will be waiting with baited breath for the next chapter.

Are you kidding? This is ridiculous. I have been loyally reading and the lovely button ushering me to the next chapter is now gone.

I absolutely love this story. It's out there but it's really good. Frankly, I'm a bit shocked that I like it this much because it isn't exactly my genre and also it is kind of repetitive, like oh man, when is she ever going to stay out of trouble? But I still love it. Every time she gets in trouble there is another twist to make sure that it stays fresh. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more.

I love your writing style.

Your ability to create charaters is amazing. Never have I forgotten a character because they are each so distinct yet they seem human.

I love that I can read a chapter and be entranced by it and then several chapters later I find a deeper meaning to a conversation or event. I don't know how you work it in like that but it is terrific.

Also, I love how it is predictable but not all at the same time. Like I could guess the gist of it but then I realize it has taken some new twist and changed the situation.

I love the situation you have set up in this last chapter and I can't wait to see how it plays out. I especially like that Zach still shot. That made it seem more real although James is starting to appear more and more invincable each chapter. Not like I'm looking for him to die or anything, he just always seem to escape all danger.

Aside from all of this, I think my favorite section of the story was when the men stormed Peter's house. I loved how you portrayed everything and I loved the dialouge there. Plus, right when I thought she was finally safe (yeah right, what was I thinking?) Max showed up out of nowhere. I also liked how she managed to beat him with a toilet and soap. It brought in a little comical factor and I liked how James thought she had not been the one to bring him down.

Basically, this is amazing and I hope you update soon.

So far I am loving this story. It is different yet cliche. I love the concept and I love the twists and turns that keep coming. I must say though, this last paragraph, especially the final sentence, was incredibly powerful. It capped off everything in a way that was amazing. I found myself rereading the end as it was such a strong ending.

Thank You! I love this story! Update Soon!

The only thing I’d comment on is lack of detail. You jump around with the action, but it seems rushed without any descriptions. Her apartment is never described… and she goes from talking about what she won’t miss on summer break to her apartment exploding in four paragraphs, roughly 200 words.

My advice? Describe her possessions inside the apartment. You jump from her apartment exploding, to pain in her leg, to worrying about everything she owned exploding. There’s no real transition in there. What, exactly, has she just lost? And if she’s in so much pain, why don’t you describe it? Is her leg broken? Or just sprained?

Same for everything else. Detail will help slow down the pace of this chapter, and make it easier to read.

That’s simply my advice, so if you don’t want to listen to me, that’s fine. You’re the author, and this is your story.

~Dreamless~