|Reviews for We Have Exited the Burning Building|
| Bloo Heart chapter 1 . 3/9/2003
I LOVE the way you ended it! It was so. . .cynical, so clever. You made the poem seem like it was actually being talked out without detracting from the sheer amazingness (is that even a word?) of each of the points you made. Fantabulous.
| charredrose chapter 1 . 2/25/2003
oh my goodness. i love your writing style. the almost-randomness, and yet it shows a little glance of desperation and the urgency beneath the surface. keep writing!
| ShinigamiForever chapter 1 . 2/23/2003
*claps hands* I adore this poem, especially:
This is the operating word, then:
We. An algebraic dance I've promised to you,
and the angles shall leave us alone now.
We were not meant to be inhibited.
And then, of course, the ending. Midway through, when you talk about how you have lost your life to the manuals of the autmobile industry, I literally lost my breath. Wonderful.
| tarnished oversoul chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
Hehheh- I really like this. Especially the last line, it was wicked. There was a point in the poem when I really related to it. But I think that the beginning had a very different feel from the end. It feels like the poem evolved as you wrote it- It got better as it progressed, though I might consider going back and looking at the beginning and revising.
| Impressionist chapter 1 . 2/20/2003
incredible. how much time do you spend on your poetry? because each one is exsquisite.
the bracketed part is well done, and seems as if it's whispered in between by a third party, or still the author, but not wanting to be heard. it gives it an interesting flavor.
a standing ovation is in order, I think.
| Glass November chapter 1 . 2/19/2003
MM.I like it.
The transition between something like love to separation is I'm not sure that "separation" is the right I think you know what I mean. I love the "a million theories on the relativity of death" sure why, probably the irony and rhythm. The tone throughout the piece is amazingly fitting, a sort of regretful offering, if that makes it does.
Again, excellent work!
| O ba ke cha n chapter 1 . 2/19/2003
Ahh. How the world would have been a different place if Florida's election went wrong.
Cut the strings.
I say 'we.'
| the Queen of Jupiter chapter 1 . 2/18/2003
another life lost to
frequent flier miles and
stick-shift manuals of the hungry,
the automobile industry.)
Ouch. I hate viewing life this way, through "cynicism-tinted glasses".but then again, I do it all the time, and if "we" don't do it, who will?
Lovely last line. I don't understand it, but it's lovely.
| FalseExecutioner chapter 1 . 2/18/2003
Well emsicle very enticing and somewhat odd and confusing peice of writing it and im still clueless of why you asked me we or whee? well im enjoying my snow day listening to my chilli peppers and shoveling the patio but it was fun to actually read something for once (u know since were a good 30 miles from a bookstore) well good story i give it a total of 3 stars (out of 5) well see if you win the final competition against tiffany the little 8 year old girl who lived in the back of a van for 2 years. We all feel so sad for tiffany so dont count on winning !. (im just kiding and seeing how gullible the american public is)(u have seen tiffany from star search right?)(i mean tiffany could have been a fuckin terrorist)
| Amaris chapter 1 . 2/17/2003
This poem's good, I don't like it as much as your others though. The end is interesting though. From the "You are." I also like the last sentence. Even though that is part of the end, but I like it more than the rest of the end. It makes it seem somewhat sad I guess. That was a very weird comment. The part about the algebraic dance and angles made for nice imagery as well.
| toysoldier chapter 1 . 2/17/2003
I love 'algebraic dance,' that's great. This made me laugh long and hard. but I was laughing with it, I think.
| account inactive00000 chapter 1 . 2/17/2003
and who says Elvis isn't still alive *glares*?
Hehe, j/k. I love this. My favorite line is:
"I am your shy diva, and you are Lord Byron -" and the algebraic dance is classic.
Love it, but when do i not?
| lemoncane chapter 1 . 2/17/2003
what a unique poem.
| Heather Goldbug chapter 1 . 2/16/2003
Ok, I can't really tell you how many great lines are in this. but we'll just say a lot and be hapy with it. And my gosh. I can't believe you said whee and bwahaha in the same line. It makes you sound exactly like me. *has huge identity crisi* Am I you? Are you me? Who am I? Are we we?