Reviews for Dragon Lord legends
kieky chapter 12 . 3/24/2013
I am really enjoying your story so far, there are a few editing errors that I have come across along the way, just mispelling or missing the odd word such as 'the' or 'and'. maybe get some one to proof read over it for you? that way you can be sure all is corrected.
apart from tiny mistakes like that i am absolutly loving the character building and story behind them all, got to say that vorlat is my favourite so far although i much enjoyed slip and his disapearing / appearing acts ]
skyshader chapter 148 . 5/20/2012
I think this story is great, yep, real awesome.

though there's something bothering me. Thanks is considered as schizophrenic, but from what I read, she is more of Bipolar Disorder. I mean, it's the real Omnioscent's soul in her mind right? so Thanks isn't hallucinating. which means, her rapid change of emotions is one of the symptom of Bipolar Disorder. not that I'm expert anyway.
Luny Bird chapter 150 . 2/9/2011
hi i was hooked from the begining this story is the cause for me going againts my parents and staying up all night i swear i stayed up at least 3 nights with out sleep at all that is how much i love this story it always came before school cause hey they want us to read and read i did if i didnt have my computer to read this i would have died and with out this story i would lost inspiration to stay awake during school so i wish you good luckand a happy story time

i give you the gift of inspiation

Faithfully Luny Bird
Tom D chapter 150 . 6/27/2010
Loved it,well done and cant wait for the falow up. Nice twist at the end.
VonThunder chapter 4 . 7/21/2009
Oh wow! Very well written and developed! I love it! I'll keep on reading...you have me hooked. :)

VonThunder
Siranzan the Bard chapter 151 . 2/26/2009
phew! ... That has taken me 3 days to read, college not included, and I must admit that was one of the longest and most addictive stories that I have read for a long time, although I got some hints of David Eddings in the beginning and a few other elements, it was extremely well written, a masterpiece, and I hope the Sequel comes out soon I can't wait.
Lady Keruri chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
eh... too lazy to log in.

Excellent story! Very very long and probably very hard work! I'm only on chapter five but I know I'll be in for the long run.

The characters are very well developed and the story is captivating! I have no idea where this is going, but be sure I'll read to find out.

Love,

Lady Keruri
Penmaster17 chapter 1 . 12/31/2007
I thoroughly enjoyed. Good pacing and I like the way you switched characters to tell the story. The battle seen was well played and had an air of humored danger. Spectacular, I will definitely keep on reading.
WENDY chapter 1 . 10/17/2007
His mother had died suddenly, crippled by a falling tree and she had died whilst the medicine woman was on her way from the nearest town.

I would not use the word wilst it is a form of old English and unless you wanted to tell the entire story that way it doesn’t make sense.

the hair, it was like it was on fire - a crimson and yellow mass that tumbled down the shoulder in wreaths.

I think that wreaths isn’t the best choice of adjectives to describe hair.

He rose slowly, cleared away and left with hardly a trace to the naked eye.

This sentence really doesn’t make complete sense.

Being hated because they were different. Ryn wasn’t too sure that he wanted to be associated with people who were hated and so he had halted that childish fantasy almost as soon as it had taken his fancy.

Ok this is a little too corny sounding to me hated 4 works later halted fantasy finishing with fancy. Might be better if it wasn’t such a run on sentence. Just doesn’t seem to flow. Almost like you are writing poetry instead of a story.

He was here because he had heard of a man who was rumored to have beaten his stepson. A not-so-dire case, but Vorlat wasn’t really feeling charitable. He had nothing better to do at the moment, either for he had been taking a break in a nearby village. A break for him was a single day without helping someone. For once he had been able to sleep for more than eight hours at a time. That annoyed him.

Question: If he wasn’t feeling charitable and it wasn’t a dire case what was he doing there? That line isn’t making sense.

I’m sorry I couldn’t get any further into your story. Maybe I will come back after it is edited. I got to the part of him seeing people summoning dragons and they were called dragon summoners and that just blew it for me. Sorry
AwakenedMoonlight chapter 1 . 1/21/2007
I love it. Vorlat is awesome.
G.C MacBeth chapter 1 . 1/2/2007
wow, a full-length novel. I admire your creativity. not many others on fictionpress have a full-length novel. (well, not many GOOD ones)
Vash the stampede45 chapter 1 . 6/29/2006
I was so confused for a second. I was in the middle of the story and you changed names and everything. So I'm gonna re-read it. The first chapter is rather good yet again, though I don't see the point of changing his name from Ben to Ryn.
lronMaiden chapter 17 . 6/25/2006
wow, i must first start by saluting you for the sheer effort and will of writing something this long. I know i'm only up to chapter 19, but so far your plot's tight and certain, no wavering all over the place. as long as that keeps up through the rest of this huge story, i take my cap off to you.

Your characterisation and dialogue is great, and i love the scenes. their entertaining and often funny, even when the characters are in dire trouble. good pacing.

There are two things right now that I think you should consider revising.

1. your general narrative, becaus ein many paces the sentences are awkward and words are missing. but that all comes down to editing.

2. Lora's character. i think she's too blatantly spoilt, and that makes her unrealistic. hehe i don't know how much experience you've had with girls, but the most spoilt and vain girl with or without PMS does NOT get crabby if she can't take out the washing, or worry about her hair and having a bath in such cicrumstances. It just seems like you've stereotyped her because of these unrealistic traits.

otherwise, great job, i'm going to keep reading.

PS. if you could have a look at my story Truth in Exile that'd be appreciated.
Orlan Ravenblade chapter 149 . 6/8/2006
This is amazing. You should definitely get this published. You're better than some of the fantasy writers that already have work published! So good, I could really picture the vivid scenes and the rousing action. The end battle was terrifically well done. I have to put this as one of my favorite stories on this site.
Shang chapter 7 . 4/30/2006
Boy, Seifa's an ass... even bigger then Lora! It's good to see that Ryn is improving, although you can't see it that much so far... I wonder how this'll develop. The only thing that troubles me is that I don't see the title have much to do with the story itself so , maybe you'd like to check out me story? You might just like , your story is still pretty good and I'll keep on reading.
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