Reviews for Of Tetonya
FantasiaFirst chapter 7 . 1/3/2004
Hi, good going. This chapter defintely helped clear up the relationship between Nathan and Keith.
Still, I don't understand whY Tanika has to be bought. COuldn't they just find someone else? Nothing would be lost if they let her go. CEratinly not as much as they have to fork out for her.
Oh yeah, is there a king in all this? OR is the Lord High Guard the highest in postion?
Keep writing!
FantasiaFirst
Mitchelmoo chapter 7 . 1/2/2004
Hey! I'm glad your writing again! I can't wait to see where you take this story. This chapter was a little slow, but I understand that you wanted to lay down some history. Great job overall and please get the next chapter out quickly. I can't wait to read it!
IXOYE
Shanachie chapter 7 . 12/31/2003
The diplomatic niceties tend to drag, but otherwise, nice work. Still wondering what's going to happen...
Wouldn't you like to know Mwuahahaha chapter 7 . 12/29/2003
Yes, I know these were only typos, but... You put 'fell' instead of 'feel.' You also wrote 'every' instead of 'ever.' You left out 'likely' in one of your sentences. You put 'even' instead of 'event.' Sorry, just put those to be annoying!
I hated how Lord Seth always got dissed. And I think he should be... less babyish. He's a bit too tempermental, you know. Even I'm not that irritating.
I also thought Keith was a bit irritating, but you've known that I think that since you started telling me about your story. One reason might be because I hate the name Keith, but that's beside the point. He's too secretive. I hated how he thought he was 'all that' about the 'YOU WOULD BE HANGED IF YOU DID WHAT I WOULD DO' part.
But he's subtle, as well. Characters that have no subtlty annoy me... hm, like Seth, but he doesn't annoy me. Anyway, he did a very nice job of helping Seth out with the little peasant situation.
I don't like it too much when he does everything perfectly. He thinks he hides his surprise well. He helps well. Keith does everything well, except for the little situation with Tanika. However, for some reason, I don't think it was made to be a big enough blunder. From my perspective, it seems like Keith didn't really feel his mistake. Sure, it's nice of him to want to make sure the camp is alright, but that doesn't really seem to help his situation.
If that didn't make sense, I'm terribly sorry. Told you I'm not good at reviewing!
Luv ya lots, sista!
Pretty Barn Owl chapter 7 . 12/29/2003
Wonderful! I love your story. And I liked how Lord Seth said, "Obey me!" It's cliche, but it fits his character and I found it quite entertaining. -
This chapter cemented a lot of information I wasn't quite sure about, so thanks. I understand things better, but I can't point to anything specifically that helped. Sorry.
You know, I was really in the mood to read your story. I didn't know it, but when I saw that you'd updated, I was really happy! Thanks!
And it snowed last night! I woke up and the world was white! *happyhappy* It NEVER snows here.. YAY!
Update soon, plz!
natanna chapter 1 . 10/5/2003
:) Nice.

Was thinking, I'm having a little trouble keeping track of Naton's plans even while reading it. Will it seem more plausible for Ortac & his men to be more confused and have more questions?

p/s nothing to do with the story, but I liked Wheel of Time too!
Pretty Barn Owl chapter 6 . 8/22/2003
Wonderful! WON-derful! I love this story. You have a gift and I'm glad you make the effort to share! -
La Bruja de Escritura chapter 6 . 8/9/2003
OOh, Keith had some good thoughts there at the beginning. You've just told me that he really CAN think, but I thought that he was doing a fine job in this chapter. I'll be waiting to see how much thinking he does in the next chapter.

I like your style, although some things (which I've already told you about) I don't agree with. It's a very cool style, though, except for the things that I don't like that much.

I dunno what else to say. Sorry I'm not of much help.
La Bruja de Escritura chapter 5 . 8/9/2003
Somewhat short? Whateva! It was a lovely chapter and very nice and long. I know what's going on and all, so the questions and answers weren't really relevant for me. Anyway, this is turning out to be a very dumb review.

They are so mean to Tanika! And I don't like how Keith lost his cool and shouted that Tanika must come with him. I love haughty, unruffled characters.

I've already told you my other suggestions, which you didn't listen to. *pouts* But aside from my other suggestions, I don't think I have anything else to say.
La Bruja de Escritura chapter 4 . 8/9/2003
Ugh, I really, really hate the name Keith. Bad memories, you know. The Keith that both you and I know ain't very pretty, and that is how I picture your Keith every time I read his name.

As for between Tanika and Keith, I think they definitely need to get some action goin' on. I dunno, maybe Keith should give her a great big kiss! Just kidding, everyone! No, but for real, I don't like the way Tanika is falling for Keith. Not that she's exactly fallen for him yet, but anyway...

Good job on this chapter!
La Bruja de Escritura chapter 3 . 8/9/2003
I think that your description of her "secret" was awesome! It was very good, and realistic, of course. Anyway, when I read it, it gave me the chills. OOh, awesome! Absolutely excellent description!

Oh, and I do read your story, even though I've just barely taken the time to review it. You should know that I love reading it and hearing about it (especially about Seth!) and I think that you're doing a very cool job of it. In short, I know that I'm not counted among your "great readers," but all the same, I hope that you appreciate my somewhat sad, sorry excuses for reviews.
La Bruja de Escritura chapter 2 . 8/9/2003
I absolutely LOVED Musique's story! It was very touching, and it even made me cry. That is a very good sign that it was realistic. I feel so bad for poor little Brooklyn, and I like her story, although I think that she may not be a very relevant character as of yet.
La Bruja de Escritura chapter 1 . 8/9/2003
Okey dokey, people! To everyone who hasn't got any reviews from me in like 6 months, please believe that it isn't because I don't like your story. It's just that I haven't been on this site for ages, and I'm not sure that I'll continue being a member. Oh, and Nichole Sedai is, after all, my big sis, and she has spent countless hours helping me improve my story, so I think it only fair to return the favor, although I don't believe that I'll prove myself as useful as she proved herself.

I love what you're doing with the names! Very cool technique, although I still don't Keith.

I have a very nice understanding of your world, only that may be because you have shared and explained everyone in your world to me. I love all the prejudice that's going on. Awesome!

However, I really don't like the way that you portrayed the Raccrans. Maybe it's just me, but I thought that they came off as very un-intelligent. Even though they aren't nearly as brilliant as the Tetonyans, I don't think that they are THAT dim.
Nuha chapter 2 . 8/4/2003
well, im sleepy. i acnt review now. Im going on vacaton tomaorro. i dont know wat to do. I guess il review u after i come back. soryy!
Nuha chapter 1 . 8/4/2003
This is very nice! I really like the concept! Ahem, now for your questions...

Do you feel that you have a basic understanding of the world?

Yes, i do actually. It greatly resembles the erly Maccan Muslims plight, so i understand are some basic differences of course, but waht can i say...nothing.

With whom did you identify most: the Tetonya, or the Raccra; Naton, Rikord, Norbook, or Ortac (maybe this question is a little premature)?

We-ell. yes the question is premature. I really didn't get a grasp of thier personalities yet, but i think i relete to ortac the most. he just wants something resembling equality between the Tetonya and the raccra.I can understand Naton, though. He reminds me of the demons that run this country...

Do you think this could happen (within the realm of fantasy)?

HELLO! this is fantasy. Not all of it has to do with Faeries. a little politics is good once in while.

Are the characters plausible?Are they consistent?

Yep, most definetly!

Are there any technicalities of writing that need work? Is there anything that confuses you? Did you have any questions as you read?

Nope, nope, nope

What was your favorite part of the writing (either in the storyline, or in the writing itself)?

My favorite part? I'd have to say the concept. It soo fully rounded.

What was your least favorite part?

i dont have one. Tsk.

What can I change to make it better?

Its too earkly in the fic, i dont know yet, but when i doo, ill tell u, k?

Lool. Ill b reviewing every chapter, k?

bye, for now!
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