awesome song, especially for your first! i'd love to hear this with music. very thoughtfully written and true. i like it. good job! keep on writing!

I like this! It represents mixed feelings so well. I like the line, "I guess that love doesn't last forever./It's like a flower, only ugly when it dies." A lot of things are like that - I really like the metaphor. Overall, this is a really good song. Keep writing!

Hey there Carter! Firstly I must say that I saw your review on my story and wanted to thank you for taking the time! Secondly I am here to read some of your stories/poems/songs/etc., which I see are pretty popular, and this is my first one! I really liked it, it really does have the rhythm of lyrics rather than plain old poetry. I'm curious as to what kind of sound would accompany it :) Anyway, not much to criticise about it (which is usually the main thing I do in reviews *lol*) so I should shut up now!

Ah *feels bad for not reviewing in so long* Figured I would start with your greatly magnificent poems/songs first, seeing as I just figured out that I had 3 nice, lovely, big, gigantic chapters of "Jaws" to read :) And I'd kinda rather read those together, which means tomorrow...

Okay, well even if you did change a few things, it's still great for your first song. *wishes her first song had been even half as good* Anyway, yeah, I can really picture it as a rock song. Parts of it are really really literal, which is something I don't always like, but everything else you did with it makes up for that _ I would say what parts I loved the most, but then I'd pretty much be reposting your 'first song' in this review, just with a few parts omitted.

Oi, I ramble a lot...

~Jess

Ohmigosh, this is so good. It truly is, and I can't believe it's your first ever song. Have you put it to music yet? You should, it's really really good. I might want to use it for a songfic or something. Wow... I am so stunned! Keep up the magnificent work!

~fanty

I love it...ther's no better way to put...it's just so real and painful...i can almost feel those tears, the sleepless nights, the anguish...u really know the human heart well...what else can i say? I love it...

This is pretty good. For your first song, it's well written. I like it! Keep it up! _

P.S. Mystical Knight is updated.

Beautiful and lucid. Quite different form the usual romantic songs I've read. Well written and put together rather well. A nice read.

Sometimes I wonder if geniuses really exist. I'm still not so sure, but at least I now know that work with genius quality exists, thanks to this song! i really love the line, "I want to go on with life but it's so hard to do/How can I go on with life when I'm still in love with you?" (*cries*) so true. write more! :)

*clap* I'd like to see this put on music _

T.L. Demeter

Been a hellova long time since I've checked up on you. I like this a lot! You have a good metaphor going here.

Keep it up!

-

Aw man! if this is your first song you've ever written i suggest you keep it up cuz this is awesome... really has feeling in it and i like it... has nice flow too!

-Courtney

Excellent! Keep writing and thanks for your reviews on my riddles. There's more if you want to check them out. Keep writing you are very talented!

This first song? It looks great!

YOu are a hell of a writing to get something this good at first try! This is very realistic, describe every broken couples' emotions perfectly!

Touches everyone heart cause we can all relate to it! Great job!

Wow... this is your first one... but it is so good! When I look back at my first stuff I shudder just reading it. It was amazing that this is so impressive a beginning. I am just speachless.

Jade