|Reviews for Deceitful|
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/29/2017
Love love love it. I want moreee. Never mind the 4 reviews or more or less. We WANT it. If you have free time
| FLIPPER66 chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
so far to me it seems interesting and has possibilities for twisting story plots. i'm interested in the next few chappys to come tofind out whats going to happen. it be really interesting if somehow because of this situation more girls start paying him more interest . the reason i say that by your discriptions he sounds like he's turning into a loner (badboy tpye) with some mystery that girls seem to love. i don't know if that is the direction you were leaning in but it fits the scenario type .
| Jenna chapter 1 . 5/9/2003
Nice story. Good descriptions. Will you update?
| A Random Reader chapter 1 . 1/28/2003
Um...it was kind of cut off at the end like there should have been more. It should have been rounded out a little better. Other then that though it was fairly good. Maybe a little more discription...You drew out the pictures of Evan and Eli well, but like at the beginnings, you could have had something more like:
"He had caught the two of them making out rather animalisticly in his brand new navey blue, leather inteior lancer, after the-." you understand?
Or when you first talk about Grace you could discribe her a little bit like:
"-he had caught his girlfriend, Grace Spencer, a firey redhead of a girl with bright green eyes, freckles, and a set of braces-" or something like that, whatever... Otherwise we all have to make up in our own minds what she looks like, and then if you discribe her later, oh! We don't know.
Other then that though, it was pretty good... Work on the grammer perhaps.