|Reviews for Diana|
| Disturbances within chapter 4 . 7/21/2003
wow, nicely written, i can't waitto read the rest! i would love to have your opinion on some of my stuff if you get a moment!
| Disturbances within chapter 1 . 6/23/2003
| bex321 chapter 3 . 6/23/2003
aha! you must write more, you must! this is very good, you write with a sarcastic voice, like i do. tahdah! i'm not the only one! but i really like this, and it's pretty realistic too, not your average "teenage super-dooper uber agent thats so special and cool!" i really do like it. sorry if i said that more than once.
| bex321 chapter 1 . 6/23/2003
lol. i love diana's ironic view of life, and how the history of her life was told while she was shut in the trunk of a car. i wish i knew how to hot wire stuff...
| Esay chapter 2 . 4/27/2003
Great, just great! This story is interesting, action packed, and as fun as a wild night with a french prostitute. Anyway this story has definately hooked me. I'm puting you on my favorite authors list, great job!
(some things to work on, the bad guys talk suprisingly intellegent, and some descriptions didn't quite flow right.)
| muwasser chapter 2 . 4/27/2003
I like. Some things:
1) This mostly has to do with the first chapter, but try to avoid starting sentences with "I" overmuch. It can get very monotonous, especially if you are simply describing, in chronological order, what the character is doing.
2) Cut down on the synonyms for "said" and cut the adverbs (nonchalantly, warily, which you shouldn't confuse with "wearily") altogether. I should be able to tell how something was said by the statement itself. You're not a big offender of this so don't worry about it overmuch.
And finally, excellent job on the "life flashing before the eyes scene". It was a much better way to get across a character's background than simply giving it at the start of the story.
Looking to read more.