|Reviews for ou duex mondes rencontre|
| Allegretto chapter 1 . 3/1/2003
Very nice. Honest, I like. You might want to cut down on on the interruptions at the beginning. If you want to keep them (I think you should, they're pretty cool), try putting more inbetween them.
But it's confusing how you say hardly at all about your relationship until when you punch her. I got confused because I had no idea of any history between you two. Might want to hint at that just a bit. Then it's doubly confusing because then I think, "Oh, it'll be about the past and how things built to that." but then your next statement implies that that's just the beginning, and I'm confused, as usual. But keep it up and get it out!
Note: haha, can't help myself. Fix the title. Should be "ou deux mondes se rencontrent." Weird because you don't pronounce the "ent" at the end. That always drove me crazy.