Reviews for Flowing brook
PainKiller chapter 4 . 7/27/2003
I absolutely love your style of writing, specifically the way you can get at emotions and convey them so well. Especially the end of this chapter, when she wants Jessica to stay with her. That was really great writing.

Another great chapter. No problems here.

p.s - Your dialouge was excellent.
lostinscotland chapter 36 . 7/26/2003
wow...touching and very sad.

the rhea/father confrontation was interesting... i was not at all prepared for the whole "tired old man" thing. i can understand him not slapping her after she dared him to that way, but something about his reaction seems kind of off. i dunno. i can't help but disagree with jenisita, darling that she is... i don't think she should make up with her father and move back in. i don't like the guy, you've painted him too darkly for me to want him to change, even for rhea's sake. just doesn't sound right to me. but it's your story, do what you like

was jess actually raped? it sounds like it... are you going to go into that anymore? it definitely sounds important to the story, that would totally re-traumatize her, unless i'm crazy. which i hope i'm not... o.o;;

interesting that adriaan is saying alex deserves better... better than rhea, i assume? that wasn't what i was expecting either. i mean, it wouldn't have made sense to say that rhea deserved better than alex, but that was just a bit surprising. and why is he so set against alex? obviously he doesn't like the family much, probably because his sister is hiding out there, but...whatever. again, your story.

poor alex and rhea and jess! this is getting very good, i do hope you'll end it happily for them. maybe not 'happily ever after, everything is perfect', but happily enough.

i'm going away for three weeks, so i will miss your next few updates, but i'll be back 'round august 16th, and then i will come read what all you post while i'm gone.

keep writing!
Seigi no Hoshi chapter 36 . 7/26/2003
You are continuing to do an excellent job with this story. I have enjoyed reading it a lot.

You have done great at capturing the emotions throughout the story.
Jenisita chapter 36 . 7/25/2003
wow... great chapter, it left me longing for more... you really are a talented writer, your characters are so very complex and yet extremely believable. I saw one time where you were in the wrong tense, but that was really minor, and i can't even remember where it was!

great work! i'll be looking forward to the next chapter! i got on today, forgetting it was friday, then after looking at a few sites i was like "it's friday!" and got to this site as quickly as possible, and i wasn't disappointed!
talkingbanana chapter 36 . 7/25/2003
oh WOW! another update today! you're the greatest!

and what a great update it was, too. you've done a fantastic job of capturing their emotions - you've made these characters tangible.

now just have alex & rhea finally hook up and your story will be PERFECT! :p
talkingbanana chapter 35 . 7/25/2003
ah yes, another wonderful update! i like the ending part about Alex and Rhea - a nice semi-lighthearted way to end. also, the whole family's reactions seem very realistic - great job! :D
TabusVakarian chapter 34 . 7/22/2003
Sorry it took me so long to review.. haven't been online much lately. Oh, I do hope Rhea's father doesn't do anything more to hurt her. I can't wait for the next chapter... hee hee
Jenisita chapter 1 . 7/21/2003
I usually post as Jen, so you know who this is, but I actually created an account now, so it's jenisita from now on. I know i'm not using this for a review, but i had to tell you that I finally attempted to write something of my own and i would absolutely love if you would read it! The chapters are really short, and it's just starting out, but your frank opinion would mean a lot to me!

Keep up your wonderful work, you are a blessing!
Jen chapter 34 . 7/18/2003
Ok, wow, I will deff be counting down the days till the next friday posting! too bad today's friday! shoot! So it's excellent, i am seriously emotionally caught up in this story, it deffinately has publishing potential! This may have been asked and answered before, i haven't read the reviews, but does any of this come from someone's real life example?

Oh, and an idea i came up with... though i'm sure it'll get shot down... the way you've framed her father in the past there seems no chance for resolution, but is he changing? because if so and she eventually moved peacefully back there but stayed in touch with alex and jess that would be so cool! but i'm sure you'll come out with something 10 times better than what i suggest! you are amazing!
midary chapter 34 . 7/18/2003
AH! brooke i loved your insult! can i add it to my list of quotes?

and i have one thing to say to you shymk this proves my point! "If I don't use it now in this story, I might just find a place to use them... later..." ;P hehe. anyway thanks for making adriaan bleed! i'm satisfied. now i don't feel soo sick when i think about that other thing. _
PainKiller chapter 3 . 7/18/2003
The opening of this chapter, where Rhea is going into fits was really well written. Not a whole lot of action in this chapter, but it needed to be done. Excellent work.
PainKiller chapter 2 . 7/18/2003
Wow... for a moment there, I was scared that something REALLY bad was going to happen to... "her". I still don't know her name, hehe. Really great descriptions. I'm on to the next chapter!
PainKiller chapter 1 . 7/18/2003
An excellent beginning to the story. The anger and pain is evident in the daughter's life. I thought it was particularly cruel how the mother didn't seem to care. Great work.
lostinscotland chapter 34 . 7/18/2003
ooh, very tense. i suppose i can understand alex's feelings about going after adriaan, but he shoudl've done it. blasted...mph. adriaan is a confounded bum of a jerk-faced meaniehead! ::fumes:: (that's my ultimate insult...pathetic, huh?)

anyways, nicely done. with alex's language and all... i understand not wanting to write it; i traumatized myself writing one scene for one of my stories, but it's kinda necessary for the realism and all. so i would suggest, painful as it might be, don't let the curses dangle. it's obvious he says them. maybe use stars in place of letters if you're that uncomfortable, but for the story's sake, leave 'em in. all the way in. it's mild language anyway, nothing we haven't heard before, even if we didn't want to have heard it. just my thoughts, though

erm...one thing. when adriaan stops the car, and alex approaches him, you never actually stated that adriaan got out of his car. that makes things a tad bit confusing...maybe you could clear that up?

anyway, great job overall, this has been my most critical review in a long time, hasn't it? whatever! great job, keep it up! don't end it too soon, i love this too much to see it end! (though i'm not the one writing it o.o;; ) again, great job!
Jen chapter 24 . 7/17/2003
I've been hesitating to review since i'm not all the way through the story and all that.. but i just have to say something before i head off to camp, where i work, again and can't read for a while longer. Your work is AMAZING, like seriously!, yes, it could use some more description, at least of the basic characters, though you did better with adrian, but it is wonderful! you have a true talent and I encourage you to keep it up! I have been blessed by this story and I'm sure God is using it for some people where it might hit close to home.

You really are amazing! Better than (i'm gonna get murdered by Brooke for this, sorry!) anything unpublished i think i've ever read! Keep it up and God Bless!
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