|Reviews for Titans|
| Alteng chapter 8 . 2/25/2004
You have put up enough mystry for the sequel. If you are interested, there is a lot that can be done with story. You have a lot of good ideas here, but the characters could use some more developement and so can the situation. I am awful at writing fight scenes, but I'm certain it can be worked out.
Hey! I've significantly up your reviews. It's your turn! :) Time to go visit the Purple Unicorn!
| Alteng chapter 7 . 2/25/2004
Hear- hear to the excerpt at the beginning, but I work with the public. Simply talking and walking sometimes is all some of the people are capable of! I get your point though.
This is an interesting chapter, and I am not exactly sure why the dragon was helping out Drake . . . maybe he likes his name! :) Anyway, I'm certain that there is more in store in that head of yours.
| Alteng chapter 6 . 2/25/2004
How very interesting. A death cult that is not evil. I have been trying to write a story where there is a necromancer, who is not evil. Interesting challenge, trust me! I have heard of reaper men in some other story, but I don't think they are ninjas!
Geez! The assassin isn't worth his salt. THe companions would have all had daggers in the back! I know, patience, my dear!
| Alteng chapter 5 . 2/25/2004
I like the excerpts from the diaries and the books.
You also seem to come up with unique selections for companions. That is a hard one to do sometimes.
It is nice that not everyone is excited about being the heroes.
Unfortunately, I feel like Javlin. Slow down, I'm coming!
| Alteng chapter 4 . 2/25/2004
Your world is about as nutty as my worlds are . . . well, they maybe crazier! I can see the rude gesture atop the tower. I always wanted to change my cursor to that one!
| Alteng chapter 3 . 2/24/2004
A lot of the problems I see in this story you have fixed in the later stories, such as changing paragraphs with speaker.
Your warped sense of humor keeps coming out. Such as this line froom Chapter 1:
The stone saw him sit (without eyes, that’s quite impressive) and began its story.
I tend to be quite smart alec, too.
The title of Chapter 1 reminds me of a song byt a metal band I like. The song is called "Holy Swordsman", but there is probably no good reason for this. Anyway, I am in the process of reading Chapter 3.
| AethraZip chapter 2 . 10/5/2003
Great so far! Just great!
Maybe it's just me, but it seems like we have similar writing styles. You could check my fantasy story 'Under Meteors' and let me know what you think. (Kehehe.. shameless advertising.)
I love how you have little things written, totally straight-faced, like 'The stone saw him sit (without eyes, that’s quite impressive) and began its story.' *That's* what reminds me of my own writing. I tend to write things like that.
You might want to, in future stories, put dialogue by different characters on different lines. For instance, instead of '"Listen to what” he said, eyeing the stone suspiciously “why am I here?” “You might want to
sit down. No? Oh, well, I shall continue. You are here because you have been chosen to save the world,” said the stone.', you could write:
"Listen to what” he said, eyeing the stone suspiciously “why am I here?”
“You might want to sit down. No? Oh, well, I shall continue. You are here because you have been chosen to save the world,” said the stone.
I will continue reading this as soon as I have a moment to do so.
| Psychotic Cheeto chapter 3 . 9/8/2003
This chapter is just as good!
Once again, more description would help. What does the camp look like? What about the market? What do Marg, Mald, Masta, what do they look like? Tell me more about their culture and life.
And, so those wolf things at the end, those were the wolfmen that changed or the ones that didn't change?
Don't think I'm trying to take over your story!
Keep writing! Are you finished with this one? I noticed you have a sequal.
| Psychotic Cheeto chapter 2 . 9/8/2003
I love this story so far! I've only read the first chapter. I have some suggestions.
1) Watch your tenses. Somewhere in the second paragraph you switch from present tense to past tense, getting the reader confused.
2) Readers like lots of description. Maybe you should add more. Since this is a big part in the story, you might want to slow it down with adjectives.
3) When Drake first meets the stone dude, the stone says 'though I'm not sure why they chose you.' Then, later, he starts talking his guts out about why they chose Drake. Maybe you should replace that sentence.
Just a few suggestions. Let me read the next chapter!
By the way, at first sight, your story seems very stereotypical. But after reading it, you discover that it is original in many ways.
| Elminster chapter 4 . 4/5/2003
So far so good.