Reviews for The Alpha Warriors and the Soul Crystal
The Phoenix King chapter 30 . 5/3/2005
Well, I just read the story in two sittings. Its great to finally read a finished story on this website. Great story, by the way, perhps a little rushed at the start but it all fits perfectly at the end. Still a few mysteries to read about, however. So its onto the next one.
DigiDayDreamer chapter 30 . 11/11/2004
Sigh, I take what I said from the last review and multiplying it to the power of the largest number I can think of.
And you wrapped up things so nicely like a Christmas gift. I'm now looking forward to the next story. Even more, what's in store for Lauren and Mike now?
Well, I'm off to check other stuff now. I hope you could publish this in the future, Andaren.
Spell ya later!
DigiDayDreamer chapter 29 . 11/11/2004
Okay, I won't spoil it for readers, but this is the best chapter I've read yet! You've tied up some many loose ends and even did an unpredictable plot twist. The only gripe I have is some dialogue near the end, especially Retor's.
Now, I'll be reading the ending soon. Thanks for finishing this story, Andaren!
Spell ya later!
DigiDayDreamer chapter 28 . 11/10/2004
Hey, Andaren. Sorry for not reviewing lately. Well, looks like we're approaching the climax now. Your descriptions were superb as usual, though I can't help feeling that some scenes seemed cliched especially near the end, though you wrote them in a good way.
And you used Flyht! Yay! Even if he was only there for a short while.
Moving on to the chapter. Spell ya later! (Btw, I don't think you really need a lot of constructive criticism at the moment.
DigiDayDreamer chapter 27 . 10/2/2004
Okay, finished reading this chapter!
It's really creative of you to start out the chapter with description of the marine life in a pond. Ironic that Tara is doing somewhat the same thing to the sea creatures as Retor is doing to her world. And now we see another bonding scene between her and Joe. It amazes how often you make them do that and still make it each a different experience.
An exploding volcano. What an innovate transition to a world's impending doom. And we see a pirate ship! well, not exactly pirates on there, but it's a cool ghostly ship anyway.
Now's everyone gathering together for the final fight! And Flyht is mentioned! yay! Um, er, good scene with Joe and the others. He prays! I never thought he was a praying type, but I guess drastic times call for drastic measures.
Looking like the next one would be the last one. Or second last. *shrugs*
Until next review. . .
Spell ya later, Andaren!
DigiDayDreamer chapter 26 . 10/2/2004
Another great chapter, Andaren. The chapter title was kind of misleading, but the content was still enjoyable. Now we know more about Carenos and Bolindia and the similarities between Joe and Tara.
So far, I cannot find anything to critique and it seemed like Tara and Joe can do anything together. With these two, how could Retor win?
Great twist at the end! Sorry if I offered nothing but praise. It just makes me want to write my own stories now. Well, I hope to read the next chapter soon. Sorry, I took so long.
Until next review. . .
Spell ya later!
DigiDayDreamer chapter 25 . 5/22/2004
Another great chapter. But somehow you always vary the drama and excitement, even if the reader faces the same problems over and over and continually wondering why the characters barely change somehow.
Anyway, the satyr was definitely a great villian, which was ironic that he wanted to be free again. And once again, you’ve made some wonderful battle scenes, though there were times I got confused where all the characters were (was it in a hallway or somewhere wider?).

Woohoo! Mike is totally slicing and dicing and Joe must have strong nerves to tolerate that much pain. But where's Flyht? I'm not sure if he came along or not. Iustus must be in a talking mood too.
At any rate, this chapter is great despite some confusion, and I’m sorry I don’t have any constructive criticism.

Until next review, spell ya later!
DigiDayDreamer chapter 24 . 4/21/2004
Woah, what an exciting battle both in and out the sea! And Limbuis, I never expected to see him again! Those unicorns sure grow fast.
Through the forest of Shadows, now flooding with these skeletons! You wished things would be a lot easier for them, don't you? But it surprised tht they didn't kill them...yet.
And the door, it talketh! Who knew Bolindia was behind so many things. . .And the satyr really struck me unexpectedly.
Overall, it was a good chapter, with one flaw. In the first section, Tara was speaking when she was still underwater. I assume she was just thinking, but the parentheses made it look like dialogue. That's all I found.
Will be reading ASAP the next chapters!
DrunkenMonkeyKing chapter 1 . 3/22/2004
Nice ending! This story had me reading from one paragraph to another, you really set a wonderful mood for each part.

It was a bit long though, you might want to break up your chapters, however people always complain about my chapters being short, so it could just be me.

Anyway, I really liked it and keep the good stuff up!
mizu no kokoro chapter 24 . 1/17/2004
HEY! I'm back! although not the most constant reader, i do apologize. So far so good, you're definitely progressing well! keep up the good work adn always remind me to check up on your awsome story! I have bad memory
~Never the same~
DigiDayDreamer chapter 23 . 1/5/2004
Another chapter I've read and immensely enjoyed!
Tara and Joe are in for it this time! But I wonder about the resurrected ship and that Storm Demon. And so many information, I don't know where to start!
Well, there's the death of the unicorns - it was disbelieving that all of them died, there could have been at least one that survived or the unicorn race might been wiped out for good.
Then there's Flyht! Yay! He came back! *does happy dragon dance* Okay, he can help Tara now and there's Jason, Mike and. . .where's Maya?
Anyway, I must know what happens next! On to the next chapter!
PS: No constructive criticism - every description is still as great as ever, though there might have been a bit too much because I felt it was delaying the story a bit.
But I still like it!
Until next review. . .
Spell ya later!
Xaviara chapter 10 . 11/12/2003
O nice cliffhanger! Your story continues to pull the reader along:) I wonder where we're going though? The hydra scene was good. You had me waiting, because I knew crossing the river wasn't going to be as easy as just going across in the raft ladeda like. Who's walking up to her? I'll definately have to read more later to find out just who it is!
Xaviara chapter 9 . 11/10/2003
WOW! Great story so far! It's interesting to see how it "evolved" over time. Anyway, I think I like the palimino unicorn(even though she doesn't have a huge part), and Flyht the best. Tara is also cool, although she tends to get hurt a lot. The whole werewolf thing was surprising to me. I'll read more chapters later. ~bye~
DigiDayDreamer chapter 22 . 11/6/2003
Hi, Andaren. Sorry for the short review but I've been busy again and so decided to tell you my opinions on this chapter, which is rather short by the way.

Now finally I know the reason for all those transformations! Yes, and also I'm began to suspect that Althea may have been one of the characters in her story. Otherwise, how would she know all of that?

And the visions, quite a vivid scene! And you never ceased me with your last sentences.

"Yes," she said, her voice choked by terror, "In the vision I died."

Yes, must read the next chapter! You're doing really great!

Spell ya later, Andaren!
aleppine chapter 1 . 11/6/2003
I review as I read; in case my commentary comes off as erratic. Oh - and I write essays. Be warned. I hope you don't mind. ; )

Okay ... bonus points on a first line is always good. 'Clouds drifting moodily' - yum.

Oh! Oh, LOOK! Someone who knows how to use a semi-colon! *GLOMPS YOU*


'...her long, curly hair falling in dark clouds by her tearstained face.'

My only critisism so far is that 'around' might fit better than 'by'; 'by' just doesn't do justice to 'dark clouds' of hair - it sounds like sleeker sheets instead.

'"I have been known as Althea," she replied, thinking of the plant with the pale pink flowers she had seen being used many times to heal wounds.' - I realy liked the way you squeezed so much information into two lines there. Others I know would have written an essay to say the same thing. Okay, I exaggerate; a paragraph. Sorry ... I nitpick lots ... mainly of all the good things :D

There's some confusion when they argue ... a sentence trails off into nothing. Also, and maybe it's the formatting, but here and there there's been a random full stop which might have supposed to have been a '...'; might want to check that out. A typo - 'gong' shoulda beena 'going', I think.

The scene-setting/descriptions you use here and there are lovely and quite unusual. e.g., the palmino's mane.

Okay ... other critisisms would be the transitions between the old woman telling the story and the Tara/Joe/jason/Julian sections are a bit unlcear - formatting problem again. Try inserting a line break or something? Otherwise it's kinda confusing. A character-related comment - having witnessed the destruction of a whole vilage, Tara etc seemed pretty unreactive much; surely it woulda left a greater impact on them?

Other than that, the plot moves quite fast. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm simply not used to it. Look forward to seeing how it works with the story. ; )

You write very well. Your technique is great, and you structure the 3rd person narrative well. Some great pieces of imagery and sudden detail scattered throughout for me to savour.

I'll continue. ; )
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