Reviews for Pass The Kaleidoscope
hiro0911 chapter 2 . 2/22/2003
good chap! but a little creepy, hey come on! there's a God, okay? ah yeah, the 3rd person thing will work well.
Me chapter 2 . 2/22/2003
Yay! :D

and finally.
jereni to lazy to sign in chapter 2 . 2/22/2003
Nice chapter! _. whats with that little girl? This story is soo interesting, please post more soon!
Alaskan-Lone-Wolf chapter 2 . 2/22/2003
hum, i liked it, sort-of confusing though, you might want to try to make the paragraphs shorter..you know like cutting them in would make it easyer to read AND the story would be longer! Other then that, i think it was excelent! ~*~IceAngel~*~ I hope you write more!
Alaskan-Lone-Wolf chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
um, well it was kind-of short but ALL beginning are! I liked it a-lot, good descriptions and everything! _ An excelent the way! *Hurries to the next chapter* ~*~IceAngel~*~
luhkiecharms chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
Heehee, this is good! Me going to add ficcie to fav list! Please continue *gives a puppy dog face*
hiro0911 chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
ow, first of all, thanks a lot ( i mean a lot really) for reading (really reading.) my work, i hope it kicks! and yeah, in case you want to see some character pics (although i haven't placed them all there yet.), you can check out my website - that's rpg2/zerodragon yeah! give it a click. i have some zero, yida, and lineah pics there and uh. some bg or wallpapers (is this like an ad or something?)

on with my review.

i checked on your fic and i can say that it is so liberated. you write with your own way, not minding what words you use, whether they're proper or not or logical whatsover. your point is that you think that the words like "ass" etc. are the best words you can put in that space. period. that's a good point, you know sometimes you just have to be yourself - minus the rules, that is. it makes you write a better fic because you're in it. the fic is you, do you know what i mean? anyway, as i was saying. I liked your 'first person narration' (you use the word 'we' like impersonating that character, that's cool). i like the way you make your fic roll straight to the point - hits the mark just like that. it's practical and movin. about the catholic thing, haha, you must have a bad experience on priests (i'm just assuming). anyway, i like your plot, but i think it would be better if in the first part of your fic, you try to develop your characters first before just throwing it all out, pointing out what they do, know what i mean? hm. put it this way: try describing them - what are they like? and uh. hm. right - point out their attitudes, their weaknesses, their favorites, their dilemmas. sorts like that, just like what I did with Mignard in my fic, i pointed out his attitude towards marriage, his problems with his over protective parents, and his 'click' to women. something like that. i'll go back to this when you update! this rev is getting to long (haha, but this isn't the longest review i've given so far! in one of the stories i've reviewed, she e-mailed me saying that my reviews are as long as my story) but i'm hoping i make enough sense here. so, lo! good job. hope you keep reading my work!

Zero Dragon by hiro-0911

. ?storyid1027750

rpg2/zerodragon
KC kinsor chapter 1 . 2/21/2003
holy cow's crud that was LONG. but LOL! More humor in this one chapter than I have read in entire stories (took me a while to get through it though). It's great so far, I love it! I especially love the way this guy talks. Waiting for da next chapter.
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