Reviews for Warsaw Was Raw
JoyfullyStruggling chapter 1 . 12/18/2004
beautiful. I'm learning about the industrial revolution in social studies right now.
Made in U.S.A chapter 1 . 11/22/2004
This is truly one of the most beautiful pieces i have ever read anywhere. So well written and hypnotizing. I adore it and everything you write. Please keep writing. You're in my favorites :D
kezya chapter 1 . 4/5/2003
I just love this poem. it was possibly the best thing I've ever read on fpnet. I'm adding you to my fav lists now.
peachykeen chapter 1 . 2/21/2003
I SO saw the palindrome coming - I was proud

1st stanza: define: blitzkrieg - I think it should be chicken dance, fyi

2nd stanza: when reading this, I see the political cartoon about the standard oil company, that looks like an octopus - I feel like "deep-fathom five" is important, but I don't understand the relevancy - I really like the last two lines - the 2nd to last "watery grip" seems contradictory, but the last line clariffies everything - define: Kraken, fathom

3rd stanza: I really like the word chartreuse - it's spelled really funnily, but I don't doubt it's correct - this is a good stanza - I like the wording, and the ways it's broken up works really well - the element references make me feel smart

4th stanza: there's a whole lot going on here that's all WAY over my head - kielbasa makes me think of Casablanca - what's Warsaw in 1940 - what happened, and why don't I know? oh wait, my teacher is a joke and we might get that far in the book - you'd better tell me, missy - I like the "gasesous sunlight" it puts a great picture in my head - define: kielbasa

5th stanza: I SO know what the Lock Ness is, but I'm confused in this context, explain, please

6th stanza: this stanza screams out Gilded Age to me - factory, bribes lies, asphalt, whores - it's all there

7th stanza: this one is confusing to me - I still feel the Gilded Age with the labor union rights, I'm not feeling the acid rain - is it there to tie into the elements and science stuff towards the beginning?

8th stanza: the folklore makes me think of the immigrants during the Gilded Age - can you tell what's been on my mind lately? - nice recalling the carbon - I love this line "abolish fingernail dirt" - it's so great in that it's a great visual and it's a great metaphor - tres bien - totalitarian hygiene - also very nice - I really like how you worked the title into the end AND it works and makes sense - you're on fire, girlfriend!

overall: I like this one a lot. It's got a lot happening - a lot that shouldn't work together, but does - you're a pro! tell me the truth - is it or is it not about the Gilded Age?
Obake-chan chapter 1 . 1/27/2003
(Wasn't a palindrome something that you can read from the front or the back in the same way?) Six is a six is a six is a six is. Yah yah! I liked how you used the language here. 'reach deep-fathom five.'

It reminded me of the holocaust for some reason. Me imagination gone wild!

Ooohh! Mr. Miller will get more poems and stories to submit to the literary magazine from the Creative Writing class! So I have one! Some random stuff with words for each letter in the alphabet!
paradoxical goddess chapter 1 . 1/26/2003
so quaint! so cute! so...good! :)
Black Tangled Heart chapter 1 . 1/26/2003
wow.

almost toxic, if i might say. it has a hard, emotionless feel that fits like puzzle pieces. everything flows very nicely.
Amaris chapter 1 . 1/24/2003
Okay...this will be my second/last review today...obviously (as you know) my reviews are a bit strange for reasons you know... anyway...i liked the part where it says "drink enough...young again" and also "we'll unite...from diamond" sorry bout my crummy reviews, i'll do better next time.
Namir Swiftpaw chapter 1 . 1/24/2003
...Wow.

...Just...goddamn. o_O;

Namir Swiftpaw
lemoncane chapter 1 . 1/24/2003
bon! j'aime! you know your even better than pushkin!( can you tell i like the exclamation marks)!
Rose of Dresden chapter 1 . 1/24/2003
ah. ah, this is really great, it's so well done, and i completely identify with it (for a lot of reasons i won't bore you with). i always love finding talented authors like you admist the general crap of this site. very nicely done. i love the european imagery.

wonderful!
the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 1/23/2003
Bah, I love it! The palindrome was clever; I would've never seen it had you not pointed it out in the author's note in the beginning (I'm a slow one). The last stanza is gorgeous and frightening.

It's always nice when school inspires poetry, especially history class (which I find deathly boring; I entertain myself by taking notes in a circle, or a star, or a triangle, creeping all around the paper; also by doodling little pictures around the holes on the side).

Um...yes. I'm not weird, really. *grin*

Keep writing! Peace
xurbandecayx chapter 1 . 1/23/2003
Amazing! I really love this, the metaphors and lyrical prose in this are fantastic... Definitley one for the faves! Beautiful words, beautiful words...