Reviews for The White Wall
visiondust chapter 1 . 6/3/2003
i like the imagery hanz! graffitti... whoope! i like the last three lines, very beyotiful
Alaskan-Lone-Wolf chapter 1 . 5/14/2003
wow a beautiful poem...what descriptions! Lovely really...and quite advanced! Keep it up!

~*~The Goddess of Night~*~
sweetspontaneous chapter 1 . 5/9/2003
i like the staccato feel of the interrupted thought "what was it...that pissed you off." very interesting. and the colour images are stronger than you think, i think- at least, to me. good poem.
MandELLA chapter 1 . 4/20/2003
wow. i really, really like this! The images from the colors are fine, so don't worry about it. But i didn't get the spray-paint image, more, i got the image of a toddler with a box of crayons, sitting in the corner as punishment...and being creative to the corner he must stare at.

By the way, Why did the teachers want to change the colorful walls?
Toireasa chapter 1 . 4/12/2003
I enjoyed it, there was on misspelling, but it's okay. I think you create strong visions, and I personally enjoyed it. Not as flowarific as Agape, but I still liked it. Good job. .

~Toireasa
absolute0 chapter 1 . 4/8/2003
Ah, another nice piece. It's nice how in this poem you're portraying the story of the white patch of paint on the wall. Graffiti is a means of expression. I think the way you used the colours served their purpose well. Reading that part feels like I'm watching colors exploding, like a various cans of paint are being splashed into a wall. ) And it's nice how you ended the poem (or proem). You've shifted back from the colors to the white wall. Oh yeah, can I review your comments as well especially on this one, "Inspired by one of the walls in my classroom! Last year's class spraypainted messages, flowers and other stuff on the walls and the teachers got them painted over. Cool!" This is what I've got to say: cool! Keep up!
Teefah chapter 1 . 3/24/2003
I love it! When I read through the whole poem, I (subconsciously) imagined myself facing the Wall (yep, with the capital W). I also find this whole stuff very inspiring.

I hope you'll get a new inspiration soon and write more poetries. I like your style, and I'm sure many others do as well. So keep writing!
Glacial Phoenix Mystiara chapter 1 . 3/19/2003
i like the use of colour, too! ) spelling mistakes here and there, though. but i liked it - very passionate and unusual.
Carter Tachikawa chapter 1 . 3/12/2003
Great poem. I'm glad to find that you have written. It seems like all the authors that were dormant over the past few months are getting back into the groove, lol. And it's about time too! Anyway, I love this poem. Color is hard to use as image but you did well. Keep it up. ~CT