|Reviews for Hidden Among the Shadows|
| Tenshi-Chikyuu chapter 3 . 4/11/2009
"Surprise!" "Happy Birthday!" that is so what happens when they turn on the lights... I just know it is true... lol interesting...and very strange story...
| Lauren K chapter 3 . 8/3/2003
Hey I like so far! Ah but I want to know what happens next! I hate when you're writing and then something happens and you can't think of an explaination...which happens to me all the time. Oh well. It would be awesome if you reviewed my story "Alone" or not, that's cool too. Good job!
| suckerplucker chapter 2 . 4/13/2003
ok i'm just gonna take notes again.
why is he cold with her all of a sudden? he was so nice before
"that had the prescense of darkness"
point a: sp on prescense?
point b: what the hell does this mean?
why was she in a dream world, i thought she was talking, she doesn't seem like the kind of charachter who would just witdraw like that.
why doesn't she hear him the first time?
is it a house or just an empty lot? I'm majorly confuzzled
"The 'house' wasn't very well lit, with rudamentary sources of light"- first of all this doesnt make sense, you say that its not lit very well and then tell us how its lit, you can usually do this as in "The house was poorly and rudamentally lit" but it doesn't really work here, secondly, you say lit twice in one scentance and thats really uber awkward.
When did her second guesing 'come forward' the first time, and for that matter since when does second guessing 'come forward'?
who is the 3rd speaker, Darren Neko and ?
altar, not alyar?
from whence come the flames?
pedastal, not pedastool.
sp on adequite?
Lucky for you, not Lucy for you
white not whit
husband not husbanb
the 'perfect' house has a white picket fence, not the perfect life, when did you ever see a life surrounded by a fence?
| suckerplucker chapter 1 . 4/13/2003
here are my notes as i read
music doesn't blast something, music is something that is blasted by a radio or a speaker of something like that.
bad intead of bed in the 3rd para, 'in the' as opposed to "inthe"
um, your first description in para 1 is really kind of clunky, the whole bit about clubs and stuff. Tell us more about her friend and how she came to be here. What are the clubs like that she usually goes to?
I'll be back
| Algul Siento chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
good, but you've left me hanging. I want to know what happens, so write more please.
Till the next chapter,
| Tenshi-Chikyuu chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
hm, intelegent aren't I? anywho, its interesting. neko seems a bit cold but thats cool. ps whats an all ages club?
| EndlessThyme chapter 1 . 2/22/2003
cute, exept fo some typos, please write more, really fun so far