|Reviews for Loki|
| Merry wanderer of the night chapter 10 . 2/7/2008
I can't wait for the next chapter... This is one of the best stories I've ever read, truly.
| Sasha L. Miller chapter 10 . 4/10/2004
bwahahahaha... great story... your descriptive powers awe me... :-D
i love your characters, and i feel so sorry for Zelle... i bet she misses Janie like crazy (and i typed 'peel' the first time, instead of 'feel'... dyslexic, yes!)
i love your story! it's so good! i can't wait to see more, so update soon please!
| Sasha L. Miller chapter 3 . 4/10/2004
eep! fixit! the two chapters are switched! it confused! oh how it confused! ok... moving on to the next chapter... will do total overall review at the last chapter...
| burning roses chapter 10 . 2/28/2004
ahah...get the name? i have to say...you've done a masterly job with this story. Since i haven't read this for the longest time everything was like..WHOA
good job. And keep writing..it'll keep you sane with all the hw our crazy teachers are giving us. hugs!
| Naamela chapter 10 . 1/10/2004
I am a "sweet thing?"
Don't worry about not reviewing my story. It's pretty bad in the beginning. I'm working on the second draft, which will be much better, I hope. So yeah. Go ahead, live lazily.
But I KNOW you're back from your road trip, unless the Stanford dudes were *that* sexy, so that means you must UPDATE. NOW. *waves large stick around threateningly*
*looks at review page* Wo. I write too many reviews that are too long too often. Whoops.
To begin. Again. I really like the "silenceaccordion" metaphor. Even though accordions are not silent. Unless you get very angry at them and break them. But anyway.
More its/it's mistakes. Tsk tsk. And sentence fragments. (I should talk!-look at this review!)
OOH...THE EYES...SO COOL...*is hypnotized by awesomeness*
How do you get all your ideas? (Heh...get used to people asking you that)
Does Skodde see the funky little creature and the eyes? Can't tell.
"I should have known there was something a little off about those eyes." Now, Zelle is a smart girl. Why does she keep using these blatant understatements? - Wow. I hope she's being sarcastic here.
Skodde melting is very cool too. Yay! Hee...I love this story...*hugs laptop*
"She's safe enough and out of my evil clutches." LMAO.
YES! You got the accents right on "tete-a-tete!" Wait, Word does that for you, doesn't it? Oh well. It makes you look smart, anyway.
And hooray for Loki being back. Yay for Loki. Happy little power freak.
I'm starting to get hints of another theme, which might be intentional and might not be: the whole life and death thing. Reincarnation, phoenixes, people suspended in life/death (Narvi and Nott in the beginning). Not sure where it's going. Not sure if you meant that to be a motif. Oh well.
You know, Loki's whole "doing it all for personal amusement" thing reminds me of the evil shopkeeper in Stephen King's "Needful Things." Except for while I'm reading "Needful Things," I keep picturing John Cleese (doing the Fawlty Towers thing) as the shopkeeper. And we all can agree that John Cleese would be a less than ideal Loki. It's an amusing image, though...
Yeah, those last few paragraphs were kind of surreal and confusing. As opposed to surreal and yet clear. But I guess they were fine...
*puppy eyes* please?
pretty pweeze with sugar on top? and chocolate?
Three months is much too long to wait.
(Again, I should talk...)
So UPDATE again. Yeah. I think you get the point.
Otherwise, you won't get any more long, rambling, probably unhelpful reviews from me.
| Naamela chapter 9 . 1/10/2004
*heroically resists impulse to keep reading*
All right. Review for Ch. 7. Here we go.
I am DETERMINED to finish this whole thing before finals. Finals are in a week. It may be a bad idea to read this while I should be studying for them, but take it as a compliment: this is MUCH better than, say, "Walden." Or "An In-Depth Examination of the Inverse Relationship Between Enthalpy and Pressure of Gaseous Hydrogen." Not to mention our school's mandatory sex ed textbooks: "Now remember, kids, abstinence is the best way to go!" Fortunately, we don't have a final exam on that...thank god...
Anyway, I shall stop agonizing and start reviewing. Again. I must be flooding your inbox with these long reviews.
HA! I am SO glad you didn't decide to make the wall-scaling easy for Zelle. Not everyone is Lara Croft.
"Arrogant, annoying little dim-wit" is the best insult for Loki that she can come up with? Nah. You and she can both do better.
My dog is on my lap right now. My dog is terribly fuzzy and soft and cute and warm. My dog is terribly heavy. Get off my lap, dog.
I like the sock comment.
Your writing style rocks the world.
"Either way, I had nothing except Sigyn that came even close to a way out."-doesn't make sense.
Well, now we know that Zelle isn't a vampire. That helps a lot. -.-
"barest of plashes"-did you mean to leave out the S? Plash is a better word than splash, anyway, but yeah.
Would you really hear the noise of a rock hitting another rock underwater? No. The water would probably cushion it, or you'd at least expect the water would cushion the noise, so you wouldn't think anything was amiss (good word, amiss) if you heard nothing. Especially if there was a waterfall right there, making all that ruckus. (Another good word, ruckus.)
Zelle really needs to stop closing her eyes. Screw blinking. Who needs to blink?
“Here. Ye look a little les at home in the dark and cold than I.” -a little les? A small person named Lester? *is confused* -
Wow. I really AM nitpicking. But if I don't, who will?
Kez probably will.
Deja vu! Yay for deja vu! *makes mental note* Deja vu stuff always means that it came from a past existence or life or it's at least important. Either that or it means computerized agent thingies are about to invade the building and kill you. I'm ignoring the second possibility.
Are they all in Loki's memories? Or what? Meh. Don't have enough clues yet. Must grumble for a while.
Whoa...Loki is in that pose of that famous statue, you know the one...the "Thinking Man" or whatever. Instantly recognizeable.
"There was some connection between me and this Sigyn." No, really? She knew that BEFORE she remembered what Skodde had called her. They look the friggin' SAME. Of course there's a connection. Zelle isn't that dumb. Change it. Now. - The goddess of fuzzy toe socks and things that go boom commands you to do so.
You actually number your themes before writing? I just sorta watch them come out...like one of those shells you put in water and it turns into a flower. Except not. Yeah, I can tell it's not exactly Norse myth.
It really DOES remind me of the game Myst.
Norse Myst. OOh. Heh...
Hope this review is slightly shorter than the others...
| Naamela chapter 8 . 1/10/2004
Ah, time for my daily "Loki" fix. - Best thing in the world. Aside from herbal tea.
"The whole situation built up in me—bubbling anger that started from my legs to work their way up. Until, furiously, I kicked at one of the nearby trees. Spraying small droplets everywhere."-the grammar police have ticked you for sentence fragments. Hehe. Besides, what are the "small droplets" from? Dew on the tree? Or is Zelle spitting like a lawn sprinkler?
Love the description of the phoenixes. Very un-Harry-Potter-esque.
Wait, so Zelle can remember that the things that were going to eat her were Nixe, but she doesn't know what Skodde called her? I'd remember, and so would you-foreign-sounding words spoken by someone who's been rather condescending are oftentimes insults. - Okay, so I'd remember it for the wrong reason, but I'd still remember.
"it’s dark color contrasting the gold sharply"-should be "its." You keep doing that!
Things like to eat Zelle.
I find it curious that while she's falling, she's thinking rationally, and here, she's like a stuck record on one thought: it's gonna eat me! it's gonna eat me! it's gonna eat me! etc.
Doppelgangers are much fun. So is this all a case of mistaken identity? By the way, good for you for not including an early, mundane description of your main character and waiting for the doppelganger surprise (that sounds like an item on a diner menu...) to describe both at once. Of course, I'm only saying "good for you" because my story did exactly the same thing, and people who were used to physical desc.s of characters at the very beginning of the book complained. But I think it's boring when someone forces in "she had red hair and green eyes, and was very tall" or whatever! Don't you?
"seemed to memorize every crevice and rock and clambered down with relative ease"-should be "have memorized." Hey, well, I'm a Latin student. Grammar police-ness comes naturally to me.
Hee! Old Norse is so much like Icelandic that I actually sort of get it. A little. Or at least know how to pronounce it.
If Sigyn is walking around the fire in a hooded cloak, how would her hair get singed? Wouldn't her cloak be in danger of being set on fire instead?
"Join us in celebration?" They're having the most depressing "celebration" I've ever seen. Nice irony.
"The mother listened, tense, and then calmed down slightly, but still looking at her daughter walking to the old man and the youth like she had just attended her daughter’s own funeral."-confusing sentence.
Nitpicking. Sorry. But it helps, doesn't it?
So there's a link between Loki and the sun that we haven't seen before. I mean, I know he's the god of fire, but the sun thing didn't come into play before now. Something to keep in mind for me, I think. Unless you're not going anywhere with the "sun" reference, and in that case, it should go! Off with its head! (Yes, I'm probably reading too much into this, but I approach everything this way: expecting everyone to be a part of some sort of conspiracy. Paranoia is so much fun, isn't it?)
OK, here's what I don't understand. I'm guessing that the people Zelle's met so far, before this chapter-Loki, Sigurd, Narvi and Nott, blah blah blah-weren't speaking English, and Zelle just magically understood them somehow, which is fine. But all of a sudden, in this chapter, you start inserting Old Norse stuff that doesn't immediately get translated. Why? Is it just because you only recently discovered an Old Norse dictionary? Consistency, consistency, consinstency.
I'm such a hypocrite. My stories are terribly inconsistent. But still, a little advice never killed anyone.
I feel so sorry for Zelle, having to climb up the cliff face. Do you know how hard that is? She'd better stock up on PowerBars first.
To backtrack, I just gotta say I loved the sacrifice scene thingies. They were tres cool. Yeah.
This review is exceedingly long, so I'll stop. Sorry. Bye.
| Naamela chapter 7 . 1/9/2004
Whee! More Zelle-falling-randomly-out-of-places-and-taking-an-extremely-long-time-to-do-so-while-all-the-time-thinking-like-a-rational-being. Hm...what's wrong with that picture? Hehe...Loki is telling her to keep her head, while she's definitely still GOT it. Most people would be screaming it off in that situation.
I hope my last review showed up in full. Fictionpress has been mangling my stuff lately. It's out to get me... *flees*
Whoa. That WAS a long fall. I wasn't aware Viking longboats sat so high in the water. As in fifty feet high. At least.
Whoa again. Skodde is like Macha/the Morrigan. Depending on whether you're Irish or Scottish. You know who I'm talking about? No? Goddess of war and bloody, gory coolness that can turn into a raven. Ahh, archetypes...well, she's a mixture of Macha and a lumberjack. That axe... Isn't it fun gaining new perspectives on your characters?
Cursey goodness. Curses are fun.
This whole damn place reminds me of Myst. That's a good thing.
The people who are talking to themselves, I'm guessing, are really talking to someone else. Like Loki. (After all, who else do we know who can communicate telepathically? Hehe) Or Odin, but Odin and the rest of the people that sorta got the better of Loki in the myths don't seem to have much power here. Wouldn't we have heard something about them? Gah. Been awhile since I read Norse myths.
“Why me? Why not you, since you are our guide…” ...that doesn't really make sense to me. Perhaps I'm having a blonde moment or a senior moment. Of course, I'm a 17-year-old brunette, but still!
I'm not so convinced that Sigurd and Zelle relate so well to each other. I mean, they just met, so how do they know each other so well? Maybe I just have that opinion because the chapters are so fast-paced. In fast-paced stories, authors do have trouble setting up bonds between characters. I should know. It's my problem too.
Sigyn. *Rushes off to book of mythology*
*Memory is refreshed*
*Resists temptation to squee (ha, stole your word) in review and give spoilers to everyone*
Hey, so I cheated and used my availabe resources. So what? I would have remembered eventually.
I SO called that she'd sink as soon as she realized she was in the river.
Sigurd speaks softly and carries a big stick, does he?
Must go finish dancing to my weird Celtic music. Not to mention my weird Euro-Brazilian club music. "Favela nao e hotel, vida nao e novela..." Sorry. I'll stop singing. Ciao bella!
| Naamela chapter 5 . 1/9/2004
Yay for Fridays! I finally have time to read more! And it's the best setting right now, too, since I'm playing this kickarse Celtic music while I'm reading, and for some reason, it's a great background. You'd think that Wagnerian Valkyrie opera music would be appropriate, but no, it's just frightening.
Speaking of frightening:
Why did you have to go and name your character Nixon? Ack! Evil dead ex-president with FANGS feeding main character to fishy-people offspring! Bad! Bad! No! (Actually, the Nixe kick butt muchly, so peachy with the keen, but STILL...) You might want to change his name. Then again, one of my favorite books has a rather central, sympathetic character named Bush, and if I could get used to that, I can get used to anything. -
"Sigurd suddenly let out a cry of pain as Nixon twisted in his grasp and now held Sigurd, one arm twisted behind his back. At any other moment, it would have been highly amusing to see such a great man held defenseless by someone as small and boyish as Sigurd." Don't you mean as Nixon?
Zelle is very cool here. She makes a nice little moral decision, but she doesn't do it in the sterotypical way: "Damn, good point."
I love your cliffhangers...wait, does that make me a masochist? No, really, they're very well-done. They're like a big sign screaming, "CLICK NEXT CHAPTER!"
Chapter title, eh? "The Eternal Dreamer" is the best. Yeah. I think. *nods fervently*
OOH, my favorite song just came on! Must go dance around in the dark! Bye!
| Scotia Li chapter 4 . 1/6/2004
Ack! Why did it only post the first few lines of my review? Damn FP to hell! _
All right, here's what I *was* saying before it killed my review.
-an absence of trees wouldn't indicate that someone was high up...not if they were in a clearing or out of the forest entirely...and definitely not if the sky they saw was just a big screen with a sky painted onto it...but that might be somewhat beneath Loki, of course...
-Loki, by the way, is very cool. And very very. VERY. Hee When I read the first description of him, I laughed out loud in the school computer lab...lots of people looked strangely at me...but they're always doing that, so what's new? Trickster gods rock the world, anyway.
-Viking ships remind me of Monty Python, and I'm not exactly sure why.
-Tricky so far. She's supposed to trust the Valkyrie, and not supposed to trust Loki, I THINK, but it's very hazy. Yay for hazy plots.
-Typos, two in a sentence. Must be some sort of record. :) "He seemed almost bored—as if he were merely reciting lines he had done for aeons, For some reasonm this infuriated me more than anything and made my reply acidic." And another: "ooh…close…way to close."
-Um, if I were in Zelle's position, I probably WOULD want to know some people's names...especially the sexier ones (Loki) and the ones that look like they'll kill you next time they get PMS (Skodde).
That's all I can remember saying, so I'll leave...and actually do some homework...maybe.
-Skosh, Goddess of Fuzzy Toe Socks and Things that Go Boom
| Naamela chapter 4 . 1/6/2004
WHE! Chocolate food fight! *lobs Hershey bar at nearest innocent bystander*
OK...yeah...hi, here I am again, feel free to ignore me, because I'm very happy, because I'm about to go to my favorite class, which is Chinese class, and so the world is perfect. (Well, what? It's hard to review when depressed!)
| Naamela chapter 3 . 12/27/2003
Forgot to say:
you do know your chapters are out of order, don'tcha? _
| Naamela chapter 2 . 12/27/2003
And I'm late. Well, twelve days of Christmas...so it's not REALLY a late present.
0o0o0o0o0o0o, I know what to squee about-this chapter! Yay! Squee! (Don't mind me. I was planning to have herbal tea with lunch, but switched to green at the last minute, and the caffiene in that stuff packs a punch.)
Question: why does Zelle feel threatened by the Valkyrie's helmet? Oh, wait, Norse helmets have horns. I guess the Valkie could gore her to death. E! Toro! Ole! *whips off red cloak and waves it around madly* Zelle is in a squick, a squick to end all squicks, the highest caliber of squick to squock on the Earth in all squickdom.
Don't reviewers like me just make your day?
"That one that tucked Jason and I into bed at nights when sleep eluded us." Should be "Jason and ME." The gramars and speeling police have caught you.
I like the dead/frozen/generally-not-moving people. They're very cool. And very original. Like something out of Madame Tussaud's Waxworks. Ever been there? It's creepy.
But I digress.
"wasn't breathing not two seconds ago."-sort of a double negative. But not really. Just awkward, I guess. (Awkward is such an awkward word, don't you think?)
Clarify when you say "Skodde, so that's her name" that you mean the Valkyrie. I was confused. But then again, I'm always confused, so never you mind me.
"laid to rest somewhere" sounds like she's dead.
Oh joy! A cliffhanger! No, I'm serious, I love cliffies. Yours is pretty devious, all right, but not as evil as one of mine that's later in my story, and you'll just have to read to find out what it is! Mwah ha ha ha ha! Okay...end shameless plug here...
And insert Ahnold accent: I'll be back.
| Amy Keeley chapter 10 . 12/19/2003
This is an incredible story. I'm really impressed with your descriptions and ability to keep the action going. I feel so sorry for Zelle. Loki's absolutely fascinating. You've done a really good job with the characters. Can't think of anything bad to say about this story, except that I can't help wondering what's happening to Zelle's neice in...Midgard? Anyway, fantastic job. Looking forward to more soon.
| DigiDayDreamer chapter 10 . 12/5/2003
Hi! Sorry for the late review! Should have read your story earlier.
Now, about Chapter 10:
It left me wondering with awe and great imagery! Yes, at the beginning I didn't know that the Skodde Zelle followed was fake until that whole earthquake thing.
And Loki, we get to know about him more! Somehow I don't want to say he's acting too sexy for his own good (seeing I am a male, and a young one at that), but I liked how he talks to Zelle like that, commanding all the forces around him like a magician.
Yes, everything is that whole surreal realm, where everything is something else. First, she must somehow be part of Loki's world (the scene with Sigyn and such). How else would he have gotten her? Yeah, a raw theory, but it's my best speculation for now.
Hmm, and those doors in the middle of nowhere, very thought-provoking.
For some reason, I thought that hand seemed leathery for a good reason. *guesses whose hand it is*
Once again, I am in awe of your writing. But I'm not rushing you or anything.
PS: Thanks for all the reviews you've given me. I really appreciate them. _
Well until then. . .
Spell ya later!