|Reviews for Searching For Life|
| Honey Kitten chapter 1 . 5/22/2003
I really liked the message in this one; I think a lot of people could learn from it :P Another wonderfully written piece! You have true talent :)
| heather chapter 1 . 3/26/2003
'tis heather, finally with a review. it's quite good (like i said, you're getting progressively better) but i promised to be harsh:
-first i tried to follow an iambic meter within it, but it broke in the 7th line, though a bunch of the others are iambic too. judging by the break, i'm betting this was unintentionally iambic.
-line 20 - "not even just a bit", probably since it contains so many little words, sounds a little choppy, kind of like syllabic filler. maybe you could find fewer words but same syllables to say this..
-"to release all my tears" sounds a little awkward, mostly b/c the meter forces the emphasis onto the "re" of "release". it's also a strange (not necessarily bad) way to say it.
-it's hard not to notice the reiteration of the word "better". is this an intended theme?
alright... that's all the comments i could come up with for now.. . -waves-
| Wrong Name Tag chapter 1 . 3/26/2003
Awesome song. Lots of very nice phrases, and generally, it all meshes really nicely together. Also, the way you wrote it makes it much easier to imagine a tune. Great job
| Aaron Mason chapter 1 . 3/25/2003
Welcome back ;) And you show your great talent in another excellent song.
As for the blast of submissions I put in, it did me no good, so I took out all the songs that haven't been reviewed and I'm putting them back in, one by one, every day (or each day I get on the net at least)
Now where was I? Oh yes. It's good to see you back. And do take a look at each song as I put it in, it's a lot easier than going through 15 at once ;)
| Impmon Theft Auto chapter 1 . 3/24/2003
pretty good. flowed well. Its ryhamed well in most parts and... yeah.. good *clap clap clap*
| passing on pixydust outgrown chapter 1 . 3/13/2003
i like it, good flow, great overall.
i relate to the subject so extra points or something. i've felt that. not the funniest thing thing around.
| Shattereddreams chapter 1 . 3/9/2003
See we have little copyright bits now? I thought that was cute. Anyways, too damn good as usual. Flows's perfect, rhyme's perfect, lyrics just perfect and you know it :P I like the apparently bit thats very song-like and the pace is punchy and .. too good. You know I really need a thesaurus right now. I swear I say the same thing everytime. And i say that everytime too. Anyway, you rock , you know it , we all know it, you're just a really good songwriter theres nothing to even criticise constructively anymore :P
| Julianna chapter 1 . 3/6/2003
I really like it.I'm not one to critique poetry, as I'm not very good at it. Very good.
| bunni chapter 1 . 3/6/2003
preetyfulness _ *jealous of your super cool writing*