Reviews for Rosebud Innocent
Piney chapter 3 . 6/22/2003
this is so cool!i can't remember but the name finley sounds familiar...
Lyria Shard chapter 3 . 6/19/2003
Oh, me likey! Tobaira's cool! Sorry i didnt get to this so much sooner than i have, but i've been MEGA busy! Roll on summer, i need a holiday! Mail me hon!

Lyri

x
Moonie chapter 3 . 6/18/2003
Wow...that girl sure is brave to only want a rose. This is coming along great! I hope you finish it.
Marshmallow Vampire chapter 3 . 6/18/2003
(this is Emily)

Wow, now it's turning into fantasy medevilish thing. For a while when you didn't describe the land, I was hoping it would sort a a futue-ish Earth thing. Oh well, I should have known better. *hails Starlight rain as the Queen of fantasy*. Plops, this chpater was okay I guess... but I liked the first two better. Tobaira is cool though (but Chloes still better! *smirks*) Write more.

-Amberose

P.s: It's easy. Alls you have to do is click. And then read, and then review our story. Now you have no exuse about not being able to find our account. You're mentiond in the third chapter for inspiring a line! Go look!
Brooke O'Riley chapter 3 . 6/17/2003
oh, fun. ::sigh:: we've established that ermangarde is a little girl...how little? i find myself curious about the oddest things...

anyway, good chapter, update soon!
Saranha de Angelo chapter 3 . 6/17/2003
Ah...now we find out who Ermangarde is (Finley...well, I know where you go that). Tobaira's an interestin character (how do you pronounce that, anyway?) Continue!
Piney chapter 2 . 6/8/2003
this is interesting... I will just wait and see where it goes. You have an unique writing style.
Brooke ORiley chapter 2 . 6/6/2003
excellent. she's off to find a rose! i'll help! ::tries to find a rose:: ok, wait...slow down, brooke. yeah...

so...when do we get to find out more about this girl? her name, her age...anything would be nice. i do like this story, and i'll watch it. a few things, tho...

*As my gaze downcast upon my hands, I dropped Dolly once more, frantically trying to scrape the dried blood out from beneath my nails. *

um...technically there's no verb in that sentence...maybe try "As I cast my gaze down upon my hands" ? or something of that ilk?

*But they were a nearly dead people, and none headed them*

none 'heeded' them.

i think that's all, but this is a very intriguing story, despite the fact that i generally don't read this type of thing, and i'll definitely keep an eye on it!

and thanks for your reviews! i realize those chapters aren't too realistic, i'm working on changing them! it gets more real farther along, tho!
Brooke ORiley chapter 1 . 6/6/2003
aw! now i gotta see what on earth is going on...very intriguing, this is.

one thing...

*forever clutching dearly onto the bloody ragdoll who's bones my grip would surely have broken,*

try 'whose'

ok, off to chapter two!
Wings of Dark chapter 2 . 6/2/2003
Interesting. This piece really shows promise, but again, the amount of detail and information you give is frustrating. Your piece is good, no doubt, but the audience doesn't exactly feel as if they learned much new. Your descriptions are haunting.

Elisabeth
Wings of Dark chapter 1 . 6/2/2003
You really know how to set mood, but some of this is overkill. You say nothing about what caused the blood and the horror and for the girl to run, leaving the audience somewhat confused.

Elisabeth
Lyria Shard chapter 2 . 5/22/2003
Loved it tons deary, the massive time it took you to write was worth it. Just dont go away again, kay? I want your input! *WAA!* Check out Tearstains on the Bedsheets please, i've left you a lil surprise!

Yours from a bud,

Lyria

(formerly Sal, which you can still call me. Cos im so lovely.)
Jasmine27 chapter 2 . 5/21/2003
Neato!

glad you finally got the second chapter up! it is great! keep writing.
Saranha de Angelo chapter 2 . 5/21/2003
This is different than your usual style, but I can see you writing both styles, so whatever goes! This is a very sad story, but the writing is lovely, and I really think that there is a good lesson to be learned from this girl's sad tale *cough cough Humanity should read this cough cough* Ah well, good job! I assume you plan to continue? UPdate soon!
evm chapter 2 . 5/21/2003
Ahh, so much sadness...But it was still cool! Good job Marley! Chloe is dead right? You killed her! How could you? She sounded cool...(just kidding, although she still is cool.)If you keep writting, I'll keep reviewing!

-Amberose
23 | Page 1 2 Next »