Reviews for Elysium
Dahlia Wolffe chapter 1 . 3/23/2005
Good- i definetely needed to read it myself- interesting you mention ninja weapons. Aren't they the greatest?-Yin
Young King101 chapter 1 . 1/2/2005
This is a very intersting piece, it reminds me of the Matrix and MegMan NT Warrior a bit. I don't fully undertsand it though, either I don't know that much about computers and programs (which i don't), or you made some of this up. Mabey you'll explain in the next chapter. Good job, till the next one.

*Underhill.
thedieselgod chapter 1 . 11/25/2004
very good story. reminded me a bit of THE ANIMATRIX. i would love to see another one set in this world, possibly with the same characters. good job man.
Papa Cee chapter 1 . 3/30/2004
After reading Dead Man and Wergelt I dipped into a few more of your stories. I particularly enjoyed this little Gibsonesque story, proper cyberpunk in terms of word economy and themes. Blind Zen Programming - nice! In general though, I think you could go back and reverse engineer your writing to good effect, create more set-up/payoff so that when the end comes around the reader enjoys the feeling of satisfied closure that comes with a really tight story. But, really good...
invisiblebob chapter 1 . 3/3/2004
I have one thing to say. WOW!
ionlyliveindreams chapter 1 . 6/28/2003
Sweetness! I love this! The whole idea of the Elysium is so cool. It's also cool how things that happen there affect the person in 'real life'. It's great, and you should add more.

Keep writing

~ionlyliveindreams
Nothing to read chapter 1 . 6/26/2003
that is very good! i hope you write more soon! please do!
Kawaii Bunny chapter 1 . 5/29/2003
I totally love it! Will you

add more?
SouthernBelle5 chapter 1 . 5/23/2003
It is so interesting! You should write a second chapter! You came up with a really good plot.
Royster chapter 1 . 5/15/2003
Yes, you're right. "Dickens couldn't pull this one off." He is dead.
Absalom Draconis chapter 1 . 3/4/2003
Looks good. Didn't catch any syntax or grammar errors, and it's well written and coherent, both important in my book. There wasn't a whole lot of detail into what the Elysium are, and at first I thought that there was a single one, represented as a city, on a single server. I had to go through the story a bit more before I found that either there's more than one Elysium, or there's more than one representation of the same Elysium, and I'm still not sure. Good story, looking forward to seeing more stuff from you. The Graphical Universe isn't the most unique setting, but it's not like I care. Keep writing this stuff, it's good.
Rhys chapter 1 . 2/24/2003
"In the reality that was the WorldGrid it was a city in and of itself, a city that this young woman in particular knew very well."

The "in particular" in the sentence seems awkward. I don't think it's really necessary.

Otherwise, it's great. Original storyline, amazing writing, and leaves me absolutely hungering for more. Please continue.
anteNomad chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
This is quite a clever story so far, and I love the way you're writing it. The first two paragraphs, describing the "programming by Zen" I thought were especially good. It was also interesting how your description of Elysium combines the digital aspect with imagery that speaks as though it's a real, living city somewhere. Your writing style is certainly worth envy.

For nitpicking, I wasn't quite satisfied with the way Naginata went from an apparent friend to the sort who'd blurt out generic bad-guy lines such as, "I'm afraid I have to kill you/destroy your computer and take your property now"; especially as it seemed to come out of left field, with the only indication that Ghost should be apprehensive about this guy coming after he was pointing an e-gun at her. (I didn't really get why he bothered with the combat taunt instead of just e-shooting her while she was off guard, either.) But it's far from enough reason to make me not like this piece; I'm quite looking forward to seeing more.
Anumati chapter 1 . 2/21/2003
Wow, I'm on a roll today! This is the second good story I've had the pleasure of reading this morning. Good pacing, good flow, and excellent detail.

A woman named Ghost is just so cool. Reminds me of Ghost in the Shell, but she inhabits a sort of "online" shell instead of a robotic one.

Both Ghost and Naginata are very intriging characters. Naginata's vain and egotistical power. Ghost's cool and collected capability. "Head-splitting logoff" is putting it mildly.

Nice little touches make this story shine: programming by Zen, "byte-boys", especially the concept of a programmer's utopia. Athens Elysium is such a brilliant place! Harkens vaguely to Tad William's Otherworld books (But only vaguely. You should read them if you get the chance).

Quite a unique offering. Why the hell wasn't this reviewed sooner?