Reviews for The Legend of Myrran
OneEyeSeesAll chapter 1 . 5/4/2010
Hey, don't know if you know this, but Americans don't have an accent unless you're from somewhere like New York. But, I absolutely love the story, although, I wish that Jack would of try to escape and run, and not be so smart.
Matt chapter 22 . 6/18/2007
Okay, I've finally decided to write the full review. Sorry it's taken so long; I don't really have an excuse except that I'm lazy. Overall, I think it's a very good story and you've done a very good job with it. One thing I didn't like was that we never learn what powers Ryan had. It's not all that important to the storyline, but my curious nature still wonders...

Also, when I first started this I was worried about you being able to pull off an Austrailian main character, but as far as I can tell you've done a good job with it. Though, like I said before, I may not be the best judge of that since I'm not Australian. I almost was, but almost isn't close enough. I don't think I could do it half as good as you have, though.

Well, I'm not exactly sure what you want to know, but I'm pretty sure my notes will answer any questions you may have. If they don't, feel free to ask. I'll e-mail them to you; they're mostly my thoughts and reactions to some of the events of each chapter. If you want to know where you should go with it from here, then I can't really help you. It's your story, and you need to be the one to finish it, not me. But I will definitely continue reading, and I hope to see more chapters soon!

P.S.- If you want to bounce ideas off of me, I'd be happy to help.
Matt chapter 2 . 5/9/2007
OK, so I think I've changed my mind... I'm just going to do one long review at the end of the story instead of by chapter. Sorry, I'm just a little too lazy to do 22 reviews. I'll go ahead and review this chapter now, but I won't for the others :)

This was a very good chapter! I like the suspenseful ending, and the cat-creature is really cool! Very creative. There were a few gramatical errors, but not too bad. They're really easy to correct. Jack seemed a bit introverted in this chapter, and I think I would be too if I were in his position (then again, I am an introvert, so I would probably be that way no matter what situation I was in). I saw a bit of myself in Jack in this chapter, which I think is a good thing because I believe the audience should be able to relate to the characters in some way. I even do the twig breaking thing from time to time! Very good job, Elizabeth! I look forward to reading the rest!
Matt chapter 1 . 5/5/2007
Hey! Well, I finally started reading The Legend of Myrran like you asked! Told you I'd get to it eventually...

OK, this is a pretty long story, so I'll give a critique for each chapter as I read them. That'll be OK, right? I really liked this first chapter! The characters seem pretty interesting, and I definitely see the influences behind some of them. Speaking of which, Anne seems strangely familiar... :)

The only problem I see at the moment is trying to pull off an Austrailian main character when you aren't Austrailian. I think you've done a good job with it so far, but I'm not sure if this will hold true throughout the rest of the story. Then again, I may not be a good critic of this since I'm not Austrailian either!

In all, I think this chapter is really good and I look forward to reading the next one! Good job!
Lazy Suzanne chapter 22 . 9/14/2006
Get it? Lazy Susan? Oh, never mind.

Whee! Dragons! Large ferocious dragons! and swimming in cold water. . No, I don't envy Jack. And human torches! Hey, that out to be warm, Jack, go stand next to her!

You had several spacing problems, very distracting, and the occasional grammatical error. Wow, what an action-filled, fast-paced chapter!

I'm not exactly sure what you did this time, but I must say this is the best-written chapter of the story so far. You remembered everyone-they all had a line and a part to act. You put the reader into the world and the moment very convincingly. Good job! Remind me to bake you cookies next time you're due home; you deserve a reward! Keep improving, dearest.
Suzy-Q Who is far too lazy to log in chapter 21 . 8/13/2006
*Flail flail flail whomp* Of. I made it...I think?

Ah, bravery in numbers...or is it bravado? Is there a difference between the two? Who...scarey danger "dark presence" behind the waterfall...RUN IT'S HIKO SEIJUROU! AHH SHISHOU!

Whee...I need a nap. O.o Or something to eat, that might be good...

Okay, on to the sensical comments.

Boat rides are fun! Never been seasick, but then I've never been on a really big boat. And away our people charge, to face certain danger under the moonlight! Get a move on, Jack, I want to know what happens. *Boot*

Amusing. Keep up the good work...I'm spelling is suffering. O.o
NovelJ chapter 21 . 8/2/2006
Gosh, it's taken a while to get this update up. I'd almost given up on the story. Anyway I'm really glad you updated. The only thing I ask of you is more Shawn, he my favorite!
Serena chapter 20 . 11/18/2005
YAY! Great Chapter! Aww, Why do Vaun and Ser'na have to go! I like Vaun! That whole mermaid thing is awesome, you have an incredible imagination! Luv luv, Serena
Miranda Crystal-Bearer chapter 20 . 11/16/2005
I go away and don't get online for a week or so, and this little beauty appears! *Examines this strange new find* Imagine!

Well, very nice! Biscuits, huh? I like 'em buttered, hot, and made from buttermilk. What about you? Shawn can have his sort of "biscuit."

I like your merpeople. That's fun!

Do keep up the good work. I want to see what they're going to find across the sea.
Serena chapter 14 . 11/16/2005
HEY HEY EFAD! I haven't read this story in such a long time so I'm rereading it! lol. I love this story! How have you been? Have you seen Mrs. Lee lately? Email me! Ttyl, Love Serena
Samurai101 chapter 20 . 11/13/2005
Yeah! More! Culture shock, yep, and that's not the only thing those two can give each other culture shock over I'm sure! Greatly wonderful, and rather bitter-sweet. You make friends, but sometimes you have to leave them behind, or sometimes they leave you behind.
June bug chapter 18 . 2/9/2005
Over-all it was a pretty good story although the lack of compassion and grief over Ryan's death, even if he wasn't well like, made for a rather awkaward chapter and made it less believible. One question though- is the Austrialian guy hot?
Samurai101 chapter 19 . 1/17/2005
Yeah for adventure, and almost clueless heros! Another great chapter. Poor Jack, he gets so beat up. Oh well, he probably deserves it. Please update soon.
Miranda Crystal-Bearer chapter 19 . 1/12/2005
I want the pretty unicorn!

...death to electricity. I'll have to short-circut Shawn before I can keep the, Brit. Whee!

Hey, Anne and Jack fluff...

And you got that left foot thing from Yu-gi-oh. I get SJ too, ya know. ; Ah well. I thought it was a clever idea, too. Not as good as the Anubis from Zelda, though. Those were fun. And hard to kill.

Yay! Write write write! ...if I draw pictures of your people, will it inspire you more? Just a thought.
Miranda Crystal-Bearer chapter 18 . 11/8/2004
*Hops around* UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! *Stops* ...really short update...
. Your tatic of keeping us one step short of sasisfaction is working. I eagerly await the next chapter! Whee!
You like the sewers as an escape route, ne? I enjoyed Misti's portrayal. Yu give her such life. She's amusing, and yet something more that makes you wonder if she's really a cat or not.
No more Ryan, though a very amsuing redhead Brit bishie falling through walls. Does Shawn wear a button-up shirt? Or just a Tshirt? I need to know, so I can get him to stop bugging me. But his accent is nice to hear. ;
Keep writing! I'm reading! Cheers! (And chocolate. Have some.)
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