Reviews for Translucent
anon63 chapter 1 . 7/7/2003
i really like that... and your formatting/structure with the parentheses and hyphens, really powerful.
D'Artagnan chapter 1 . 4/14/2003
That was good in a strange way. I like the words in brackets. It has more effect somehow.
To The Limit chapter 1 . 3/24/2003
Your style of writing is certainly very individualistic. The only way I can think of to describe this poem is a combination of stream of consciousness and poetry. I'm quite impressed by the fact that you can almost completely throw out meter and rhyme and still keep the piece together. Even thematically, it seems as if it will fall apart any second. Your use of metaphor is very strong, and the oddity of the whole piece is quite fascinating _. Heh, now that I've babbled about how weird this poem is, I should congratulate you on a poem well written.
Dryad chapter 1 . 3/8/2003
maybe I get it, maybe I don't. I'm not sure.
kamikaze899 chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
i really liked the ending, and the title suits it well. overall, good job!

ps thanks for the review. yes, it is confusing, but i guess that's what one gets from a poem written in less than 2 minutes. anyway, i've been meaning to fix it but i'm not sure how. suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks again
xurbandecayx chapter 1 . 2/20/2003
Wow. This is really well-written, the metaphors and allusions and hyperboles come together really nicely. Great job.

Though I actually came here in response to your review of my poem 'Thanks A Lot'. (No worries, I'm not here to bitch at you for not saying 'Omg, you're so great' and everything else) I know that that poem is defintitely not one of my best poems, and I even said so in my summary. I guess in that respect I probably shouldn't have posted it, but there's some truth in it, and it can't really be understood just at face value. Well, actually, I guess it can, cos it can be interpretated in different ways, but really, the way I saw it, it was more metaphorical rather than straight-forward bluntness. Also, I never actually I never actually intended for it to be a 'romance', it wasn't what I labelled it as, but I can see where you're coming from. I guess I'm just trying to say rather that, instead of basing your opinion on what you assume it to be, rate it on how it's written and if it actually makes you feel, or if you can identify with it, rather than slagging it cos you can't see it, or identify, or whatever else there is to do with it. Alrighty? Okay, well, my little session here is over, life will go on as normal. You're obviously a talented writer, so your opinion does matter to me. Maybe it would just be easier for me if you were more specific with what I could do to make it better. Cheers.
Pound chapter 1 . 2/18/2003
nice. arranged well.

"To form a new world reality

(Of pain) Metaphorically speaking"

i really like those lines.

admire your style of writing.
Dancing in the Ashes chapter 1 . 2/13/2003
this is good i like it...(oh yeah your comment to my this isnt complaining or anything i just dont want you to get the wrong idea of me or anything...i just happened to be in a bad mood when i got all pissed...(long story) honestly bad reviews dont bother me just feel free to tell me what i need to improve...i honestly dont mind) keep writing
sMiKe chapter 1 . 2/13/2003
It reminds me of frying eggs on the road in arizona never been there but it reminds me of that... your brain on drugs...very intested... makes ya remeber that we do see things through our own Lenses. Very good. VERY CONFUSING. -jolopy
E. Gao chapter 1 . 2/12/2003

[claps hands] I love it! Absolutely love it! Especially the second-to-last stanza. AAAHHH!

O_o XP [rereads over and over again] I don't know what it is. I give up, but then again I'm surrendering to your poem. It's a good thing. _

Invicto chapter 1 . 2/12/2003
I think, perhaps, you need a halthy level of insanity to like this poem. Which I do. Don't know what it means yet, but the format suits me.

The Fire Within
hurtmushroom chapter 1 . 2/12/2003
wow, that's...interesting! liked it very much!
BecomingMyself chapter 1 . 2/12/2003
Somehow I hate it when I don't get the meaning you gave the poem! So I hate you...for hiding what you are behind words...and I hate you also, because it's truly an art to write like this...

It gave me a headache! That's just how I feel..

Though very mixed up this poem came out just fine!

Keep going...
The flying spatula chapter 1 . 2/12/2003
that was really good
Shinmogri chapter 1 . 2/12/2003
Incredible! I've seen poetry meander, but none that was meaningly done, and done well. ;) I like! It's a piece that has to have a lot of musing and contemplation to it. My favorite line would have to be the last one. Tres cool! Continue writing!