Reviews for Empty Dreams, Empty Life
Rosethorn chapter 7 . 5/31/2003
Some POV changes without warning which can confuse people. Other then that, dark and depressing. I'm just going to pretend you're not reading this over my shoulder. Um. Yes, dark and depressing.
Rosethorn chapter 4 . 5/31/2003
Okay, it appears to be working this time. Er. Disturbing chapter. Ravenna is beginning to worry me. You like people running around and chopping other people up, don't you?
gary chapter 6 . 3/17/2003
The story is really good; you describe locations and characters really well using metaphors to give a clear image. The plot is very interesting and it managed to hold my attention whilst reading (I have a really short attention span…).

Be sure and tell me when you put up a new chapter.

PS. Thanks for reading Baltazaar’s lair; a new chapter is up now.
Gold Dragon of Egypt too lazy to log in chapter 6 . 3/10/2003
My mind is killing me. I've spent WAY too much time working on chapters and updating stories and what now I'm too tired to even bother logging in, lol. Anyway, I'm reviewing this as I read it. (Don't ask me why. Like I said, I'm feeling really lazy right now. Just expect a really long review.I'm too lazy to compress my thoughts into a few sentences. _~)

First off.I know you said changed Octavius' name to Justinian because you felt like it, and I thank you for telling us (lol, it would've been a mess if you hadn't), but just to let you know, sometimes doing that gets a little confusing, especially if the readers are too lazy (lol) to read the author's note. (No, don't worry, I'm not THAT lazy!)

*sigh* I kind of liked Octavius' name.I thought it fit him, for some reason. (I wonder if it has to do with the though I don't know what it means.) But then, who am I to argue with the author? You can do whatever you want and I am not in the position to comment. *waves claw absently* Alas, the life of being a reader.

Grammatical used 'their' when you really meant 'they're' as in 'they are'. Second paragraph. Run-on sentence paragraph three; you should have at least a semi-colon after 'Darren lied'. Run-ons are okay during speech or thought, because it kind do I put this? Adds on to the character, if you know what I mean. (When Harry and Ron first meet Hermione comes to mind.) But when you're in third person (Ag! I feel like I'm using all the wrong , I need to get some sleep! -_-) the run-ons are a no-no; they don't know.

M. *closes eyes* Nice, vivid picture are painted in my mind when I read your descriptions. Very nice; you have good imagery.

Whoops! Another grammatical error. you used 'your' when you meant 'you're', as in 'you are'. (To think I, in such an exhausted state, still have the energy to find errors. Oh brother, isn't this frustrating?)

Oh, and thank you ever so much for the mini-spoiler. (Although I could have guessed she was what a sec! Why am I bragging? Bad dragon, bad dragon! *fire shoots out of nose* O_o Oh-oh, I HATE when that happens!)
Gold Dragon of Egypt chapter 5 . 2/26/2003
Yea, you posted up the 5th chapter! I would say it's really good, only I'd be repeating what I said last time (and that gets annoying, I know), so I'll just say I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

Oh, and Darren sometimes acts like an idiot.
Mirrorwind chapter 5 . 2/25/2003
Good story so far. I was a little confused at the beginning, but then, I'm not very smart.

I like the way you describe everything, you have a nice writing I don't have anything more constructive to say. I'm low on Hot Tamales right now. Anyway, this is really good!
Saturn Maiden chapter 5 . 2/25/2003
Battle chapter! Battle chapter! Needs a battle chapter. Okay, now enough with my cheerleading, I love the way you show the oppositeness of Darren and Octavius. It's cool, cause it creates both siblingish conflict and makes them a good team at the same time. okay, I'm reading into this too much. I just wanted to say that this chapter rocked, okay.
Goddess of Darkness1 chapter 5 . 2/25/2003
Hey! That was a really good story, I can't wait for the battle chappie. Be sure and include LOTS of gory details*evil laughter*

Goddess of Darkness *have a great day*
Gold Dragon of Egypt chapter 4 . 2/23/2003
What the-? Am I so blind that I never noticed this had been updated? Or maybe it's because I haven't been as loyal with checking stuff out on fpn as I have with stuff on ffn. (Bad dragon!)

What's this about Ravenna not accepting her problems? She's the wind mage, right? Is she not fond of that idea? (To tell you the truth, were I human and suddenly ended up in a different world, I wouldn't be too pleased with anything, much less being a mage. But that's if I were human.)

Kenan's perverted words scare my Shadows, I hope you know that. (They don't scare me. I'm a dragon. I can beat the living crap out of that man if I put my mind to it.)

I like your choice of switching views and points in time. It makes the reader think. *grins* Yeah, it gets confusing at times, but rereading isn't that too difficult a task, now is it? *winks* I guess my point is that particular style is very unique, and it's good you have control over it. I sure wish I could do that as easily. (Ha! It'd only get ME confused, let alone my readers.)
Saturn Maiden chapter 4 . 2/21/2003
Whoa, again I must say that I'm absolutely in love with this story. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter. Oh! And would you mind if I drew some art for this? I've gots me some ideas from this story.
CrimsonSoulTears chapter 4 . 2/20/2003
all today my two friends were having a 'battle' the said all the cool and magic type moves they were doing, constantly. Like setting each other on fire and throwing each other out of windows and so on. Anyway, moving on from that (triggered by the twins running round chopping up evil people) This is a great chapter, and thankyou for letting me use your first chapter so much!
Gold Dragon of Egypt too lazy to sign in chapter 3 . 2/19/2003
Hey! Where's the rest of this, huh? You've got to continue this, girl, it's really good. _~ And sorry I couldn't finish my review yesterday, but like I said, I was being chased by older dragons who were looking forward to singing my scales. (I think you know what I mean when I say "the older dragons." _~)

Ugh.I could keep going on and on for decades about how hooked I am to this story, but that would only get on your nerves. And so I'll end with DON'T FORGET TO UPDATE! (Or my Shadows will kill you-mercilessly. And no, that's not a real threat. _)
Saturn Maiden chapter 3 . 2/19/2003
Whoa, I gotta find out more about what happens, I do think that you're focusing a lot of Ravenna, but she's supposed to be the main character, right? Then you should keep focusing on her. I'm extremely into these kind of "Normal kid gets thrown into fantasy world" type stories. So I can't wait to seem ore of this.
CrimsonSoulTears chapter 3 . 2/19/2003
This is a really amazing story. Especially the first chapter. I loved the way you told that. I'm going on a writing course in a week. I was wondering if I could take a copy of the first chapter and use it for inspiration. Email me, or review one of my songs. And thanks for the review on Free Pass.
Gold Dragon of Egypt chapter 2 . 2/18/2003
*shudders* Those last lines. *continues shuddering* Whoa! I'm hooked. I would love to say more but-YA! *shrieks and runs away from snapping older dragons threatening to throw Gold Dragon in the bathtub* YA!
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