|Reviews for This Very Moment|
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/23/2012
oh he's married... excellent:D his hotness factor just went up 50 notches.
| the.flamingo.girl chapter 44 . 1/9/2012
I would love to have a hard copy of this book, you should definitely consider self publishing, with a little tweaking of course. I actually remember reading this story years ago and had a vague memory of it so I decided to seek it out again. You did not disappoint I enjoyed it as much as I did the first time.
| Enoemen chapter 44 . 1/25/2011
Okay one reviewer who compared this to 'Twilight' went a little too far, but I'll give my honest opinion.
I think you should work on new stuff you have and not go back trying to rewrite your older works. I'm guessing you were fairly young when you first wrote this and I have to say even though it IS cheesy and more than a little melodramatic I enjoyed it. I could somewhat relate to the main character, I guess you could say. However I think you're capable of writing better stories without being so...flowery. And some of the metaphors are just strange. For example when Serena, is about to "drop Kamikazes on Pearl Aurora." ? You see what I mean?
I think you could do better with less describing or telling the reader how beautiful, wonderful or deep their love is and letting it show for itself. And maybe the characters could have more average names? Never met anyone named Aurora, sorry. All I'm saying is you should write with more prose and less poetry if that makes sense. Or perhaps it's just a matter of taste.
Anyway I wish you luck on your creative endeavors.
P.S. I have read your poems and they are all very interesting in my opinion. Short and sweet.
| Julian Duval chapter 44 . 1/13/2011
I think you should publish. I've held onto this story in the past 7 years since its creation, and along with Immortal Bloodlust: Retribution, I feel it demonstrates your writing ability at this particular stage in your life. Although you've grown much from this point, as with all great artists, there must be evidence of their creative progression. From Stanley Kubrick,Robert Frost, to the late Michael Jackson, their works can be tracked by their visions of creativity over time. I would most definitely purchase this and encourage others to read it. Furthermore, I feel a part of this story is connected to the events which occurred in reality very close to the emotions we felt in high school. Do let us know, your fans what you decide.
| Stretch19 chapter 44 . 7/8/2010
i definitely think you should go with the self-publishing, i'd buy a copy straight away. there are a lot of good stories on the site that would sell as books, yours being one of them. i cried near the end it was so heartbreaking.
| Rosie the Riveter chapter 44 . 7/4/2010
Look, I'm going to be honest with you. You're a graduate student at Columbia and you write a rag like this? And you're majoring in creative writing? Oh my god, you're the next Stephanie Meyer. Except infinitely more obscure, I hope.
Your characters were flat and boring. The plot, which was achingly dull, was riddled with cliches. You used so many nonsensical metaphors I had to force myself not to slap my own forehead. In addition, you made your protagonist so weak, stupid, dependent and shallow I'm not sure how anyone except people who are exactly like her could possibly find her role satisfying. There's so much anti-feminism in this that I feel a sort of vicarious embarrassment. I wish I could articulate how much it pisses me off to see you set our gender back, albeit only through mediocre online pulp.
Never publish this, please. We don't need a second Bella Swan telling young girls to put up with chauvinism and stay in the kitchen.
One last thing: I'm willing to bet that you've at least improved marginally since this story began years ago, but the fact that you're still considering publishing it negates any credit I could possibly afford you.
I'm going to go read some Sylvia Plath until my mind feels properly cleansed of this garbage.
| PadlockLOL chapter 36 . 4/18/2010
love it love it hope u up date more
| tainted x love chapter 44 . 4/17/2010
First of all, I'm glad I didn't find this story when you first wrote it, because all that wait would have driven me nuts. That being said, I'm also glad you have completed this story. Too many stories go abandoned and the fate of their characters is forever floating somewhere in the cosmos, where no one can reach...
I just want to tell you how much I love this story. The simplicity in which you write in is just... so perfect in capturing the most powerful emotions and moments that happened. BTW, Serena is a beautiful name! You have made me care for Serena and Alejandro so much during this read; and I believe that a great story is when a reader (or readers) can relate to or really care for the characters, however fictional. You, on the other hand, have not only made me care for these people, you made me feel their pain... you made my heart wrench and weep, you made tears fall out of my eyes, you made it so that for one moment life was excruciating (in their shoes).
I know that all sounds very dramatic, but this is why I believe you have written such a beautiful thing. To make people feel things that are not really there, to really have your readers be immersed in that very moment, is a wonderful skill. Thank you for sharing this story. Unfortunately, as you have mentioned, real life would most likely not have produced a good ending here. Even though what they had together was one of the most beautiful things that could ever happen to anyone. The fact that you stuck to your convictions and put them through their greatest (and worst) moments in their lives, I admire it. We would all like to give in to fantasy that things like this will always work themselves out in the end, but life is a very beautiful tragedy unfortunately and that painful twinge of reality just makes this story all the more intense.
So I thank you... this has been a GREAT read. I'm going to wait a little until I read the sequel.
| Anna Lorraine chapter 44 . 4/17/2010
Honestly, you should publish it. Even though I've already read it, I would read it again. I'm currently going through the same personal issue (to an extent) so I could seriously feel the pain Serena had felt. I read this story in a total of 5 hours. I stood up all night just to finish it. I cant wait to read the sequel.
| BlueAki chapter 44 . 4/15/2010
I definitely say GO FOR IT. Be confident that you have written and amazing story. Other people deserve to read your stories like we are able to. Keep us updated if you do because I'd definitely buy a copy!
| LenaeStarr chapter 44 . 4/14/2010
U are finally back! Love this fic!
but honestly, I would love to have a copy of this in my hands but i dont know if it would be received well. Student/Teacher is a taboo topic and some people have serious issues with it. So its a bit hard to judge.
Im into forbidden love writing (im a writer of a student/teacher fic myself) and I think other people who write it are also interested... but I'm not sure how a large population will take to it. I hope that made a bit of sense. lol.
| annne chapter 40 . 12/14/2009
well i really enjoyed the story up until this point i have a hard time believing that a principle would be so understanding towards that
| love-forever chapter 43 . 9/2/2009
UGH THANKS A LOT! I'm throwing a tantrum now because of you! I HATE YOU!
Okay, of course I don't really hate you. You wrote this awesome story, how could I hate you? But STILL! THIS IS ME BEING A DISGRUNTLED READER! I started crying! I wanted to push Serena on her knees and make her scream ALEJANDRO NO! But I can't. SO. I'm so mad! WHY GOD WHY? She loved him! I loved him! He was the shit! I think they could've made it! Stupid Aurora! I'm gonna kill that girl, even if she isn't real! She. Is. Going. Down. UGH!
Very good though. The ending was very unexpected and original. Good job...even if I am ANGRY AND SAD AND ANXIOUS ALL ROLLED INTO ONE!
| Diamandis chapter 1 . 12/21/2007
I'm sure many MANY people have asked you this but did it really happen to you? It is truly an amazing story.
| BabyGenki chapter 43 . 12/20/2006
I loved this story, it maybe me smile at times and come close to tears other times, I wish I could write this well. I hate the ending though, not because it was bad, but because it is what happens in real life. Who knows, maybe you would consider writing a story quite like this, a minor and an adult fall in love... but maybe with the fairy tale ending that we all dream about.