|Reviews for The Thaken Line|
| brown eyes 77 chapter 5 . 8/18/2005
I like, its kinda confusing though. A teeny little bit. *smile brightly* but I still liked it, update soon k?
| Synparity chapter 5 . 2/16/2003
Very nice story - I'm very interesting in reading more. In fact, it would be a shame not to. Something missing. The characters are there, but there isn't any real idea of who they are - how they react to things, what motivates them. Hard to explain. I hope you understand what I mean. Also, description wise, a bit more could be added - their surroundings, weather, etc. Plot wise - things seem to only be starting out - there is no real action, whatever that may be, although I'm assuming something to do with the priests. I'd get started sometime soon on that, now that you've built the characters up - more char. development can be done through the plot. Overall, you've done very well. Congrats!
| SilverDragoness chapter 5 . 2/15/2003
The overall story's really quite good. Honestly. The thing that's missing, however. it's hard to relate with your characters so far. I have yet to find any real flaws in them. The twins shouldn't just accept punishment as though it doesn't matter. Make at least one of them pout. In other words, make them more human. And I'm curious about the whole 'when I was older' bit. I think I figured I out, but I'm not entirely sure, so you may want to think about clarifying that a bit more.
| Share Bear chapter 4 . 2/8/2003
i like this story and im a tuff one to please. your right it is missing something but its still good. maybe the Father of the twins or go more into depth on the twins personalities...i dont know im an awful writer(thats why none of my incomplete stories are on here) but i do love to read. well good luck with your life and please continue this story...pretty please with fudge and whip cream and a chocolate covered strawberry on top...hehehehehe
| DarkSorceress chapter 1 . 2/8/2003
Its very good, very well written. keep writing, I shall look out for updates