Reviews for Fall of Maras
morrigaine chapter 5 . 5/2/2003
Interesting...

That's certainly a point of view you don't get to read everyday, and your writing of it was excellent.

Congratulations!
Maelan Peredhil chapter 2 . 4/26/2003
Nice work, I like the descriptions. I'm a bit confused; were there humans fighting with the orcs? and if there were, I think that's an interesting touch. Very good.

Maelan
Kumi Sataki chapter 5 . 4/13/2003
I've already read this of course, but I must say again, please continue!

About my chapter three: Yeah, it was pretty boring. I was a little desperate for something to write other than "They got to the Cottage."
Kumi Sataki chapter 4 . 4/11/2003
I read the whole thing. It's very interesting, I like how you write it. Only you don't quite explain who Anriel is. I had to sort of guess at that. It's quite a good idea to write it from the Orc's point of view; it shows that they aren't stupid oafs. Keep going.

About my story: Well, Kess listens to Eagle and trusts him. And he is her training master; she has to do whatever he says without protest. Some masters would beat any student who disobeyed them. Eagle never does, of course. But officially Kess has to do whatever he says. It's like a law.
Choir girl chapter 5 . 4/10/2003
Hey!

Oh this is good. Nice language, very violent, but cool plot! I can see this is going to be REALLY good! Interesting things you're using as speech marks though... But yeah. I wanna see more of this one! I think I'll have to put this on my favourites list too ~

Btw, thanks for reviewing my stuff, it means a lot to me! But yes, I better go... h/work :(

Take care,

Lossiera Silverwind

PS You like Tolkein? OMG he's a genius! I'm a HUGE fan of his work aye!
Maelan Peredhil chapter 1 . 4/8/2003
OOh, nice! This was really neat. You described the battle very well; it seems almost just like the battles I've been in (well, I've never fought close quarters as I use a spear myself, but...). I don't usually like orc stories, but this is really good.

One suggestion:

'I stepped back and knocked his sword away from my throat. I accepted the challenge. Assuming our fighting stands, we started faking blows and charges.' (about halfway down the page). You might want to use the word 'feigning' rather than 'faking'. It sounds better.

I will read the rest of this as soon as I have time, which I unfortunately do not now. In the meanwhile, this goes on my favorites list and I will give this to my friend, who is a major orc fan.

Keep up the good work, and thanks for reviewing my scenelet, btw.

Maelan Elrohiriel Peredhil
Cierah chapter 5 . 4/8/2003
I read your story, and it is great...next chapter? maybe lol, keep up the great work, I love how you describe every little detail in your writting. You make the reader see instead of just read. Not an easy task.
Mark chapter 4 . 3/27/2003
Damn, that's got to be one of my favorite stories yet. I am very dissapointed to see it end so far, and that another chapter wont be up anytime soon. I loved it. almost no errors for a very long story, so far it's a decent storyline, but the battles are totally awesome. The storyline I hear will be put in order soon huh? If this is the very beginning, then there'll definetly be more.

One of your best writings yet, exellent work.
Cheeseinacan chapter 4 . 3/15/2003
I just don't understand why no one else has reviewed this. Maybe there's no one at Fiction Press that's even remotely pro-orcish. It's very well written, well portrayed, and I hope you get around to writting more soon )
Karabas Du Tapis chapter 1 . 3/13/2003
Thanks. And yep, chapter 3 is half-way done.
Cheeseinacan chapter 1 . 3/13/2003
Damn, that was good. Reminds me of Warcraft. You're going to keep going, right? I certainly hope so...