Reviews for The forces that lie within
TDL chapter 10 . 5/11/2003
This is really, really getting interesting. All of these plotlines crossing each other. hehe. Keep up the good work. Oh, and what happened to Ahrimana? Is that really her or is she being impersonated? hm. Must think on that one.

~Tabitha, The Mad Hatter
MelodyReiterLee chapter 9 . 5/10/2003
Trick entrances? Gah...Anyways, good job. Write more. _

I peeked at your reviews. Umm... You can save the file as a htm file in Word. The italics and stuff won't be lost that way.
Scythe de Zaran chapter 10 . 5/10/2003
Hmm... Aush's sister. *shakes head* Well, power corrupts all. Good job.
Android Kaeli chapter 10 . 5/10/2003
This story is getting better and better with each chapter that you write. The chapters flow nicely and they aren't rushed. Continue with the good work.

TDL chapter 9 . 5/10/2003
Du-du-dun! great chapter. Kinda sad that Laina is gone though, but I'm guessing this isn't that last we see of her. ) Well, must be off.

~Tabitha, The Mad Hatter
Yanagi chapter 9 . 5/9/2003
Aw, she left. I wish you wrote more on Laina and Aush. I bet they will meet again... I hope.
DarkSorceress chapter 8 . 5/8/2003
Author here:

Does anyone know how to get italics, bolding, etc... to show up after you post a chapter. I recently realised that italiced parts of my storys were coming out in normal font, thus losing there effect.

Help, please.
Scythe de Zaran chapter 8 . 5/6/2003
You have an interesting story going on here.

I think Aush is more sensible than those brothers of him. If they underestimate him that much, they should be ashamed. Haliha is quite brave, and the half elf sounds like one with much "experience" and experience. Good job.

Write more soon.

By the way, thank you for the reviews.
MelodyReiterLee chapter 8 . 5/6/2003
Good job. _ Your characters are all interesting. Hee. Write more!
TDL chapter 8 . 5/4/2003
I can see the beginning of something here. Whether it's what i think it is or not, I have no clue. Only you can decide that. hehe. OK, enough of the babble. It was a very character building chapter. You're very good at slowly introducing the mannerisms of your characters. Very good thing to learn to do. ). Keep up the good work!


~Tabitha, The Mad Hatter

P.S. OK, now it's time for selfish promotion time. I have two new stories, here it the info:

On this site 'Children of Forever'

On .com look for the nick Angry Blood Sister

The fanfic is under Escaflowne, rated R and is called 'Return To Innocence'. I'd really appreciate your input on both if you have time. Thank you. Now, Bye for real. hehehe. By-a!
JediKnightBalthasar chapter 8 . 5/4/2003
This is a really good story-it's got a great plot and really good characters. You have the patience to move things along smoothly.

One thing you do need to work on is grammar, commas and quotation marks especially.

Other than that, this is a really awesome story and I can't wait to see more.
Yanagi chapter 8 . 5/3/2003
It was a little short but those 2 look good together. _ Write more about them! _

Keep it up!
charmee chapter 8 . 5/3/2003
Remember to proofread, hun! (for spelling, punctuation, grammar, ways to word some sentences so they sound better...)

"Lord Dominicus Shimincus"? That's like saying, "Hello, my name is Joe Schmoe.". He's a "really convincing" liar. Of course, it would sound true if one was drunk.

TRY not to repeat words in a close frame.

For example,

"...she was renting for the night. She went to sleep that night..."

See how repetitive it sounds? It's nice to repeat SITUATIONS or PEOPLE (etc.) in stories, but when WORDS are repeated too many times, the reader will get bored. It is a really difficult thing to do, but try your best. (I'm such a hypocrite. I've already repeated the word "repeat" three times. Ok, make that five.)
charmee chapter 6 . 4/28/2003
aww "sunshine and lollipops", I like that! Well, at least we see Aush as really human. Many authors would just put that he was determined to not turn back, etc. etc., what you put was very realistic.

It's also good that you showed Aush going through his alternatives and eliminating the stupid ones to make a hypothesis.

Whoa ok a hot girl for a hot guy? ;) interesting.

Laina could be a big help to women's rights and gender equality. Laina works quickly, you can tell, and is quite serious in what she believes in. She is a strong character to back up Aush. It's also great that she's got a stronger personality, so it will create a balance in the story.

Why did she have tears welling up in her eyes, but two seconds later be yelling? The emotions were a bit muddled up there.

Overall: fantabulouscheristic~
TDL chapter 6 . 4/28/2003
Interesting. Keep up the good work.


~Tabitha, The Mad Hatter
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