Reviews for Damien and Laura
sheerWonder chapter 9 . 2/4/2005
it just gets better and better! its really good, with a well written plot. a few things to keep in mind, though.

1)the story seems a bit rushed. a few things can be elaborated. this chap could have been elaborated more before they made up.

2)more descriptive language, ya'know, setting the scene, portraying emotion, etc etc

just a few points to make the story from great to excellent! update quickly!
sheerWonder chapter 3 . 1/26/2005
This is an excellent story! i love it! i'll review the other chaps soon, k? keep updating (please!)
Zoey7 chapter 1 . 7/12/2004
First of all, this is a very good story. However you have some major puncuation errors throughout the story. You wrote, "Damien, have you ever heard of an umbrella" There should have been a question mark after 'umbrella'. Then, "Oh well" Lauren replied. See, you should at least put a comma after 'well' or even a period. So my only problems with this story were its puncuation. Over all, great story!
DKiplan chapter 9 . 6/25/2004
Interesting story. I think I like Shadow Stalker a bit better though. Still this story is interesting. I would like to see where you're going with it.
chibichan366 chapter 1 . 5/19/2004
wow, i really like it.
damien seem to be a very rebellious teenager.
the dialogues make it very interesting to read.
chibichan366
NightAngel117 chapter 1 . 5/11/2004
I like it, and I think its so cute how they are friends even though they are so different. I'm sorry I coul;dn't read the whole thing, but I'll try to come back and read the rest later.
It was overall a very good story. :)
NA117
L. Conks chapter 9 . 4/27/2004
She forgives too quickly. Oh ya, sorry I'm up here! I couldn't help reading ahead! This ALWAYS happens to me. But I had to do it. Can you seriously blame me? Alright, fine, you can. But I needed to find out... Anyways, as I was saying. Laura forgives people way to quickly. And is Damien REALLY faking it? It'd be cool to find out that he wasn't lying to Aghorn and them, but HER. Keep updating, and I'll find some time to read the stuff I skipped... later. Sorry again! -.-
L. Conks chapter 3 . 4/27/2004
Laura is Jamaican? Cool! Anywayz, same question I asked...last time. o
L. Conks chapter 2 . 4/27/2004
I like Sarah. She's cool. Anywayz, wehn we get back to Laura... I wuz just wondering...is there gonna be any mushiness? I know I sound wierd, but will there? I just think they seem to be...well, you know. Close. Anyways, I think Dimitri sucks so there!
L. Conks chapter 1 . 4/26/2004
hi hi hi hi hi hi hi! thanx 4 bein da 1st 2 review Until Today! anywayz, i think ur story rox! Damien's cool... u're good with character developing. but 1 thing i dont get: hiz dad told him 2 make eye contact with Laura, and then he tellz him not 2 associate with her. and if the people hate him, y would they love him? if i really hated the kid, if he ran away i wouldnt bother goin after him. and if i did, the only explanation would be "if i'm goin 2 hell, i'm gonna drag him down with me!" so... but dont listen 2 my silly commetz, itz ur style, not mine! ;-)
NON-M chapter 3 . 4/10/2004
This story is really good. Your style is mature and sophisticated. I really like this story so far. You seem to be a very skilled writer.
An Inside Joke chapter 9 . 3/28/2004
Laura accepted his story pretty quickly.
An Inside Joke chapter 7 . 3/28/2004
Cool chapter. The story seems really fast paced, maybe slow it down a little.
An Inside Joke chapter 4 . 3/28/2004
It seems a little far fetched that they would be talking about it in a place where anyone could overhear, and everyone just seems to take Damein's claims at face value. Other than that, though, your story is pretty interesting.
The Dark Enchantress chapter 9 . 7/8/2003
Please update this story. It's good.
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