Wow! This is realy good stuff. I like the whole setting and the mood you set for the reviewers. I realy want to find out what happens next so please update soon

I hope you continue with this story. Aside from the fact that it is a really good story, I really want to know what happened to Bowen and why Kyley remembers him somewhat. Update soon please!

Hey you are a wonderful writer! I enjoy your story greatly, hope you will like mine (If i ever get it up)

Nalia

Your style flows very smoothly with a steady rhythmn. It's not particularily florid or prosaic, but its consistant in word choice and style. This doesn't sound like a compliment but it is, a steady consistant sytle is a lot harder to achieve than some may imagine. It's something that is sorely missed when not there, but often taken for granted.

There's a cryptic clarity... a paradox, I know, but you manage to fit together all the information and allow it to flow smoothly, fooling me to think that I know everything, but all the while, I don't. Plenty of potential to just pick up all those hints and glimpses somewhere in chapter eight or whatnot to expand and weave and spin...

Incomplete sentence: "Why was here?" First few paragraphs.

Love the way you just conveniently drop the hint to Bowen's past. Though I don't fully know all the details, I know enough to feel that I know him and can sympathise. Applauding your subtlty in doling out that information. First the hawk on his breast and now with the quick reference to his lord. Likewise with the quick flashback to Kiley's burning village, brief but very intense in emotion.

Fully-omniscient is an intersting technique to tell such a story. It's usually very overwhelming, but useful in a story so abound with secretive characters. Careful not to switch perspective to often, though, since it could be jarring, though that offence hasn't be commited here.

Careful:

Bore: a person who evokes boredom

Boar: a wild swine having a narrow body and prominent tusks

Don't break off to explain pronounciations until the end... it's a small thing, but reminds me that this isn't real and that I'm just reading and not actually there. Draw me away from the tale.

Intrigued. Very intrigued. There's something about Bowen's name that seemed to open the floodgates for questions... Hm...

You can afford to cut down on the "he said"s and "she said"s... They can get a little wearisome. It's only them two so it's easy to guess who's speaking.

Keep writing! May the words flow freely from your fingertips.

I like the attention paid to the horse's nervousness. I'm surprised he hasn't bolted yet. There are moments where more detail would just flesh out the story and give it that extra edge and colour in the monochrome world you've painted. Not in excrutiating detail, but just washes to give it more feeling. The horse didn't just feel nervous: he flicked his ears backwackwards in fear and whickered loudly, stamping the ground restlessly.

Love the apathy Bowen's feeling for the mysterious wolfish woman. Adoring his indecision as what to call her mentally.

"to boot" felt a little jarring to the rest of the text. Don't know. Modern jargon just doesn't rest too well with medieval backdrops. Likewise with pulling out of the narrative to inform the reader of the setting. It could have been woven into the story or deposited to the author's notes.

Bowen wouldn't have recognised a tank top. He could have noted the strange cut of her clothes. How revealing they were (cue: cute moment. he's most amusing) and how expensive that colour was to achieve (the medieval list of avaliable colours is severely limited) or how faded that orange top looks.

You've a talent for ending chapters at difficult moments and forcing one to read on. Not sure if that's a good thing when I run out of chapters to read. But applauding you even through my frustration.

The woman's very mysterious. Developing a fondness for her wolf, who seems the paragon of practicality. Keep writing!

I could applaud a successful quiet beginning for a very long time, but I won't. Just to say that I love the calm of it, overlaid with the calm of solitude, yet stirring underneath it all is a prowling cat, ready to strike and ruin such a dream of peace.

I like the idea of him wearing "a hawk upon his chest with pride." The imagery it stirrs is striking. The connotations profound with the way it conveys so much of his character in so few words and at the same time igniting a dozen questions.

A "What?" style chapter ending. Am about to compulsively click the right arrow, but needed to drop a word. There's something very familiar about this scene, something very familiar about the whole setup that makes it very endearing instead of feeling trite, which is a great achievement on your part.

Randomnly, write your numbers out in full ("five" instead of "5") It just looks better. Doesn't interfere with the flow of the text so much. The arabic number is just slightly jarring to the eye.

Short, sweet beginning. Very intriging. Have to add that I'm most enamoured of our lone rider, Bowen. Keep writing!

It's interesting. Write more soon.